are you a home-mom?

@meaculpa (339)
Philippines
September 20, 2007 6:34am CST
I am a "new" home-mom or a "homemaker" in which I have just started this week. This means that I am a full-time home-mom. Previously, I was working but now, My hubby and I decided that I have to stay at home first and take care of my 3 babies ( for the meantime ) and learn other household chores esp. cooking. How about you? Can you share me your ideas, secrets, advice to become a good home-mom? Thank you!
5 people like this
23 responses
@vinzen (1022)
• India
20 Sep 07
Mothers at home - A home mom
Thats a very nice desicion i think that you have taken as that shows that your priorites were right and its good that you managed to put aside your work and thought it best to be with the kids and manage them as well, as now a days people do not understand or feel the need to take this step, just because everyones so busy in making money all the time, what happens to the poor kids?I have also been a home mom for nearly 7- years after marriage and it was only when i felt that my kids were grown up enough to go to school and take care of themseleves that i drifted out and have now taken up a ob, but that job is also just till my kids return home and i make sure that i am back in time to take care of their lunch and there after am with them right through the evening . I think if one parent is away and working, the other parent has to compromise and make sure that they are always with the kids, no mater what age the kids get as they are yor kids and will always need you at all ages. I strongly believe that if we have borne kids we have to take up their responsibilites and we cannot pile them onto baby sitters or creches or day boardings and put our responsibilities on others and feel relaxed that ways.I think you just need to share their day to day upbringing and be with them right through their growing years, you just need to help them in their studies, their works share their joys and sorrows etc, and that itself gives so much of joy.
1 person likes this
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
Thank you vinzen! I salute you for your great priorities on your kids. It is an ideal home policy that the other parent must be at home while the other parent works for a living You are a responsible parent!
1 person likes this
@vinzen (1022)
• India
21 Sep 07
Thanks for your encouraging words, and yes i try my level best to be a reponsible parent, though am sure i must be making many flaws in raising my kids, and i admit no ones perfect either, but at least the effort is there always. My priorities are always my kids and fmaily,a nd then anything else. Have a nice day :)
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
20 Sep 07
Take it from a working mom to stay at home mom. I had a really hard time with it after awhile. I loved it at first, then, I realized I didn't feel like I was making a contribution to your family. Don't think that! Financial contributions aren't the only contributions to the family. Just be patient, when you need a break for yourself be honest with yourself and let your husband know or else resentment might build up later on. Not always but it could happen. Really all I can advise is be patient, have faith that all things will come together and give your kids all the love and attention they need, kids grow fast and their childhood only happens once! that's about it. Good luck to ya!
1 person likes this
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Thank you mamasan34! I will pray for patience and being honest to myself, having faith. Good luck to you too!
2 people like this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
22 Sep 07
I do'nt know if my advice is all that great, but I sure hope it helps and good luck to you too! I am sure you will do just fine!
• United States
20 Sep 07
I am a stay at home mom, but I do also work part time as a nurse on the weekends. I always wanted to be a stay at home mom and take care of my kids. I cant say I am a great cook because that would be a fib, but I am always trying to improve. Good luck and enjoy those babies, they grow up so fast
1 person likes this
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Thank you melissaruth1! Try collecting cook books, menus, chef's arts,etc. Maybe you are a great cook but doe not know yet. There is always a room for improvement. Good luck to you too!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep 07
Try allrecipes.com! Its a free website that has THOUSANDS of great recipes! I swear by it!
@zabawaus (1732)
• United States
20 Sep 07
Hello meaculpa, I am working right now and i am not a mother yet. I will for sure just take a permission from work if i have kid or simply quit for a while but after a while since I know myself I would need to find a job otherwise i can't be happy.
1 person likes this
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
Hello zabawaus! You will become a good mother soon. It is good that you know yourself.
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
20 Sep 07
I am a stay at home mom. I left my job after I had my son. Now, I am looking after the house and taking care of my son. He will start his schooling soon. So, I am preparing him by telling him stories about school. Now, he is familiar with the school word. But, in real he can never be without me. I hope that I can manage everything and prepare him by next year. Since I am at home, I can concentrate on him fully and look after his needs. Our kids deserve the best. God bless them.
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
20 Sep 07
Your son is blessed to have a caring mom like you! God bless our kids!
