Is quarrel good or bad for lovers

@mari123 (1861)
China
September 25, 2007 11:06am CST
Quarrel is a common thing between people. When you are with someone all day long, it is impossible to avoid it,right? So sometimes, lovers just have a bad quarrel with each other~ Is it good or bad? Can everything come back normal? Does it enhance our relationship or leave some scars in our heart? I would love to hear from all of you~~
3 people like this
14 responses
@whywiki (6066)
• Canada
25 Sep 07
I think the occasional fight is normal. What I don't get is people that stay together when they fight on a daily basis. I have been with my hubby for 14 years and I can count the number of serious arguments on one hand, We have disagreements but nothing serious so I think that little spats are healthy but if arguing is an ongoing thing I think the relationship is doomed.
@paulsy (1263)
• Philippines
25 Sep 07
My fiance and I are together 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. We have a business together, so we work together. Our working desks are right next to each other, so we're just an arm's length away from each other. We do have arguments, but not often. In fact, we rarely argue. We enjoy working next to each other, as we can see each other all the time and we can joke with each other all the time too. There is no such thing as perfect relationship, so it would be impossible for any couple to not have any conflict at all. But if it's too often, that means they really can't meet at a certain point of understanding. Being together all the time gives us the opportunity to get to know each other very well, to understand what are the likes and dislikes of the other, and learning to adjust to each other because we love each other very much and cannot live a single day away from each other.
@tigertang (1749)
• Singapore
25 Sep 07
Good to know that you and your fiance get along so well and have managed to work so well together. I think you must have come up with something special to keep relationship going as strong as you have. I wish was as good as you at managing my relationships.
@paulsy (1263)
• Philippines
25 Sep 07
I guess it's more about understanding. We are from different cultures, he is American and I am Filipina. So we were raised very different from each other. Knowing this and accepting this basic reality has taught us to understand and accept that there exist differences in our culture. However, we share the same basic principles, beliefs and values in life, so it's like travelling down the same road together, side by side. I think if you can find someone who has common principles as you have, other adjustments that needed to be made are hardly noticeable.
• United States
26 Sep 07
All relationships fight. My boyfriend and I fight sometimes and when we do, we scream at the top of our lungs. We live together and we love each other but 2 people that are together every single day are bound to fight sometimes. It's NORMAL. As long as no one hits the other, then it's normal. I would never tolerate if my boyfriend raised his hand at me. I would break up with him immidiately and he knows that. But we do fight and scream at each other. It's not an everyday thing. If it was an everyday thing I don't think it would work for me. But just so you know, fighting or quarreling with your lover is just part of intimacy. It's normal and it's bound to happen. Just make sure no one crosses the line.
@kitkat1 (1227)
• Canada
26 Sep 07
A tiff once in a while does not have to be a bad thing everyone does every now and then and most of the time it is a learning process for both parties to learn more about each other. It is usually not hard to overcome and does not scar the heart. But there are times that this is not the case it depends on what the tiff is and what it is about sometimes then it can scar a heart and the relationship no matter how hard we try will never be the same. I dont know of too many couples who have never fought there whole relationship but i am sure there are some out there no matter how rare it is.
@forgenth (72)
• China
26 Sep 07
My grandfa and grandma quarrel with each other every day. But they live a wonderful life.You can say quarrel sauce the life.
@kaerfaima (103)
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
I think it is a both. It's bad but at the same time also good. It is good because it makes their relationship more strong but that's only if they overcome the problem together. If they don't what I've said isn't applicable anymore. Meanwhile, it's bad because it may cause the end of the relationship. That's why trust really is needed in a relationship.
• United States
26 Sep 07
Actually, in many cases, quarreling can be good because it adds spice to the relationship, but then there are times where I would not recommend it.
@meemingNEW (2226)
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
Yes.. It is common and normal for people who are in a relationship or even in marriages. In my opinion, quarreling with your loved one is not a good thing. I mean, who would endure having to quarrel or to have an argument with someone. It can make the relationship stronger though.. If the both of you can get through with that argument.
@2babita (1072)
• India
26 Sep 07
Well,I think quarreling is required in lovers life.I think it makes lovers feel for them and I think where there is love there will be quarreling.It makes feel how much they love and care for each other.
@williamjisir (22819)
• China
26 Sep 07
It is not good at all because each time you have a quarrel, the feeling is hurt one more time. I think that it is better to have one party who can well control himself/herself not to quarrel with the other one. I am just that type who usually keeps a calm head not to quarrel with my wife.
@SHAMRACK (8576)
• India
26 Sep 07
Hi, If that quarrel ends up in a compromise or happy ending then I hope that may be valued the mistake is understood. It also may be looked the serious they are quarrelling for.
• United States
25 Sep 07
It can be good if: 1. It's constructive. 2. Both of you wil admit the mistakes. 3. Shortcomings must be address. 4. Both of you will learn from the heated discussion. 5. There's still understanding even if you fight. 6. Love shouldn't be loss even if you were fighting. 7. Fighting is the way to know each other more...unless you will do what I stated above. 8. Learn to compromise from the one you love and be forgiving always. http://www.socyberty.com/Relationship/Danger-Signs-That-hes-Going-to-Dump-You--.47769
@kellyalex (151)
• China
26 Sep 07
I wouldn't like to quarrel with others.No matter how angry I am,I just let myself calm down.As the old saying goes,when you get angry,don't speak before you have deeply breathed three times.love is to avoid to hurt our lover as possibly as we can.Regards
@luluwow (165)
• United States
25 Sep 07
The word quarrel by definition is "an angry dispute or altercation" so the word 'angry" is the real question here. I think that there is nothing wrong with debating or voicing a differance of opinion, as long as anger is kept out of it. We all have different views on things and it is perfectly ok to disagree with your partner or others, as long as your intention is not to hurt the other. I work with my husband, we have our own business, and we are around each other more than most people might be. I can honestley say that we rarely argue. we are pretty good at keeping the lines of communication open and not letting things build up. We also understand that it is the way one reacts to another that is the real issue. No one can change another person, so remember to be mindful of your reaction to a situation, and know that it is not really about you. I believe that all open and honest comunication is healthy, and that always having loving intention towards your partner is a great way to maintain happiness and harmony.