Do you have the right to look?

United States
September 25, 2007 9:41am CST
Ok, so your in your house, your blinds are open, perhaps you have a screen door and your front door is open. Do the people passing by have the righ to look inside to see whats going on? Or do you think they should really mind their own business and keep walking by? My hubby travels over the weekends for work, and when he returns he has a bag of dirty clothes, so this morning he pulled the truck up to the front of the apartment to drop the bag off. Now its early, about 5:15 am so its still dark, and the lights are off inside except for our bedroom light which is in the back of the apartment. He came back in and left the front door open, Im on the couch and hes bent over giving me a really good kiss goodbye...lol...when he stands up and goes to leave there is our neighbor really looking inside! Like he was watching us kiss! Even when we both saw him, and was looking his direction he didnt hurry to look away. Do you think we gave him an invitation to look just because we left our door open? I feel that its my every right to have my door or blinds open, and that people should just go on by without trying to look in. I enjoy being able to see outdoors, I want my blinds and my front door open when I can. We get a really nice breeze from the door being open. Its refreshing! I sort of got upset about it, but my husband of course didnt think too much about it, he laughed about it. I mean I didnt freak out or anything, but I really thought he was looking when he didnt have too and that it was a bit rude. What do you all think? Bay xx
5 people like this
16 responses
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
26 Sep 07
I think you might have had a nosy neighbor!! We used to live in some apartments when Hubby and I first met and one day while I was asleep in the recliner, I woke up to see some guy standing at the screen door just watching me. It freaked me out and Hubby about blew a gasket. It turned out that the guy was just a nosy neighbor. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
2 people like this
• United States
26 Sep 07
LOL I dont mean to laugh dear, but thats sort of funny. It would have freaked me out too! And my hubby would have blew a couple gaskets. My neighbors an odd character really, but hes niec to you, friendly. I just dont know. I try to avoid him & his gf as much as I can lol Isnt that terrible?! They always want a ride, well if he would quit drinking he could get his license back. He was always in the paper for dui and suspended license. Im scared now! Lol Im home alone tonight!! Bay xx
2 people like this
@laurika (4537)
• United States
28 Nov 07
I would feel the same way like you. It is not comfortable if someone is staring at you through the door and when he should really mind his own business. You know but this is really interesting. I have been thinking about this a lot too. something similar happen to me every day. So we have this balcony, where are two apartmans and when my neigbhour is leaving his house he open the door and I can see to his apartman. I eman wehn i am smokign outside on this balcony(or how you call it) But you know I never look, at first I wait till I hear the door shut and then I say him hi. So I was wonder if I am being rude, to greet him so late, but I just don't feel like staring at him and greeting him when his door are still open.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 07
Oh no I don't think you are being rude honey. This guy was just standing out there in the drive looking in. We have two doors really, a hard wooden door then a screen door, only the wooden door was open. I just think you shouldnt stand and stare inside on purpose. Taking a look around and just happening to see inside is one thing, stopping to stare is another. LOL Bay xx
1 person likes this
@laurika (4537)
• United States
29 Nov 07
YEah you are right, just stop and stare it's rude. Maybe he was jealous that he has none to give kiss.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 07
Aww, that could have been it Laurika! Poor guy. lol
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Sep 07
If the doors are open people will take a peek inside your home. But, standing there and gawking at the activities inside the home is plain bad manners.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
Yea Elusive, I dont even bother looking for. I have no reason to look, peek, glance or anything else into someones home. I cant expect all to think like me though! hehe Bay xx
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
I agree, people will usually peek inside of the house when the door is open. They might think there was a burglar or something that broke in. I'm sure that is what I'd think and I'd probably check it out to make sure nothing is wrong. If there was nothing terrible going on, I'd just walk away since I know the person inside was safe. Staring is another thing altogether though.
