Single or married?

@gr8life (6253)
Malaysia
September 25, 2007 12:49am CST
As most of you know, I am a married woman with a son. Honestly speaking, I love my life right now; being a wife and a mother myself. It is something that I can't explain by words. Sometimes, I do miss my single life but given a choice, I prefer to be married, to have my own family and am very happy right now. At one junction in my life, I did think to live alone forever as I was tired being asked when I would get married or have I found my life partner. Those two questions really irritated me so much that I decided to live on my own forever. When I stopped thinking of looking for partner, I found my husband and not to waste more time, we decided to tie the knot after knowing each other for a year. Life is not easy though but as I said, I am happier now than before. So, what do you think? Which do you prefer? To be single or married to someone? Lets share your thoughts here...
6 people like this
16 responses
@ailema4ever (2675)
• Finland
25 Sep 07
I've only been married for less than a year, but I also prefer being married. Since I lived in Indonesia and he lives in Finland, I had to leave everything behind (family, friends, my job). Now I'm unemployed but I must say that I love this life...I know that back in Indo I could earn money and use it anyway I wanted to, whereas here I have to be very careful in spending money 'coz only my husband's earning money, but still I wouldn't trade this life for anything. I know what you mean about people pestering you with those questions. I see you're from Malaysia...in Asian countries those questions are considered to be proper chit-chat questions and I have a problem with that, because it's really annoying. Some people find their loved ones later in their life. What's wrong with that? I mean, what's the use in forcing yourself to have a relationship just because everybody thinks you're old enough to do it, right? Now I'm rambling hi hi hi... Anyway, conclusion: I LOVE being married. And yes, it's not easy as we have to compromise, but it's still worth it. ;-D
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
28 Sep 07
Hello ailema4ever, It must be hard for you to adapt to the different cultures and the new title *winks* My husband is a foreigner too and marriage life is not a bed of roses or something that I used to watch in a romantic TV show. I have been single for so many years and trying to adapt to the new title and the differences between two cultures are not an easy task. We always give and take. But like you, I won't trade this life with anything else. I love to love and being loved by my spouse and the baby, he is the apple of my eyes. I live my life for them...really!
• Finland
28 Sep 07
He he he...it's not THAT hard since I've gotten lots of support from my friends and my blogging friends. Without them, I think I'll go nuts (esp. the blogging friends). ;-D Plus I have no kid yet. I think when there's a kid, it also changes everything, right? I'm just trying to enjoy every step of the way and absorb all the good things, learning to love everything about this country and counting my blessings. ;-D I understand what you mean that you live for your husband and son! ;-D Your son's SOOOOOOOOO CUTE!!!
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
28 Sep 07
Hello ailema4ever, Yeah, it will change your daily routines. The most important is, you will never get enough sleep *laughs* So get enough sleep while you can now... Oh, thanks for the compliments. I am thanking you on behalf of my baby. Well the daddy is the cutest in the family. That's what he said *laughs*
• Hong Kong
25 Sep 07
Well, I basically regard myself as single right now. I am enjoying it. I guess sometimes we just want the things we don't have at that moment. Like singletons would love to have the married life and vice versa. I don't think about it too much, if it happens, it happens. I still try to enjoy my each day to the fullest (though I often find myself a bit moody). *smiles*
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 07
Hello wondericequeen, When I was in my early 20's, I decided to get married after I graduated from the university. I had a boyfriend whom I knew since I was 14. Life was only for him and our future *laughs* When we broke up, I swore that I would never want to know any men and I stood firm with my decision for a while. Again, in my late 20's, I longed for my Mr. Right to come forward and show his true self to me *big laugh* Days and nights, I only dreamed of meeting my Mr. Right. But then again, when I reached a big 3-0, nothing does matter to me anymore. I don't care if I remain single forever. Call me a spinster, I don't mind but love to laugh a loud when I heard that word! I made a special arrangement with my mother. She was worried when she realized that I didn't have a boyfriend at 3-0. So to make her happy, I forced myself to accept that special arrangement. She will look for my future husband but when I reach 35 and still single, I have the full freedom to decide on my life. Guess what she did? I will tell you later... *laughs*
1 person likes this
• Hong Kong
26 Sep 07
Your story sounds really interesting! *laughs* I will reach my big "old" 30 in a couple of years but I don't think things would be that much different. I don't really mind being single or married as long as I have a comfy life and that's why me and my friends are starting to do things online. Hopefully we work so hard and one day the income could be enough for us to mess around *laughs*. I still think being happy no matter what situation you are in is really important! Oh, tell me the rest of the story! You can PM me with that *laughs*.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
28 Sep 07
Hello wondericequeen, *Big laughs* You will be surprised at what my mother did to make sure her only single daughter gets married in no time! But the best part was, when any of her friends told her that someone is interested and looking for a wife,she will tell them that, "My daughter has a boyfriend. You know youngsters nowadays. They don't like us, parents arrange for them!" Isn't it amazing? But she did every thing that she could to 'get rid of bad lucks' from me *laughs* so that men will really 'see' me! She also told me a funny theory : my ex did something to me, to stop me from getting married *laughs* She is a strong believer of this kind of craps! Oppss...shouldn't let her know that I say this word! Very lucky that I met my husband at last. If not, I don't know what will happen to me. Being married to someone that I don't really fond of calling him a husband!