1 person likes this
@gabesmom (1246)
• United States
20 Sep 07
You have received great suggestions from the previous posters. I am a full-time mom, and homemaker, too. I also pay my bills by working online. I would say just to have fun. Get organized and keep things simple, especially when it comes to cooking. Plan your meals and stock up on the usual ingredients you use. Set up playdates with other moms who have children of the same age group. This way you get some adult interaction while the children are playing. Most importantly,take some time to yourself. Have your husband or some other trusted person watch the children for a couple of hours every now and then. I believe your husband and children will appreciate a calm and happy wife and mom.
1 person likes this
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Thanks gabesmom! You are blessed to have an online work.
1 person likes this
@lightningMD (5932)
• United States
20 Sep 07
I am kind of a stay at home mom. I only work on Fridays,Saturday and Sunday. I work at a resort in the pool room. The great thing is I can bring my daughter with me to work. So during the week when she is in school I am able to be home with her. When trying to learn to cook start out with simple recipes. Dont try some big elaborate and be disappointed if it doesnt turn out. Make a list of what chores need done on each day. AS you finish a chore scratch it off your list. This will help you stay focused on what needs done. Good luck in your new adventure.
1 person likes this
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Thank you lightning MD! You are lucky to bring your daughter with you. Good luck to you too!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Sep 07
first and foremost congrats! and welcome to housewife homemaker stay at home mom hood... lol.. i have been all of the above for the last 6 years and have 2 new babies on the way.. there isnt a job in the world id rather do... one thing you need to know is patience... LOL im sure you already have it being a mom in genral but staying home with the kids all day everyday is tough...everyone thinks its a nothing job that its so easy but really if you adda ll the chores and duties you being a mother / housewife have in one day it usally doesnt equal to the amount of work your hubby does in one week... ive sat and discussed this with my husband... To keep the sanity... while the kids are napping take a break and do something that you want to do , take a nap yourself if need be or make all your importnat phone calls at this time.. ive noticed that my daughter is perfect until he phone rings and then she swiches into mom is distracted mode and turns up the volume.. so when they are napping or at school i dont know te ages make your calls then... i have some good ideas and pointers for you but i dont know the ages of your children.. let me know and i will be sure to get tback to you! good luck and have fun!
1 person likes this
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Hello beutfulmama6701! Thank you for welcoming me. I have 3kids (6yr girl, 4yr boy, 1yr girl). You are a great mom! Good luck to you too!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Sep 07
We have 4 kids (15, 8, 7 & 2 years old) and right now I don't have a job so I guess I am a FT mom again. My best piece of advice for you is to make sure that you take time off once in awhile for you to do something without the kids. It can be with your husband or just by yourself, at least a few hours if you can't do more than that, but please do it to save your sanity. It also helps to keep you out of the stay at home rut that I've been through in the past. Also, play groups are great if you have any around your area. That way the kids can have fun with other kids & you have some time with other adults that are in your situation. Good luck!!
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Hey clamarco808! What is that "FT mom again"? You are right, a mom needs to have time for herself. Thanks to you and good luck too!
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
FT means "Full Time mom"
@bizmom (515)
• United States
20 Sep 07
Im a home mom i work from home as well - mostly for my sanity - and the extra income its harder to be *organized* when the babies are smaller ( atleast for me it was) lol **shopping for groceries can be a challange - if at all possible ask a friend/relative to watch the kids so u can get the shoping done without being in the market for hours - most of which sperating the babies from fighting and or pulling things off the shelves lol - we may be SUPER MOM but we still only have two hands! lol what i did.. ( i have two that felt like 6 at times) ..was ask my sis to watch one while i took the other - switched it off to so neither felt i was playing favorites lol Id do a favor for my sis in exchange lol **if u HAVE to take them into any type of store like wal-mart, toys r us, anyplace where u can give them a toy (or BRING a toy from home thier sleeping buddy) whatever! BRING IT!! it really helps!! u can give them a toy to play with as ur shopping usually keeps them occupied long enough to get things done then as ur leaving quietly and sneekly put it back on the shelf but replacing it with a snack - like cherrios, low suger fruit loops etc. juice box, anything they can handle themselves - they wont miss the *toy* lol **also the older one or others of the kids can REALLY be a BIG help to his/her sister/brother u cna ask them to get u a diaper for the baby NOT all the time but sometimes - sometimes they enjoy feeling useful and helpful to mommy and being a big sis/bro! :) I use to pay my older daughter 25 cents for each diaper she threw in the garbage ( IN A BAG OF COURSE) and id let her use that quarter or what she saved in the store next time we went- BUT DO NOT promise something like that if u cant deliver!! they DO NOT FORGET!!! lol and they WILL call u on it at some point!! lol lol I would give her the quarter and we would put it in her piggy bank together - otherwise it would end up someplace lost or the baby would sawllow it :( lol Just a few ideas there i have tons not enough space here to fit it all and ud be reading all day! if u like add me as friend and i can message u as well :)XX welcome to being a home mom! lol
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Thank you for your advice. You are a funny mom, you have full of ideas!