1 person likes this
• United States
2 Oct 07
Hi Lansing, I agree somewhat...lol I did fail to mention that there is two doors in the front and that they were both not open. I guess I could see where theres a difference between a single door being wide open like from a door that is open yet a screen door seperates the outside from the inside. lol See there is that seperation that makes it that much more rude to be looking. Seeing a door wide open with nothing else seperating outside from inside, would seem an odd occurance especially at that time of the morning. And so yes I agree that taking a look to make sure things are ok would be respectful, not rude. LOL He was watching us though, lol hoping that SOMETHING else was getting ready to go on. Bay xx
1 person likes this
@TDonald (1423)
• United States
26 Sep 07
Hypothetical Question... If you have the right to look OUT at him, why doesn't he have the right to look IN at you?
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
LOL Lets add rediculous to that as well TDonald. C'mon. Perhaps because Im IN my house, where I should have privacy and respect from others, and hes is OUTDOORS in public. Lets not fail to mention that staring wether your indoors our outdoors is rude in itself. And lastly, we were not staring at him, we were busy kissing good bye, in the privacy of our own home....didnt you read it all? I was wondering how long it would take, Im sure you REALLY dont feel like this, just had to be the oddball. lol Thanks for adding some spice to my discussion. I forgot to season it. *wink* :) Bay xx
2 people like this
@TDonald (1423)
• United States
27 Sep 07
Consider some of these oddball ideas. The neighbor wasn't rude... He was concerned about your well-being, was making sure you were safe. He was shocked by your behavior. He had a leg cramp and stopped to stretch it. He's a pervert and enjoys your shows. or many other possibilities. Don't assume anything. People can be curious, rude, or... Yes people should be courteous, kind, caring, and all that but they're not always. That's why you take responsibility for your privacy and close the blinds.
2 people like this
• United States
27 Sep 07
lol Ok lets consider them; "He was concerned about your well being, he was making sure you were safe"..... My husbands truck was running and parked right outside the door, he saw my husband in there with me. Remember he was watching us when my husband turned to head to the door. "He was shocked by your behavior".... Not too shocking considering HE and HIS GF gave us a shock when we came home a few weeks ago with Police surronding the place and he had blood all over his back and down his arm from HER stabbing him. We were greeted by the police upon trying to pull into the parking area, while they tried to convince him, from outdoors in the parking lot, that he needed an ambulance. Thats shocking behavior...not a kiss between married people. "He had a leg cramp and stopped to stretch it".... This justifies him staring in an open door like hes window shopping at the strip mall? Yeah? A leg cramp will allow your mind and eyes to wander about into someones door, what kind of leg crap was that? lol Mine are painful and I dont think about other things trying to get rid of it, and standing still doesnt eliminate them, I have to keep moving and walk it out. "Hes a pervert and he liked your show".... This is what I said! lol I didnt assume anything, I was simply asking from my discussion if people had the right too look into your personal and private space just because a door or window was open? Along with my regular door, I have a storm door with a screen in it, its not like I just had my door wide open and there was nothing between us and the world outside. So you think I should create a solidary enviroment in my home because people feel the need to look inside when they really have no business to do so? I wasnt yelling help or screaming or anything of that nature indicating I needed someones assistance or attention. Conundrum said it best when they stated that even neanderthals knew better than to stare into someone elses fire. Interesting fact there, its on the first page. Take a look. None the less TDonald, great ideas though! Have a good day! Bay xx
2 people like this
@reinydawn (11651)
• United States
1 Dec 07
Well, I'm curious by nature, so if I had been walking by and the door was open I would have looked that way. I don't think I would have stopped to watch the show... When I'm walking in the morning, or a passenger in the car, I do tend to look into peoples houses that I pass. I like to see what they have hanging on the walls, the color schemes, that kinda stuff. But, it's as I'm passing by so it's not like I'm stopping and looking in at everyone. Now, my house sits back a bit from the street, and all people would see in the front door is the stairs in the split foyer. Our bay window faces the street, and you can see a bit of our one wall when you're on there. I do sometimes wonder if people can see us though...
