what is up with some families

United States
September 23, 2007 3:14pm CST
My husband has recently been deployed about four months ago and now it seems like whenever i need family, they are no where to be found or avoid me. My husband's aunt was all about us until he left and now she will not answer my phone calls, emails, nothing. there are just some days that i need to be around family, around anybody. i can't go to my mom's because she only critizes me all the time. any suggestions as to what i should do or say to my family?
3 people like this
6 responses
@jillhill (37383)
• United States
24 Sep 07
That is too bad that your family has abandoned you when you need them. Time to reach out and find some friends. Join a church group or organization that offers interaction with others your age. And besides that.....you have all of us!
1 person likes this
• United States
24 Sep 07
this is true. you guys have all been so great and encouraging. thanks so much. i do have a group that meets every thursday night from my church. they are all around my age to. does me good sometimes, but i can't always talk to them about things going on with me. they just don't understand unless they've been there. thanks again
1 person likes this
@roadrat (274)
• United States
23 Sep 07
if your guys unit has a stay behind staff in the states, tap into the family readiness group. every unit has one. its 24/7 support for you and yours concerning mostly medical, financial and educational resources. there are also NCO and officers wives clubs but i'd stick with the help groups first. volunteer to help these groups and you'll get a wealth of partnership and friends in return. get-togethers, planned outings and just others like you coming over to share a cup of coffee with you. the military is your family now. we're here to help.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 07
thanks so much. i haven't been contacted by anyone from family readiness so i don't even know really who i would need to get in touch with. my husband's unit just moved to pulaski about 6 months before he was deployed and that is three hours away from where i live. there is a group in chattanooga, but i'm not sure if i could even get in with them or not seeing how he is not in the chattanooga group any longer. i will check into it though and thank you again for the kind words. i know the military is my family now. they seem to be all i have here lately, besides my children who help me out alot and keep me busy. thanks
1 person likes this
@applsofgld (2506)
• United States
24 Sep 07
I am so sorry sweetie that his family has not been there for you. Don't try to do this alone, being separated from your husband and raising a small child is not easy and you need a good support system. Get out and make you some friends. Try to hook up with some of the other wives. I know a friend of my daughter's whose husband was deployed and she got on myspace.com and was able to connect with others like her. Not that I am promoting the site, it's a personal choice. But try to find a group that meets, surely there are other wives in the same situation and I am sure they would love to have a new friend. Connect with us on mylot too, you will find tons of good advice and great friendships also. Best of luck to you and my prayers for you and your child and especially for your husband. Tell him me and my family appreciate what he is doing for our country.
• United States
25 Sep 07
I will tell him and thank you for the encouragement. i'm so glad i've been able to talk to people on here and them respond to me. it's been really uplifting for me and has helped me out tremendously. thanks
24 Sep 07
well, Im not married or anything like that, but 2 years ago I was kinda in the same shoes, cuz my dad was stabbed and he was the only guardian I had, so I was pretty close to him. I suffered like soooo much, and I had to take my gcse'e again, becasue I didnt do well, becasue I was suffering so much, especially when my brother and sister were taken in to care, and I was told I cant be with them. You just have to accept that although sumtimes you need help, its not always family that can help you. Have you got like a really close friend.. go to him/her, becasue they can really hep you. My really close friend helped me and he was in six form, I was in year 11. He took me out my hell, and now he's my boyfriend, becasue I realized somthing about him. So all Im saying is at the end of the day, you do somehting that entertains you or u go to someone that u know wont nagg you, like a close old friend.
@jesus777 (664)
• Bermuda
24 Sep 07
families memebers are there for you when you really need them but what i would do about your aunt is maybe write her a letter if you know her address or go to her house to find out why she is not responding to your emails and phone calls!!!! just find out what is happening there good lick let me know how it turns out!!!!
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
24 Sep 07
That's a shame that they are limiting their contact with you if any at all. I know about criticism from mom. It doesn't make it easy especially now. I don't know if your unit has an FRG, but that would be a good place to start for support, these ladies know what you are going through and you can make some pretty good friends. As for the family I would just tell them that you need their support and if they aren't willing to give it to you now, then don't bother giving it when your husband comes home. That really bothers me that they are doing that to you. As bad as my family is about some things they always call and keep in contact. His family at least emails me. I can understand why they aren't in constant contact, they are out of the country lol.