I need urgent advice.. Should I leave my BF for this problem?

India
September 26, 2007 4:29am CST
I have my BF of 1 year. The problem that he is facing recently is that he is wetting bed at night. Once he wetted his pants while awake also in front of me. He was excited as he was kissing me(he told me so). Then he sat naked in front of me. I was surprised that he was not ashmed. He told me he is not in front of his GF. He has seen a doc yesterday and he thinks he don't have any physical problem as such. Only he thinks something and dreams and so wets the bed. It was not the problem before. He fears I will leave him for this. he really loves me. He is also having prob cleaning the bed sheet and all after he wets all. I have told him to use a rubber cloth and he is planning to sleep naked from tonight so he don't need to change pant and all. Should I leave him for this reason? He tells me now my love can make him overcome this problem. I need advice
3 people like this
21 responses
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
that was really weird. is there no more solution for that? hmM! but as for me, should i be in that situation, nah i don't think i should leave him. besides, you have mentioned that your love for him gives him strength to overcome what he's facing right. So i think you better stay on his side and continously support him for the mean time. now if time comes that you really can't handle it anymore then go. but hold on til you can.
3 people like this
• India
26 Sep 07
thanks. I also vcan't leave him in helpess condition.
1 person likes this
@royanne (372)
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
i don't know... i haven't really encountered a thing such as this... it's really weird but it is for you to decide! as for me, i don't rally know... maybe if he changes or because he says that your love can make him overcome this... maybe if he really can overcome this then i won't have to leave him! LOL well, i won't leave my BF if he has this kind of problem that is if i really love this guy... instead, i will help him over come this problem... but the queation here for you is that... if you really love him... and if you can accept him... love is also an act of acceptance... figure that out and you'll find the answer... well, good luck for you! hope you'll make the right decision!
2 people like this
• India
26 Sep 07
i really love him I can't leave as he is helpless now. Hope I can make situation better.
@DJ9020 (1596)
• United States
27 Sep 07
When I was younger I used to wet the bed. This is the way it was explained to me. I would fall asleep so deeply that when my body would send me signals that I needed to get up and go to the bathroom, I couldn't recieve them because I was so soundly asleep. My parents got a device that went between the sheet and the mattress cover that would sound an alarm when I wet the bed; the first drops would set off the alarm. In effect, this device 'trained' me to listen to my body. He may need to consult a sleep expert to see if this is happening to him. I would also suggest an examination with a urologist, not just a family doctor.
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
You know I have a friend (about aged 24) who does the same thing, but only during his sleep. You shouldn't break up with him for something that he apparently can't control, if you care about him and enjoy being with him, then you should help him seek treatment for this condition.
1 person likes this
@nikkiwith (1074)
• Australia
26 Sep 07
When you say wet the bed, do you mean urinate or "wet dreams"? If i liked the guy or even loved him, then i would try to get him help or try to find a solution, before i consider leaving him. How old is he? It's strange for a grown man to be wetting the bed.
1 person likes this
• India
26 Sep 07
he is 24. I know its unusual, but it has started for last 1-2 months. Wet his bed means he urinates 3-4 times a week.
1 person likes this
@shy_gal (235)
• Malaysia
27 Sep 07
Since you have relationship with him for one years, mean you also love him too. It is difficult to get one who love on us, so i think you should not leave him. Now you have to seek the solution and the way to overcome his problems. Try to get some suggestions from different doctors. Try to solve this strange problems with him which also can make your relationship more tough.
1 person likes this
@kwenge (2493)
• Kenya
27 Sep 07
Hey gal, Please don't think of leaving your boyfriend for such a reason. Infact this should strengthen his love for you if you stand by him. I have a cousin who used to do that till even when she is married. She kept it a secret till their honeymoon thats when it happened, when they came back home her husband filed for divorce. The worst was that she conceived the very night. She has remaried for like 5 times and divorced. She is traumatised. I really pity her. Her first husband married another wife and he has never gotten a baby till now n he wants his son back. Gosh! sooo sad.
1 person likes this
@sures77 (44)
• India
26 Sep 07
if you love you BF there is no need to leave for such a reason. there problem can be solved by some yoga excercises-the results can be had in 10-15 days of sincere efforts in such excercise
1 person likes this
• United States
26 Sep 07
That's weird. I think he should go to a doctor. It's not normal for him to have a peeing problem like this. Try to be understanding and tell him to go to a doctor to check it out.
1 person likes this
@meikaidi (24)
• United States
26 Sep 07
I would definitely get a second opinion. I know children can be prone to this sort of thing.. but I have never heard of an adult doing it. I am glad to hear that he is not embarrassed around you though.. especially when it is something he cannot control. I would definitely not leave him for something so trival.. it could be worse!
