if a girl gets pregnant with a guy, do they need to get married?
September 25, 2007 12:28am CST
i have a friend who got pregnant with a guy she dont love at all. the guy asks her to get married for the sake of baby but i think she should not decide right away coz marriage is not an answer for having an unexpected pregnancy. besides she barely knew the guy.
6 people like this
25 Sep 07
I don't believe two people should get married unless they are positively 100% in love, a baby is not a reason to get married, we are all given one life it is our obligation to live that life as happily as we possibly can, we only get one go as we know it, we must make the most of it and nothing is like being in love.
26 Sep 07
she thought about that at first but now that we've gone to the doctor and the baby has a heartbeat and is very normal, w couldnt just kill it. its already a human being now. we know it was really a mistake but the baby has no mistake at all. so i guess she should just continue it and we her friend will try to support and take care of her even without the irresponsible father.
27 Sep 07
Your friend was irresponsible for having done it with a guy that she doesn't even love at all. Now that she is pregnant, she has to deal with it. It's her baby's sake and future that she has to think of. She is lucky enough that the guy asked her for marriage. .She has to do the right thing for herself and their baby . Marriage is not an answer but she is left with the choice of having to raise the baby alone or marry the guy who is responsible enough for their actions even though he barely knew the guy.. I wish your friend all the best and best of luck to you too. My advice: " She has to open her heart just like she opened her legs. " - meeming
27 Sep 07
i know it was a big mistake for her to do that but i don think she can marry someone she dont love at all. and the guy is so irresponsible. he is still dependent on his parents and he's so mean to her. its really hard to be in her shoes now but im still advising her to be storng and hold on for the baby.. :)
25 Sep 07
This is a tricky situation. No-one really has the right to tell her what to do, but some thoughts you might discuss with her, along with the ones others have already mentioned, would be... a child growing up needs both male and female influences even in this day and age, marriage brings a sense of respectability. Not that it brings respectability, but that some would see a lack of marriage as a lack of respectability. She has to be prepared to deal with this, and to help her child deal with this if/when the time comes. children learn from their parents... a large part of how we view marriage will come from what our parents' marriage/s were like as we were growing up. marrying him will bring his source of income while she's pregnant, & then later when she's at home looking after the child. He'll have to pay child support even if she doesn't marry him, but you'll have to look at childcare costs & stuff as well then. Will the guy, though he proposes with best intentions now, come to look at her & the child with resentment? Living in a loveless marriage, you either are vowing to never find love, or guaranteeing that you'll get divorced. Divorce is a whole other can of worms, and an expensive can of worms at that. Personally, I think I would prefer to grow up to a single mother than with two parents that resented each other. The second scenario, to me, seems too likely to be full of fighting and all sorts of fun stuff. Fighting is fine if you fight fair & make up, but a relationship like this doesn't seem to lend itself to that. Ultimately it is her decision, but I think we all know that... just make sure that she does. Don't let her feel like she has to marry him; be a friend by showing her she can IF she wants to. Be a friend by showing her she has options.
26 Sep 07
bow bow bow thanks for the very good response. i agree with you really. marriage will just ruin her and the baby in the future. the best thing now is to carry the baby all by herslef and npt marry the irresponsible and heartless father. :) thanks a lot... :)
• Guangzhou, China
25 Sep 07
I think it's better to get married when they have a child. The baby is innocent, and he/she needs a good family and it's better for him/her to grow up. If this girl doesn't love this boy, why she would have a relationship with him especially without any protection? Now the boy seems to be responsible to it, and this girl has to be responsible to the baby, too. Perhaps they will really love each other after marriage. Why not take a risk?
23 Nov 12
I think not all the pregnant people get married once they get pregnant. Some of them are just live in partner, and some of them is just giving financial support to the baby. It will depend on the couple if what kind of situation they want to be in. All of my sister in law is in live in situation because they still don't want to get married and all of them have kids. I also have a friend that when she got pregnant they immediately get married. It will really depend on them.
• United States
29 Sep 07
Honestly, getting married only because you are having a baby went out with button shoes. That is what people did back when my grandma was a youngster. Now days people still do that, but it isn't wise because if you don't love that person you could end up in a divorce after only a short time. You should definitely only marry someone if you honestly and truly love and care for them and feel that they are the person that you would want to spend the rest of your life with.
• United Kingdom
28 Sep 07
No. That's really not a good idea. It might work out but the chances are that it won't. The child will be better off having two happy parents who are apart than for them to be together "for the sake of the child". It does not do children any good to be brought up in such a situation. If your friend doesn't love this guy then she shouldn't marry him because it won't do her or their baby any good. I think the best thing to do is to have them work out something between them because he obviously wants to be part of the baby's life which is good and your friend shouldn't discourage that without good reason.