1 person likes this
@Dasari100 (3803)
• Anantapur, India
8 Apr 09
being as a mother and as wife you can't describe your words because you have done lot of thins for your family so it is not easy to balance all the things in one way so you have done that so luckily you have found good partner.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
8 Apr 09
Hello Dasari100, I am content with my life now. Sometimes, I do miss the freedom of being single but if given a choice, I will still choose to be married to someone. I am glad that my partner is a good person too.
@Dasari100 (3803)
• Anantapur, India
8 Apr 09
I think you will find good partner while getting such good messages to you and i can guess you how you are so i think that person will soon enter in your life.
• United States
25 Sep 07
I will never marry. I can see living with the man of my dreams but I would never marry him. And I have known since I was about 10 that I would never want to be a mother and nothing has changed.So consider me a s happy single.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 07
Hello sarahruthbeth22, I respect your choice. Sometimes, I do miss my single life where I have a full freedom to do whatever I want to. On the other hand, I prefer to have someone who cares and looks after me *smiles* I am lucky to meet my Mr. Right at the very last minute before I made a firm decision to be a happy single like you...
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Sep 07
Well I could see finding the right person but there isn't a marriage in my future.So my Mr. Right should feel the same way.
@rocketsky (1014)
• China
14 Apr 09
it doesnt matter wether we are single or married :) life is full of happiness and many people knows how to enjoy themsleves and that is great . i dont want to get married so soon .:0
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
14 Apr 09
Hello rocketsky, Oh, I enjoyed being single very much! And that's the reason why I married at the age of 32. After the age of 30, I decided to settle down and have my own family.
@hopejordan (3566)
• Australia
17 Nov 07
hi there gr8life i am a single mother not married i do want to get married one day but i will wait until god thinks i am ready for thanks for this discussion
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello hopejordan, Thank you for your response. I hope you will get to find the right person and happily married one day. Marriage life is good as long as you know what it is all about. It is not about love and nothing else. There is upside down in whatever we choose to have. Good luck to you! P.S. Thanks again for digging my old discussions. I do appreciate what you are doing right now *smiles*
@runsgame (2033)
• India
29 Sep 07
i want to be always single . without any attachment or kind of this . i can be a free bird always thinking of god
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello runsgame, Thank you for your response. I do respect your choice of being single. I love singledom but after awhile, I feel a bit bored with life. I didn't look for my Mr. Right too, but when you least expect it, he will come right in front of you!
@aseretdd (13736)
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
The best part of being married is having the baby... and the best part of being single is being free to do whatever you want when you want it and how you want it...but if i have to choose between the two... would rather be married because i have my baby...i already lived a full life when i was single and now i am ready to live a full life as a mother and as a wife... though being a wife sucks from time to time...
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello aseretdd, Thank you for your response and very sorry for my late reply. I am totally agree with you on this. Even though I miss being single sometimes, I won't trade my happy marriage with anything else. I love being married and to experience having a baby and seeing him grows up make my life so wonderful.