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
Dawn, your a peeping tom in denial!!! LOL *wink* See, people are watching you from the street, just like you do. I'm kidding. He was getting an eye full. Thank goodness he moved! No more peeping tom for a neighbor. The sad thing was he was so polite, but I felt different toward him after that. Wondered how many other times he was looking and we didn't notice! Bay xx
1 person likes this
@reinydawn (11651)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I just got back from my walk, and guess what!!! I found myself looking at the houses again, just seeing if I was able to see in the windows and see what was going on. I know there's a bunch of people that see me walking every morning, but I can never see them in their houses!!!
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Unfortunately, the world is full of nosy people. I don't think an open window or an open door automatically gives a person the right to look in or walk in. I think people should sort of announce themselves if they are going to come over. I would. I'd knock on the door at the very least. If I know the person really well and I know they'd be cool with it, I might walk in, but if they were in the middle of something, I certainly would stand their and "watch"! Geez. But, that being said, I know there are all sorts of nosy people in the world. So, if I have my windows open or a door open I kind of act as if there is always teh chance that someone is watching. I have plenty of stories about invasions of my privacy that I could share, but if I did, people would wonder why the hell I tolerate the things that I do!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 07
Hi Miami, The other night I rode with hubby to drop off a horse and it was late when we got there, on the way to the track I noticed all these houses with their blinds wide open and fully lit up. I mean even without staring I could see them sitting on the couch, what was on their tv's lol I thought about how uncomfortable I would feel like that. During the day its fine, its a bit harder to see in unless your pressed to the glass or door, but late at night and your house is all lit up, really easy to see in without trying. LOL My best friends house I just walk into. She knows I'm on my way though, it's not like I stop by there out of the blue and just walk on in. lol I knock and then open the door and yell that I'm there. She does it at my house too. Oh come on tell us one story! LOL Bay xx
1 person likes this
@anniepa (25819)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I guess you have the "right" to look because, let's face it, there's no way anyone can stop you from looking but it sure isn't RIGHT to look! I've always believed in respecting people's privacy because I'd like to be treated that way myself but I know everyone doesn't feel that way. I agree, you neighbor was more than a bit rude. I can't believe he didn't even look away once he knew you'd noticed him looking! I'd have been so embarrassed if I were him. I don't blame you one bit for liking to have your door and blinds open, I also like to see outside and feel the nice breeze and fresh air. Annie
1 person likes this
@suspenseful (40326)
• Canada
29 Nov 07
I would not look into someone else's window if it were clear. The only way would be because I want to see if they were home before I rang the doorbell, but to be a voyeur and see how messy their house is, is not my business. Mind you if I see a body on the living room floor or someone in distress, then I will knock on the door, and see if I could be of assistance. I do know a little cpr, but that would be the only reason.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 07
Hi Suspensefuel, I think those are pretty legitimate reasons to be looking. I would help someone too if I thought they were hurt or in danger. Bay xx
1 person likes this
@wolfie34 (26893)
• United Kingdom
28 Nov 07
Sounds like a peeping Tom to me, reckon he's highly jealous and he has a soft spot for you! Joking apart he shouldn't be watching and it's an invasion of privacy, why shouldn't you have your doors open, maybe he knows you go around naked sometimes? The trouble is we can choose our friends, but sadly we can't choose our neighbours. He's obviously after a cheap thrill and lives a dull and boring life, sad man!