• United States
20 Sep 07
I was a stay at home mom for about 3 years until recently. I think the key for keeping a sane household was to keep a good schedule going. At first, I was letting the kids sleep until whenever, dictate when they ate what they ate, it was chaotic to say the least. I think I was more stressed for the first 2 months thatn I was when I was working fuul time! Then, I set a schedule. I made a shore shart for myself and the kids. I started getting them up at 7am, exercising while they ate breakfat, taking the dogs and kids for a walk to the park for a couple hours, ect ect.... With the schedule, I felt like I was in control, not the kids. The house was cleaner, the kids were happier, and I was MUCH less stressed out. Just sit down and ask yourself what you want to accomlish this week. Make out a schedule with times of when you want to do things. Run the house the way that you want to! Good luck hun! ((((HUGS))))
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Thank you whiteangel4u! Yes, you are right! We have to schedule our daily activities. Good luck to you too! Thanks for the (((HUGS))) you are an angel mom!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Sep 07
Thank you for your kind words! I hope that everything works out well for you! I am sure that you will enjoy being home with your kids. I loved being able to be there to take them to school, and when they got home. It was so much more rewarding to me than working full time.
• India
22 Sep 07
Actually,you don't need any advice...you've already taken your first positive step towards being a good mom.That's a big decision in itself-giving up your job for your children.Putting your children's needs first,and realising the fact that they are totally dependent on you for all their needs is the key to being a good and caring mom,(in my opinion).This realisation guides you to just being there for your kids 24x7,and the kids are well brought up.My advice is that now that you have decided to stay home to look after your kids,NEVER blame your children for having to give up your job.It is your decision,...be happy about it.Find happiness in every small thing you do and take pride in it...you will see that you will never feel depressed.I'm quite sure you will be a total HOMEMAKER, and a good one too.So chill and have fun.Let me add...I'm a mother of two girls aged 6yrs and 14mnths and I am having a wonderful tme bringing up my babies.Its a beautiful experience.
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
23 Sep 07
Thanks nanditacoomar! It is indeed a beautiful experience to bring up babies ourselves!
• United States
21 Sep 07
I am a stay at home mom. I have 7 children in which 3 are out on their own now, and I still have 4 at home with me. The one thing I will say is that the job of stay at home mom is harder than any job you could ever have, and the pay is the worst no time off, no vacation pay, no sick days, but alot of overtime 24/7 work, work, work ! With the children home with you instead of at daycare be prepared to have to pick up alot more because as fast as you clean they will mess it up on you ! I always tell my children if I didn't love you I would quit !!!!! LOL ! It will come naturally to you, as the days go by you will see you are doing more and more things that you are not use to doing. With the fact of you staying home with your children you are already a good home mom ! Great start !
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Wow! you got plenty of kids! How I wish I have at least a dozen! (hahahah) Yeah, you are correct there! Being a stay-at-home mom is the best job of all! No resignation in this job, no pay, no time off, lots of overtime but the results are great wherein no amount of money can pay. Thanks and good luck to you!
