It seems like wasted words and maybe wasted time to have friends

Canada
September 21, 2007 2:17pm CST
Over the course of my lifetime, I have had some very wonderful friends that were such a big part of my life. We shared outings, conversations, dinners, childcare, shopping and consoling each other through the rough patches. At some point over time, we begin to spend less time together. Fast forward a bunch of years and I look back at the time spent sharing everything and it begins to feel like a big waste of time and words. Does anyone else feel that way?
2 people like this
8 responses
@ailema4ever (2675)
• Finland
22 Sep 07
I know what you mean. I've shared this kind of particular "problem" with my blogger friends and they say that it's just a phase of life. My closest friends (we've been friends for around 10-15 years) have been pretty busy with their own lives so that we don't communicate that "deeply" anymore. I wish we could continue having such a deep friendship, but I'm afraid for this period of time, I can't expect them to give me more than that. I'm learning still to let go and to find other friends to have a deep connection with. I'm also learning not to lean on them too much. It IS sad, though, to feel that our close friends have now become more like "acquaintances". However, I think that when the time is right again, when they have more time to give me, if they're really true friends, we'll be able to continue being close friends again. Maybe this is just a season of life...just like everything else in this world. I know it's such a pity, but what else can we do? The only thing we can do is just be the best kind of friend that we can be.
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Sep 07
I find it a bit embarrassing to try and talk with an old friend only to discover we have very little in common at this point in our lives. It probably is just a phase and eventually we'll all be empty nesters, comparing stories and pictures of grandchildren. Yipes!
• Finland
22 Sep 07
Ah...for me it's frustrating, actually, to not be able to understand my friends' situation since our lives are very different as well nowadays. LOL about the empty nesters thingie...but wouldn't it be nice to rekindle our old friendships and have plenty of time to REALLY catch up and understand one another well? ;-D
• Canada
23 Sep 07
Yes it would be nice to rekindle old friendships. I look forward to that.
• India
22 Sep 07
Friends are one possession you should try never to lose because some of them can never be replaced.You have the best times of your life with your friends,they are there when you need them.They are a shoulder on which you can lean when you feel weak,a shoulder to lean on and cry to.All you need to keep the friendship going is spend some time with them,its not asking too much considering the amount of time we all waste in front of the T.V.
• Canada
22 Sep 07
Most of my friendships are decades old. Some of them ended because of betrayals.
@gapeach65 (805)
• United States
21 Sep 07
I have never felt that way, everyone who has come into my life in the past, was there for a reason. I feel that each one of them, whether still a friend or not was important for some reason or another, either they were there to teach me something or to help me through a difficult time. I have been betrayed by some and let them go, but I will never forget that they had a purpose for being part of my life no matter how long it was for.
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Sep 07
I should reassess my friendships and find the value in each or the lessons they might have taught me. You're right, fate might have brought them into my life for a reason.
@gabs8513 (48715)
• United Kingdom
21 Sep 07
Yes I have felt that way many a time in the past and it is true somewhere at some time you just seem to drift apart
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Sep 07
The ones that drifted away are still part of my life, just not as much. I'm lucky to reconnect with them every so often.
@lightningMD (5932)
• United States
21 Sep 07
I had a friend who I thought would be my best friend forever. We had been through so much together. Then one day she just totally turned on me. Accused my boyfriend of some really nasty things and spread rumors all over town about us. Since then I dont let people get that close. I have casual friends but I will never have a best friend again besides my husband.
1 person likes this
• Canada
22 Sep 07
I've had friends I felt that way about - like they're going to be part of my life forever. It's hard to be betrayed....that's the worst kind of hurt in friendships.
@g3raldin3 (169)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
I felt what you feel before. I have this close friend since elementary. When we separated in high school to college, since she went to other city to study, we lost our communication. Then 3 years ago, she was able to find me through friendster.com. We started sharing experiences again, hanging out, etc. But we stopped communicating again. I felt my time was wasted that time - spending a lot of time chatting with her in the net, hanging out with her if she's in the city, etc. Until now, we are still not in talking terms. I feel it should be better that way.
• Canada
22 Sep 07
Sometimes it's just better to sever all ties.
@syaobai (33)
• Singapore
22 Sep 07
It was not wasted because you've had fun with them before and you did lotsa stuff with them together. You had them to be with you when you were down too. Even when you've stopped communicating, all those times were not wasted. Since they didn't ask you out, maybe you can try taking the initiative to ask them?
• Canada
23 Sep 07
I think this discussion was due to an emotional slump I was having because of things friends and I have talked about in the past. I was reflecting on those things and it prompted my post. Unfortunately it isn't a matter of socializing, I get plenty of that. The friendships I was referring to have long been over and every so often I mourn their passing.
• Singapore
23 Sep 07
opps sorry I misinterpreted.. Then maybe that friendship wasn't meant to be
1 person likes this
• Canada
23 Sep 07
I think so too but it still hurts every once in a while. I do miss those people that once were such a big part of my life.
@Valce1 (173)
• Canada
22 Sep 07
You've got the wrong sort of friends if you don't hang out after a couple of years. I still keep in touch with old high school buddies. We don't hang out as much because we don't see each other every day anymore, but we still talk about stuff and help each other.
• Canada
22 Sep 07
Most of my real friendships are several decades old. Those are the ones I mourn the most when they end.