Is there social pressure in your country (culture) about marriage?
By errielle
@errielle (442)
Philippines
September 21, 2007 1:16am CST
Like, if you're not married at 30, then you must find a way yo get married? I have seen in some asian countries that if guys are not married at 35 or 40, they go through a process of something like arranged marriage? Well, we don't practice that here in our country though. How about in your country?
1 person likes this
6 responses
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
22 Sep 07
Some social pressure to do so. Tons of tv media, magazines out there that blast it round the clock. We've also got pseudo holidays that are really used for single awareness (yes I'm talking about Valentines, its such a crock on both sides). Even Mother's Day and Father's Day is used as a "why are you married" statement by some ("why don't you have kids" is another). Even holidays/Christmas and New Years are all used as a couple's appreciation time and a reason to chide singles for not being with anyone.
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
23 Sep 07
Personally there is some slight family pressure. In society though, I always see something everywhere that purports the marriage craze and the need to be married. It also seems like a large "why aren't you married" question as well. Its like a legion. Its on TV, its in magazines, its in commercials, its in some of our laughable pseudo-holidays, its completely vile!
@errielle (442)
• Philippines
22 Sep 07
So you also have some kind of pressure? My perception about western culture on marriage is more open and free. Like everyone is not worried if you are single at 30. I'm 33 and still single. Although I get all these kinds of comments, i don't mind them :) i just smile at them and sometimes joke about it.
Well, i still want to get married someday. But i want to no because i'm tired of these comments but because I just found that guy for me. or the guy found me? hahaha
@wotfpatty (2065)
• United States
22 Sep 07
I am in the US and I haven't seen much pressure about getting married at a certain age. Some marry early, some late, some never. I personally have never heard anyone being chastised for not being married by a certain age. I know some old school parents may be on a daughter or son's back about getting married, settling down, having kids and all that but outside of that, unless I am very isolated, I don't think anyone cares when anyone else gets married.
They don't arrange marriages here as you know. People are free to stay single forever and I doubt anyone would really care.
@errielle (442)
• Philippines
22 Sep 07
I think western countries are more liberated. Although our country has become more open to western culture, some ethnic groups still practice arranged marriage. though this issue is not really about arranged marriage but more on social pressures. In our country, there is more of indirect social pressure such as "why are you not married yet?!!" "you should get married, you're not getting any younger". or "you're the only one left without kids, look at them".
This is more of indirect social pressure for singles here.
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
22 Sep 07
Not paying enough attention patty. I've seen plenty of pressure on the matter. We even have "holidays" that raise awareness of who is single, or who is not married!
Its disgusting. It sickens me.
Of course you may disagree with my take on it, but this is how I observe and experience it.
@subha12 (18441)
• India
21 Sep 07
Its there in my ciountry, india.
Its not only age.
If a girl or boy don't have relationship and they reach a certain age,
there is pressure from family
and relatives to get married to a person chosen by family.
Here even when a girl reaches 22-23 yrs, its being asked to the parents when she will be getting marriage.
In some regions of my country, even if they had their love realtionship,
they are forced into arranged marriages.
@Ramsakha (205)
• India
21 Sep 07
I will like to differ from you Subha. Marriage is a social institution. No doubt, in marriage a boy and a girl enter in to a life long relationship, but it is primarily seen as a relationship between two families. What you call pressure is discharging the responsibility by parents to ensure their sons and daughters are properly settled in their life.
Moreover, all arranged marriages are not forced marriages. In fact, every marriage is arranged. It may be arranged by parents or boy or girl themselves.
@men82in (1268)
• India
22 Sep 07
In our india it is normal thing of ageing upto forty without marriage . But the medical advices and researches reveal impotency risk after thirty years of age. This is the reason in our country we pressurise men and woman to early marry. Socialculture and religious might be in a side we have to see the better life conditions of both after marriage is the reason for early marriage compulsion.
@grecychunny26 (9483)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
In our country, arranged marriage is depending on the status of the family. If the families of both parties are rich they should marry someone who comes from rich family also. But i think this is not in general here. In our country it is depends on the person when they wanted to get married, but most of the people here have kids but don't have marriage.
@errielle (442)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
So it's arranged marriaged? they marry not because of their age but because its want their parents want? :)
@Ramsakha (205)
• India
21 Sep 07
I will not call it pressure. Marriage is an social institution. Govt has fixed the minimum age for marriage but there is no maximum age. There may be cases where people marry late but such cases are few. In my country maximum marriages are arranged by parents, relatives and friends. It is a relationship between two families.
