Being Kind To Yourself: Is It Easy?

Finland
September 28, 2007 5:27am CST
Do you find it easy to be kind to yourself after you've made some mistakes, after you've done SILLY mistakes, after you've failed in doing something? I think sometimes we're too hard on ourselves. Sometimes it's easier for us to be kind to other people who've just made mistakes or who've failed. It's easier for us to encourage them rather than encourage ourselves if we've done a similar mistake or if we've experienced a similar failure. What's your opinion on this?
3 people like this
12 responses
@kiobug (2250)
• United States
11 Oct 07
I am super hard on myself because I know I can do better but I only push myself to the point of what I feel is better then my classmates or coworkers. I dont give it a hundred percent so when I mess up I feel even worse about this. Im a perfectionist.
1 person likes this
• Finland
11 Oct 07
Ahhhahhh...we've got a perfectionist here! Yes, I understand what you mean, kiobug. It's good to push yourself to be the best that you can be, but once in a while you have to cut yourself some slack, esp. if you've done your best he he he...
@kiobug (2250)
• United States
12 Oct 07
Yeah but its hard. If I do something really well I set a new standard for myself. Its a vicious cycle.
• Finland
12 Oct 07
Oh dear...you'll set a new standard for yourself? Well, at least you know that's how you operate, so you'll be prepared anyway. :-D
@MarieJ23 (1041)
• United States
12 Oct 07
I also tend to give myself difficult time if I did stupid stuffs. Well, that is if the consequences is too much. However if it is just a light mistake, after everything is settled I treat myself either for a nice meal, a chocolate or just anything I can grab....hehehe...Then, I will talk to myself infront of a mirror that there's nothing to be worried about because it wasn't a biggie at all..LOL
1 person likes this
• Finland
12 Oct 07
Hi, Marie! Yeah, I understand what you mean about the stupid stuff he he he...Sometimes I do that, too. You'll talk to yourself in front of a mirror? That's quite a UNIQUE way to stop yourself from chiding yourself!!! THANKS for sharing he he he...
@MarieJ23 (1041)
• United States
12 Oct 07
I love doing it friend because in that way I will be able to see my real facial expression. I would know then if what I want to show is the same with what I feel. I mean, I just want to make sure that when I said there's nothing wrong, there's nothing wrong really not just I am fooling myself by saying it but behind my mind I am still deeply affected.
• Finland
16 Oct 07
Hi, Marie...ahhhh...yes, that's a VERY good way to gauge your emotions, eh? Maybe I should try that too he he...
@nobbsy123 (852)
• Australia
1 Oct 07
It depends much on the type of mistake. Generally im not hard on my self, however if the same situation comes along i won't make the same mistake twice. All we can do is learn from our mistakes and move forward in life. No real point on being hard on yourself, because it can only make you think more about your mistakes.
1 person likes this
• Finland
1 Oct 07
You're RIGHT about the type of mistake, nobbsy. It's good that you're not too hard on yourself. And yeah, we should learn from our mistakes and move forward. Sometimes it's not that easy, though he he he...
• Australia
1 Oct 07
It is easy. When you think about it...When you let one mistake get the better of you, more and more mistakes follow. Then it can start a viscious cycle that is hard to get out of.
@missbdoll (1168)
• Australia
13 Oct 07
I know I have to learn not to be so hard on myself and treat myself better.I used to blame myself for everything, even things I really could not control.Also I guess I put myself last too often, and everyonelse before me.
1 person likes this
• Finland
16 Oct 07
Hi, missbdoll. Yeah, I understand what you mean. And we shall all learn to do that one step at a time, all of us who've been hard on ourselves. THANKS for sharing!
@swatig (1187)
• India
12 Oct 07
Hi Ailema4ever, Nice to meet you, here! Its very true its easier to encourage other rather then ourselves.but wht i feel is anybdy learn thru mistake only.if you or me, not make a mistake then how we learn further.we are human and human is consider tobe body of mistake.its our responsibility to take care tht we not make a mistake.ohhhhh im also doing the same, telling you not to make an mistake. its happens, if i make a mistake then you told me and if you make a mistake then i told you, its happens in friends.isn't it? ^_^ Swatig
• Finland
12 Oct 07
Hi, Swatig! You can call me Amel. ;-D You're SO right in saying that we learn through our mistakes and that we shouldn't think of mistakes as negative only. Yeah, friends should remind each other that we can move on after making mistakes if only we learn from them. ;-D THANKS for your two cents! ;-D
@laurika (4537)
• United States
12 Oct 07
Yeah you are right.Sometimes it is easy to be kind to others liek to ourselves.but also that's what maybe a lot of us wants.to be hard to ourself to reach our aims.
1 person likes this
• Finland
12 Oct 07
Yeah, you're right as well, laurika. Sometimes if we find ourselves slacking and being lazy, we should be able to be hard on ourselves so that we can be better. ;-D
@nadezna (204)
• Philippines
11 Oct 07
it takes time too forgive myself for what i've done, it's not easy to accept having mistakes while you know what's the best thing to do..sometimes i always think that if im not done this mistakes i cant find myself being much stonger, having mistakes makes me want to find what's the cause of my failure i didnt stop finding it until i realized what's the cause, in that case im now more calm and contented.
1 person likes this
• Finland
11 Oct 07
Hi, nadezna...yeah, I understand what you mean. I'm GLAD that now you're more calm and contented after realizing the cause. Well, let's keep on learning to forgive ourselves, then. I also have a long way to go still he he...
• China
11 Oct 07
At most time I am kind to myself after I did some mistakes,because I do not want to make the mistake,if it happen,I did anything is late,I just try to relax myself and tell myself that you cannot do this next time,this time is past,please be happy to do other things,donot remember this.
1 person likes this
• Finland
11 Oct 07
That's a GOOD exercise, xiaovivien. Yeah, we have to tell ourselves that we're not our mistakes and we can do better next time. ;-D THANKS for participating!
@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
30 Sep 07
I agree.. sometimes we are hard on ourselves. But we should also learn to be a buddy to ourselves. Thanks for sharing this. It may serve as reminder to the self
1 person likes this
• Finland
30 Sep 07
Yes, that's true, Perry. Glad you enjoyed this discussion! ;-D
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
29 Sep 07
I found it very hard to be kind to myself since I have many people that i wanted to help. being kind to myself will compromise my helping of them. But sometimes I pampered myself just to get a break.
1 person likes this
• Finland
29 Sep 07
Well, this is a different perspective...you are hard on yourself 'coz there are many people you want to help. You have a giving spirit. KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK then! ;-D
• Philippines
29 Sep 07
It dont matter to me whether i commit mistake.i know for my self that i should not be punishing my self for that. so for me,i think it is easy being kind to my self
1 person likes this
• Finland
29 Sep 07
Ah, that's GOOD for you then, Ornussa. ;-D
@SHAMRACK (8350)
• India
28 Sep 07
Hi, It defers from person to person, still in my case I hope I get not tempted easy. Kindness falls may be due to sympathy.The person who show kindness has humanity in him not all. Still kindness give forgiveness. It is also one of best trait in human character.
• Finland
28 Sep 07
THANKS for your participation! Yes, kindness means forgiveness, but how easy it is for you to forgive yourself once you've done a mistake? ;-D
@SHAMRACK (8350)
• India
28 Sep 07
Hi, Hope how much seriousness a person give that mistake and the relatioship one has with that person who had done that mistake. Any to forgive is something really appreciable.