Will you give your baby away?

@ellie26 (4139)
Malaysia
September 23, 2007 12:38pm CST
Supposing that you are pregnant and broke, have a job but salary is not enough, will you consider giving your baby away? Will you give him or her away so that he or she can have a better life? Do you think giving away a child is an act of selfishness?
7 responses
@CEN7777 (855)
• India
23 Sep 07
Hi Elle its a good question. Such question arise in mind under those circumstances.What I think is giving away a child so that they can have better life is not at all an act of selfishness and it is a clever decision. Though such decisions are very harsh and difficult to take but for better future of mother and child this must be taken whereever is needed
1 person likes this
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 07
Hi CEN7777, I do think it is a wise decision if its concern the child future and well being. I agree with you that it is not at all an act of selfishness. Thanks for your response.
@CEN7777 (855)
• India
23 Sep 07
You are always welcome
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 07
...My new man was adopted. He and his sister were given away because his mother couldn't care for them. He was a couple years old and his sister was only a few months old. I can tell you it bothers him very much. Most of his life, he has had abandonment issues to deal with. What his mother did was a selfish thing. ...It is a difficult choice to make. Most mothers will do what ever they can to give their baby the best they can. Sometimes it means giving them away. I thank God I have never been faced with that choice. ...May you not be is this position. If you are, I pray you make the right choice for you and your child. I don't know where you are, but here in the USA there are many places to get help. ...Peace be with you. =(^;^)= Della
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@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 07
Hi della, sometimes there are people who just aren't able to care for their children because of health or financial problem or probably to many children. Most often the case is between survival and doing what is best for the children concern at that point of time. It may look selfish, though. I am not in this position. I started this discussion because I saw in the local news about a young mother due to poverty have to give up her second baby. It made me think if I were in her shoe, would I do that, giving away my child? I dont think I want to do that.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 07
...It is comforting to hear you are not in this position. May you never have to face it either. Or the other choice of carrying or aborting. Both outcomes have to be lived with for the rest of you life. Both outcomes are life changing. ...Sometimes the choice to give up or abort a child are selfish. I know a woman who let her ex have her two boys because she would rather go to the bar. I find this very disturbing and sad. My man's mother gave him and his sister away because she would rather drink, as well. Not always is it a noble deed. Always it leave the child wondering why was I not loved enough. ...When a mother truly has no means to provide for her child, it is a noble act. If she knows her health is failing and wants to see her children into a safe environment, it is a noble act. If she fears for their safety, it is a noble act. I'm sure there are other conditions which apply as well. ...PBWY =(^;^)= Della
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@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
24 Sep 07
I dont think its a selfish act if you think there is no choice at all and your baby will suffer if you dont. like those who are homeless, Ive seen a lot of babies sleeping on the cold sidewalk, and sometimes think its better if they would ask help. Its dangerous for the baby to stay outside. There are lots of institutions who an take care of these children. Lucky are those who have a family who will stay behind them like my family. But for those who have not, decision is important.
1 person likes this
@Nardz13 (5055)
• New Zealand
24 Sep 07
Hi there. Personally speaking I could never give my baby away let alone think of giving him/her away... I have cousins that have given there babies away to family and have also later on regreted it... I have to wonder why, people have babies if they dont want to keep them and take responsibility for them... No I will never give a child of mine away...
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Sep 07
I have 7 children, and I never considered giving any of them away. I feel with all the help around that a person can find help to care for their baby. The only way I think a person should give a child away is if they are in danger of hurting themself, or the baby. The child if it is given up will wonder why when they grow up, and feel like there is a missing puzzle piece in their life, not knowing who their parents really are.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 07
Personally, I don't think adoption is an act of selfishness. I'd rather give my baby away into a loving, caring home, than attempt to raise it when I know it isn't possible.
@ellie26 (4139)
• Malaysia
23 Sep 07
Hi Midwesternnights. I agree with you. Thanks for your response.
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
23 Sep 07
I could have very well been in that situation when my daughter was a baby. My husband had left me high and dry, I ended up in the hospital, lost my job, my apartment, my vehicles and so on. Thank God I had a loving and caring family who was there for me and helped me get back on my feet. My mom bought me an inexpensive car through a friend of hers and I paid her monthly for it. She and my father took care of my daughter while I was recuperating from surgery for a tubal pregnancy and after I got better, I went back to my old job to visit with friends and they offered me my job back and even better as a supervisor. So, yes, that could have been me, but I don't think that I could give up my daughter. She is my reason for living especially during that time. I would have worked two jobs to support her and give her the things she needs and deserves. I fortunately don't have to, but I think that putting your child up for adoption isn't necessarily selfish at all. I think that giving your child up is very heart breaking and probably the most unselfish act you could do.
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