I'm A Lonner

Philippines
September 23, 2007 4:26am CST
I'm a lonner, I prefer to be alone and I'm happy to be alone. But not all the time... Ever since I was a child I've become like this I don't know why. I loved writing anything, observe people, stay at home and listen music or watch tv alone. I'm happy doing that, but somehow I wanted to change it.I had experienced during my school days that needs to be in a group project. Since I'm a lonner I don't have a group, it is really hard to ask other to be with them. I felt so shame, I can't join to their discussion, I can't talk and I can't jam to their topics. Totally hard! So now I decide to change it. I realized that being alone in life is a nonesense. I have to gain more friends. Help me guys to this.
14 responses
@Ravenladyj (22992)
• United States
23 Sep 07
"I realized that being alone in life is a nonesense" I dont think it is...I've always been a loner..I prefer it...I have no time for the being a part of a clique and having to deal with the crap that comes with it..However that doesnt mean I dont have friends..in fact I have a few very close friends that I love dearly and I consider my family BUT I very rarely talk to them or see them etc...Being alone FOR ME is far from nonsense BUT I really dont understand the average person and how they think on a social level.. I too am a ppl watcher, I love to do things on my own as well..Its my peace and quiet time...After living the hectic fast paced life I have I NEED my solitude.... You want to gain more friends but I have to ask, do you not have ANY friends at all? Not even a best friend or even aquaintances??
1 person likes this
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
My bestfriend is not here, she's now at Florida. We don't have time to talk, she's quite busy with her job. I don't have any communication with my friends. It's okay I understand them.
@raijin (10380)
• Philippines
23 Sep 07
I'm a loner at times too, but that doesn't mean I don't migle with others so I wish that you would too. As the saying goes, "No man is an island." There will always come a time where we'll search for friends, long for company and interact with others. Try not to worry about your past and think of the future, there you'll find that there's more than to what life has to offer. You just need some boost my friend, to raise your confidence up. It is not that, just do it slowly and always put up a good smile when meeting them face to face!;)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
Thanks for the advice. I agree to that saying that No Man Is An Island... I decided to change and enjoy my life. I know that there are a lot of things that I don't know that others may know. I have to wake up and interact with others. I appreciated you all for the response, I thought this discussion I posted will be useless and no one will read it and disregard. I think it too negative, thank you very much. I'll take your advice. :)
1 person likes this
@raijin (10380)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
Glad to hear that my friend, you can start friending people here and develop it on the "real" world. Don't be afraid of what others' would say or think about you, it's a part of your and you just have to accept everything with it -be it positive or negative!;)
@wisedragon (2331)
• Philippines
23 Sep 07
loner - being a loner has its advantages and disadvantages
I'm also like you -- a loner at heart. But I have realized it has its disadvantages and so over the years I have trained myself to approach people when I have to. So now I'm flexible. I can get along with other people and blend well in a group. I'm also perfectly happy being by myself. Maybe you can join some organizations or clubs related to your interests. That way you'll know what interesting things to talk about.
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
I can do it just like you. I know I can! I'm trying to go out and try for something new. I never been joined in any organization or club. I have no idea what club I'll be joining. Thanks fot the advice I'll try to think of my interest...
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
Just know when you want to be alone and when you want to be with people, and follow your heart. If you'd rather be alone today, so be it coz if you do otherwise, you might just bring an awkward atmosphere to the group. If today you want to be with the others, try your best to be interested in your companions. Remember the basic attitude of each person: he want to talk about himself/herself. Develop your ability to lister (i mean listen with your heart and not just hear with your ears). If you can do that, people will come to you because they would want to be with you. I also believe in friendships, quality is better than quantity...you'd be able to build quality friendships over time, I'm sure. Enjoy :)
@katkat (2379)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
I definitely understand you. Were the same in some aspect, but I tried to socialized with others. Being alone means you have time for your self. As I read your post, you said that you loved being alone and I can't see any problem with that. So don't say its nonsense because you loved it. If you want to change do it slowly and don't over change yourself caused it will not definitely be you anymore. Try first to make first in people that you feel comfortable with. Don't be shy to talk to them. Have a little conversation.and it will turn out fine. Just be yourself.
• Singapore
24 Sep 07
Sometimes, accepting the way you are might be a better choice than trying to change yourself. I hope I'm not being daunting and I do have the same experience as you except that I'm not always a loner. I do have groups of friends and do enjoy their company. But most of the times, I'm alone and enjoy being alone as well.
• China
24 Sep 07
Right.making many friend with ohers is good ,but you do as you do
@subha12 (18463)
• India
24 Sep 07
Hmm. I think I was like you. But lately i have changed a bit. Mostly people who are little inrovert are like this. I am an iontrovert myself and thats why like this.
@lancingboy (1393)
• United States
24 Sep 07
I know what you mean. For me, I like my own company because other people tend to get on my nerves lol. You could compare me to Squall Leonheart and that'd be my personality where being a loner is concerned.
@jmbauer (43)
• United States
23 Sep 07
Hi, If you feel uncomfortable interacting on a large scale, simply cut back a bit. Start by finding one or two people who you perceive interesting and strike up a conversation. It helps if you have like interests. Exchange names, share experiences, most of all, take it as slow as you need to. Soon you'll become acquainted with socialization and will be able to broaden your spectrum of interaction to larger groups of people. Something I've always remembered: The subject people are most passionate about is themselves. Don't totally abandon your alone time--you'll find you won't have to, and for some this really is not healthy. Good luck!
@meemingNEW (2228)
• Philippines
23 Sep 07
It is really difficult to fit into a group directly. That is why slowly but surely, you have to get to know each one.. Start a conversation. Share your life, share your views and opinions about things.. Share anything. Maybe you have something in common with that person.. Which will eventually lead you into gaining more friends. Not all people will appreciate you nor even like you. But try your best to show what kind of person you are .. And that what's left is for people to either like you or not. I too prefer to be alone but I am usually with my group. Since just like you, its difficult to be alone especially when you have a group project in school , etc. I am thankful for being part of a group. I do hope you will gain more friends soon. Just be yourself and be more open to other people.. Best of luck to you.
• India
23 Sep 07
Don't be a loner it's really a stupid thing, before some years i too was like but i changed my approach, i learned quickly from my lessons, don't be shy anymore introduce yourself first, then they will become your friends join as many communities and grow your friend network. what about accepting me as a friend.
• India
23 Sep 07
Don't be a loner it's really a stupid thing, before some yesrs i too was like but i changed my approach, i learned quickly from my lessons, don't be shy anymore introduce yourself first, then they will become your friends join as many communities and grow your friend network. what about accepting me as a friend.
@tombiz (2039)
• Philippines
23 Sep 07
I really sympathized with your predicament. I am also a loner and I preferred to be doing things on my own. Even now, I still have limited friends, though I have already adjusted, and there are a lot of times that traces of being a loner are gone. It ran ever since I was in the elementary up to college days. But then life is too short, and we have to enjoy life, together with other people. You are right, being a loner could also be boring. Though our personality will always yearned for those alone moments, we must always strive for a balance. Go out with friends, develop good friendships and you will never regret it all later in life. Have a nice day!