@ash6666 (819)
• India
26 Sep 07
Yes,its really rude ,He should have turned off his looks atleast when u two were getting close for a kiss.Its his behaviour which was wrong,who will take ccare at earlymorning 5 o clock?We should leave all such type of ill hearted people.if we start bothering about them we will end up in a mess
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
Hi Ash, thank you for agreeing! lol I just dont feel that my door and blinds open mean its an invitation to look inside, no matter what we were doing. We could have just been sitting there talking, I think its still rude to look hard into someones home. If it be your own home and your looking in, thats fine, you have a reason to. Im not looking in his doors and window when Im taking out my trash, or any of my other neighbors homes for that matter. All will be well, I guess I will have to adjust how I live since it cant be how I would like it. lol Bay xx
2 people like this
@kst4ever (19)
• Canada
26 Sep 07
yes i think it is very rude of ppl to be looking in your place i actually got into a fight with some ppl because they were walking by my house an staring into my window and when i looked out at them they were making gestures that they wanted to fight me cause i was looking at them , so i went out to them and they were acting like they wanted to fight because i looked at them mean while they were the ones staring in my house, but yet when i told them if u want a fight lets deal with this then take a swing neither one of them would, i am not wrong for looking out my window at ppl when they are staring in my window, some ppl are very rude
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
Hi Kst4ever! lol yea that sounded really rude. See how audacious people can be? I wouldnt have been too happy either really, after all they were looking first, you were just observing what they were doing. Hope you didnt have any more trouble with them. Bay xx
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48805)
• United Kingdom
25 Sep 07
Well I have Net Curtains up as I can not stand People looking in but you are right People should not look in but of course they need to see what is going on as for that Guy well I would have made more of a point of it just to give him something to look at lol xx
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Sep 07
See Im thinking he really couldnt see all that much, cos the lights were out, it was dark outdoors and thats why he really was just locked in a stare. I was barely dressed Gabs, I should have flashed him!? LOL Had my hubby been not been on his way to work, that was his suggestion. Bay xx
1 person likes this
@flowerchilde (12520)
• United States
25 Sep 07
Yes, I think it's rude. I never would be a nosy neighbor, but then again if a criminal was stealthily attacking my neighbor I'd never know it! :)
• United States
25 Sep 07
That kind of behavior also makes me think is he casing the place!? LOL He's nice and he always says hi and stuff, but there is something about him. He drinks a lot, and him and his gf are always aruging. She stabbed him not long ago in his arm and 3 places in his back. So I guess it really creeped me out more than anything when I saw him watching us this morning. lol I too would never try and look inside someones home just because they had their blinds or door open just because I know how I feel about it! I guess the ones looking dont really care. Bay xx
1 person likes this
@meikaidi (24)
• United States
26 Sep 07
yeah, i think that is rude! but then again if i am really worried about my privacy i would keep the blinds open. i think we all have to admit that curiosity has overtaken us in a lot of situations and we've looks when we should not have been!
• United States
26 Sep 07
Hi meikaidi, Im not Britney Spears, she should be worried about her privacy! haha I dont think the action of my blinds or door open would have "invatation to look inside" written all over it. I shouldnt have to tell people that, to me it seems like common sense. I mean what do I need to look inside someones home for? Unless your looking for something in particular, really no need. I guess I feel my privacy should be like anyone elses, something you should just know to give someone. Bay xx
1 person likes this
@twoey68 (13662)
• United States
15 Feb 10
LOL Maybe he has a little bit of peeping tom in him! I know Hubby and I spend most of our time in our office and it has a window that looks out over the back of the apartments. It's a nice little scenery area and I like being able to look out the window at it but sometimes there are kids back there and they will actually come up to the window, cup their hands against the glass and look in. One time a little boy was calling to our cat through the window and Hubby barked "Get away from the window!"...the little boy took off like a shot. We usually keep the windows closed b/c the kids can get noisy back there playing but it would be nice to have it open and enjoy it. As for who has a right to what...most ppl expect to be able to do what they want in their own home without being spied on but somethings are better left to being private. Your neighbor probably should have had the decency to look away or respect your intimate moment but some ppl don't think that way. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]
@kurtbiewald (2629)
• United States
30 Nov 07
hey if you left him a clear line of sight and you left him enough time to set up and focus the telescope...........