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
26 Sep 07
excitement - he needs to control his excitement
My suggestion is to get a second opinion. He probably has a medical problem that the doctor was not able to detect. Was that doctor a urologist? He cannot control his sphincter. It could be psychological and in that case it can be treated. Maybe he needs to learn to control his excitement.
1 person likes this
@gbaben (509)
• Russian Federation
26 Sep 07
I really don't believe this!but if it a true life story,i think there is a big reasons for you to call it to a quit with him.The major problem he is facing is not a mature man problem.He need to take care of himself first.You need to tell him that.It might be dangerous to continue with him.
@subha12 (18453)
• India
27 Sep 07
i think you can consult another urologist. But be patience with him. Others may make fun of hm, you don't. You can try bed wetting alarm. He may be stressed or sleeps deep. So he can't get signals. How often he does? And the way he is sleeping now is ok if he is in a room alone.
• India
28 Sep 07
Thanks for reply. Bed wetting alarm was not available in the shop we searched. He does it min 3-4 times a week. But last night alone he did it twice. He is very much down now.
@chikkadee (373)
• Australia
27 Sep 07
Hrmmm, if you really like him and he really likes you Im sure you can work something out. If he doesn't view it as a problem, then he needs to realise that he needs to do something about it, if not for his sake then for yours. Its not fun cleaning up pee all the time. I would take him to a specialist, if your doctor doesn't think there is a problem when he spontaneously starts wetting the bed as an adult with no previous history of doing so then you *really* need to see a new doctor. I could be an indication of serious problems.
• India
27 Sep 07
it is not fun at all. he is getting demoralized day by day. have seen a doctyor and will see another one. May be try for a bed wetting alarm.
• Philippines
27 Sep 07
Actually it is more of psychological behaviour. It is something that he need to overcome. The more he is fantasaizing over things the more reactions that he would bcome, more wetting. He needs to control the excitement feeling within him. Some unconscious dreams had this reaction with us, may we accept it or not. In terms of cleaning the bed it is also the hygiene that he needs to practice because our toxins may inflict some germs and virus, well aside from the smell isn't? give me updates if he try some of the above. thanks
@dexsha28 (73)
• Philippines
27 Sep 07
your BF is different. if i were his gf i'd better leave him he's not normal for me specially facing me naked. he should have self-discipline. he should know how to control those bad habit instead he just leave his bed wet without cleaning. i can't imagine what's the smell of his bed now. if he really loves you and is afraid to lose you, you tell him to change his behavior first and control those bad habits and if he can't sorry for it. if he can't control it now much more then he still can't overcome it. you still can find nice and clean guy than sticking with him if he can't overcome his problem.
@forgenth (72)
• China
27 Sep 07
Come on! You are fall in love with each other.Stick it out and best wishes!!
• Philippines
27 Sep 07
this is quite unusual but i know there should be some explanation on why he is experiencing this. with regards to your bf's problem, you should accompany him to a doctor to correct this ASAP. since it is really bothering you, you should seek professional help and start from there. as for ur concern on leaving him or not, i advice you not to leave him. you said that you love him and he loves you. there's no other questions i wanted to ask since if the two of you loves each other so much, there's no problem you cannot solve together. i guess you just need to hold and and instead of complaining about his unusual behaviour, you should talk it out to him and tell him about your feelings to your current situation and help him out with this problem. you need open communication with him and tell him what you should do to correct this problem. he needs you to be with him now more than ever. problems really comes in a relationship and it is up to the couple to hold on and support each other more in times of crisis. i have a bf too and we have encountered so much problems in our relationship. but i never gave up on him coz i love him so much too. when he has some problems, i ask him about it and give him support and advice if he needs it. dont worry coz everthing will be ok in no time. just hold on and love him more. trust me, you'll be thankful that you helped him through this. this is an experience that will strengthen your relationship and love for each other... God bless you... :)
• Canada
26 Sep 07
Is he Peeing the bed??? from what you have said its wet dreams and thats normal for most men even boys have them. If you can deal with the problem then stay with him but if you can't deal with it and it disgusts you then you won't love him the way he loves you and it would be better to leave. If it were me I would try to find out whether he is peeing the bed or having wet dreams and see if there was something he could do to stop it before I made a decision.
• United States
26 Sep 07
Well he might want to go see a specialist I think there is something wrong. It isnt the first time I heard this I think it is more common with women however. I think it is treatable he just needs to be diagnosis first. I think he need to go get some other opinions. You you really love him then you should stay with him. I think we will all face medical issue in our lives and the last thing we want is people we love leaving us at our time of need. What would you do if you had a problem and you boyfriend was thinking about leaving you. I think id you love him you will find him help and stand by him if you dont then you should probably let him move on