Would you invite your elderly parents to live with you?

Canada
September 28, 2007 8:58pm CST
We have plenty of room but our lifestyle is much different than my moms, yet my husband has mentioned a few times that maybe she should move in. She's nearing 80 and is in very good shape except that she doesn't see or hear as well as she used to. I worry a lot about her as a result and try to be more available whenever she needs me or just to hang out. The problem is that we have the animals and she doesn't mind them as long as they don't touch her or her clothes. She pets them sometimes and rushes to wash. It's kind of funny to watch. The second problem is my husband's shift work. Mom isn't a deep sleeper and once she stayed over at our house for a few weeks - it didn't work out well. She was cranky about our hours and couldn't understand why hubby doesn't come home and jump right into bed to sleep. He told her it just isn't possible for him not to sit and wind down first.... Then there's the religious matter. She's a very religious woman who attends mass each day and we are not so religious and attend mass on special occasions. It's a huge point of contention between us. So basically these are the main obstacles to letting mom stay with us. Now that I have shared these details, would it be wise to invite her to move in or should we seriously consider giving it much more thought.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
29 Sep 07
My Dad would never leave Michigan but if he wanted to live with me I'd love to have him. I'd move my Mom in with me in a heartbeat if she wanted to. It's funny but I'd even let my Stepmom move in with me. I doubt my Stepdad would ever want to b/c he is more independent. **AT PEACE WITHIN** ~~STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS~~
1 person likes this
• Canada
29 Sep 07
My mom is very independent as well. She's fun to be around most times but every so often she's the mom and we're the kids (even at our age) and what she says goes. She's so funny too and shares some fascinating stories.
@todine (40)
29 Sep 07
I would really say that you have to think it over first. In everything you do, it is very important to think of the pros and cons of the matter. But spending some time and especially living with your elderly parents would make them feel good. They don't have much time to live in this world and we don't know how much time we have left just to let them feel that they are loved and that they are important to us. You can settle the differences by talking it out. Explaining what we think about a situation to our elderly parents might help. But if having elderly parents in one house would cause a lot of trouble, it would be better to place them in a house that they would be taken cared of and visit them as often as we can. Spending a lot of time with them in any ways would really ease them and let them feel good.
• Canada
29 Sep 07
We make sure she knows she's loved. My husband is a lot friendlier and works hard at making her comfortable and keeps things cheerful around her. He changed a lot since his mother passed away. He invites her over and makes dinner for us so we can just hang out and chat. Then he takes us out for ice-cream and a walk along the riverfront. She brags to all her friends about him. Time isn't going to stand still while I make a decision
@gradyslady (4055)
• United States
29 Sep 07
If I had enough room to have my parents, when they get older, live with me, I'd let them live with me. If they needed a lot of attention, I'd have to make sure someone could be here to help them so they can be looked after.
• Canada
29 Sep 07
I think becasue I have the room, it makes it a tougher decision. She's not terribly comfortable here so I've been bringing her over more often just to see if she can get more relaxed here. My brother also has a big house (bigger than mine) and she has her own suite there but she's not comfortable there either. She's very independent and I'd just have her here so she's not alone. Other than that, she doesn't need any extra care.
@meemingNEW (2228)
• Philippines
30 Sep 07
Definitely Yes. Regardless if I have money or no money at all. I will still invite my parents to live with me and take care of them up to the time they pass away. I was raised this way and I will always be the way I am towards my family especially my parents. In fact, for more than 10 years now.. my elderly aunt who is 92 years old is living with us. We are the ones taking care of her since she has no other family to go to.. She doesn't have any kids nor a husband that is why we took her in with all our heart. This is what I will do with my parents too.. Since, we even invited an aunt, what more if it was my parents. Best of luck to you!
• Canada
1 Oct 07
We're still thinking about it. Taking care of my mom would be easy becasue she's healthy and independent. There are just minor details we would have to work out along the way.