@foxygirle (377)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
welcome to the home-mom world. though i'm not a fulltime mom, i do try to be with my only daughter most of the time. Now that she's in kindergarten, I have my morning sched for work and some duties. being home mom sometimes is tiresome. You'll get tired more often ahead of the children who doesnt seem to loose their energy no matter what they do. and sometimes,their questions are endless, and wants to talk to you 24 hours a days. Questions that may be silly, but to them its important, so its best to listen to them and give them a reply as soon as possible, otherwise they will badger you non stop. patience is really the key. no matter what all books would advise, sometimes its best to follow your instinct and let it be your guide in the daily activities with your babies. there's really no "the best solution" but simply take each moment and deal with it one minute at a time. Relax and enjoy your babies, this is one momentous event you wouldn't want to miss. Right now looking at my 5 year old, sometimes i wished we were back in the toddler days but i guess we cant turn back the hands of time.
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Hello foxygirle! You are right, patience is an important value of being a homw-mom. We can all but reminisce the past and if so, those should be good memories we had with our families!
@nyumix (1661)
• Belgium
21 Sep 07
Hello meaculpa, welcome to "Full Time Mom" club. I'm also a full time mom, I was working before I get married. So It was about 5 years ago since I had a job in the office. I have 2 little children, a girl and a boy.And most of the time I only do household stuff, busy with the kids and sometime using internet and posting in myLot. I don't have any idea or advice about how to become a god home-mom,but I guess every mother always want to do the best for her kids and family. Isn't it?
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Hello nyumix! Thank you for welcoming me to the Full time mom club! Being a good home-mom is to always think of what's best for our families!
@duenes (15)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
good for you!!! thats a good step to tke cre of ur 3 children. If ur working u cant even tke cre of ur kids needs that much but now that youre a full time mom you can even do all the things like teaching them on their assignments and you can also tke of urself when ur kids at school n babies nappin u can do exercise in about min so youll be fit too...plus you can tke cre of ur hubby!!!! more tym to ur kids n hubby!!! thats rili a good thing to do girl!!!
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Thanks to you duenes!
• United States
21 Sep 07
I am a stay at home mom, and while it can be very hard at times, it is still the best "job" I will ever have. My best advice for you is to try not to sweat the little things. And, I can definitely say from experience that being a homemaker for the first time can be a little overwhelming, so just try to develop a routine that is easy for you to follow. Once you have a steady routine going, things get easier to deal with around the house.
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Hello mommy! Thank you for your advice. Yes it is the best job of all! (I see tinky-winky, lala, poo, and who is that other member?)
@megs85 (3145)
• Australia
21 Sep 07
My only advice would be try to enjoy your time with your children as much as possible, whilst still being able to make time for yourself... If that means when hubby gets home you go and take a relaxing bath or whatever whilst he feeds the kiddies dinner, or whatever... then so be it. Just don't lose yourself! I don't think there is any one tried and true, method or means of measuring the perfect housewife/ homemaker. I personally find establishing and maintaining small routines to break my chores into manageable pieces, effective in keeping the house tidy. Flylady.com is a great website (in my opinion) that is free and fun to use, and can help to make and manage those sorts of routines. Other people have a more laid back attitude. In all honesty, go with whatever works for you... Decide what you want to accomplish in a day, and what you think is good, and do that :) Have fun!
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Hello megs85! Thank you and have fun too!
@itkasp (266)
• Australia
20 Sep 07
Hi, I'm also a new home-mom ;) My baby is 5 months old, so technically I've been a stay at home mom for 5 months. I know, sometimes it is not easy to do all the household chores by your self and also taking care of your children. Especially, at the time when you are in the middle of cooking and your baby wakes up ;( My tips are, I would cook something that can be frozen in a bulk (such as meat sauce for pasta, curry, etc). In that way, I do not have to cook everyday and when I need, I can defrost them. Hope this helps, good luck and enjoy your time with your babies.
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Hello itkasp! Thank you for your cooking advice! Good luck to you too!
@carolscash (9501)
• United States
20 Sep 07
Congratulations to you!! I was a stay at home mom and I loved it! It is important to be with your kids and enjoy them while they are little. I think there are several wonderful ideas listed here and I think the most important two pieces of advice are to have a schedule and to relax and have fun. Plan your trips to the park, library,etc. That gets you and the kids out of the house and it gives you a chance to interact with other moms or adults. Also, I found it helpful to have crafts or certain toys that could only be used when it rains. If the kids are used to being outside it is very easy for them to become bored and get into trouble on rainy days.
@meaculpa (339)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
Thanks carolscash! I am putting up my schedules and I am having so much fun!