@srkool (1012)
• India
26 Sep 07
i am single and happy. but it's not that, that i will not marry.....i will marry after the age of minimum 25
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello srkool, I was like you before. I intended to get married after I finished my degree. Unfortunately thing was not as smooth as I expect it to be. I was living alone as a single woman till I found it really bored. When I least expect it, I found my loved one who is my beloved husband right and I am happy with my married life. I hope it will last forever *smiles*
@ksp4urs (78)
• India
26 Sep 07
yes, i like to live single, but it some time so hard to find so things in life? where ever you go u r single that type of inner feeling hunts to u? so better to be married..when i'm married after that problems..solved with cool minded..wife and husband share together and live together that the indian marriage system..but recently some problems facing, both are job holders both are going to office no one in home to care taker of childerns. yes is not so easy but u can face the problems achive it with positive mind..ok
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello ksp4urs, Thank you for your response. I understand how you feel. I had been a single woman for so many years that I fully understand how it felt when you are all alone. Right now, I am happily married and I don't want to trade that for anything else *smiles*
• United States
25 Sep 07
I am in a committed relationship with my live-in boyfriend and I wouldn't trade it for being single. I had some great times when I was single, partying and all but I'm over it. I want to settle down and have my own family. So I would rather be the way I am now. I am not married but I do intend to be if all goes well. My goal is to have a family; the family I never had. And I can't do that alone.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello candiec2005, Thank you for your response and sorry for my very late reply. I understand how you feel. I hope one day, you will have the opportunity to have your own happy family.
@Sm00tH (2040)
• Belgium
25 Sep 07
I am single right now, 21 years old so i have my life ahead of me, but i am getting tired of being single. It's cheaper than having a girlfriend, but not as much fun and stuff you know? Of course, everything has it's good things and bad, but i'll take those bad ones with the good ones. i don't tend to really look for someone, because people say that one day, when you least expect it, someone will appear in your life, just like in your case =D
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello SmootH, Thank you for your response. Yes, you are right. You don't have to look for that someone. When the right time comes, she will appear just right in front of you!
@sures77 (44)
• India
25 Sep 07
Life as single as well as married have their own place & time-both are important. Being married entails a lot of responsibility than being single. To live a married life successfully needs a more mature attitude, a mental state where you are willing to think of others, able to give more, be less selfish. Hence one should marry when he or she is financiaaly capable & feels mature enough to carry responsibilties of married life. Marraige is a very important event in our life-it should be handled WITH CARE
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello sures77, Thank you for your response and thoughts. I do believe each has pros and cons. Right now, if you want me to choose, definitely I prefer to be married and having my own family. I do miss my singledom sometimes but it can't change my mind of being happily married rather than being happily single *smiles*
@musicman6 (2376)
• United States
25 Sep 07
If I had to do it all over again, I would just stay single! I've just been through so much, I would just prefer it that way! If you'll look up my post that I started,"why do I even need anyone", it will explain a lot, and it is very interesting,and it pertains to this subject! I actually got back some interesting feedback on it!
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
28 Sep 07
Hello musicman6, I loved my single, full freedom life. But if you ask me to choose, I definitely choose my present life. I love to have my very own family. My life is just for them. I live my life for them. Well, sometimes I miss the single life which is full of freedom and I could do anything I wish to do without consulting another person. But having someone who cares for me and loves me, that is more beautiful but definitely less freedom *smiles*
@youless (94715)
• Guangzhou, China
25 Sep 07
I think we are so much in common in this aspect. I have married for four years and now my son is three years old. I also miss the time when I was single because it was free and I could do whatever I liked and have much more of my personal time. I think it is still better to be married because this is life. There is only one exception. That is when I am mad at my husband, I would prefer I was single.
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
19 Nov 07
Hello youless, Thanks for your response and sorry for my late reply. I totally agree with you. Given a choice right now, I prefer to be married and have my own family rather than being a single though I miss those moments very much (especially the freedom to do everything and anything that you wish without the need to ask for a permission from your loved one)
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
25 Sep 07
I've never been married so I can't compare which is better. I've been living with my boyfriend for two years now and have lived with another boyfriend for about the same amount of time, maybe longer. But throughout I've always considered myself single even thought I was in a relationship. I know it's not the same as being married. I'm content with being single. I've never had a strong desire to be married. Like they say the grass is always greener on the other side.
1 person likes this
@gr8life (6253)
• Malaysia
25 Sep 07
Hello dreamy1, There are a huge difference between being single and married to someone. I experienced them both and yes it is true, there are pros and cons for both. When I was in my late 20's, I dreamed of meeting my Mr. Right and live a happy life ever after like in those fairy tales *smiles* But right into my early 30's, I didn't think too much whether I will end up being someone's wife or just stay single forever. My mother did arrange for me to have a blind date. She worried too much as most of my friends who are same age with me... already married and have kids in tow...*laughs*