Why won't she just LEAVE US ALONE!!!!

United States
September 30, 2007 2:12am CST
Hello everybody, I'm hoping i can get some insight and maybe even some help with this issue. The story is fairly long but here goes. My husband and i have been married for a little over a year but together for almost 5 and we have a young son. Well, it all started when i was about 6 months pregnant with our son and my husband decided to let a rather large female give him oral pleasure in the parking lot outside of the bar he works in one night after he had gotten off work. He then came home, drunker than a skunk and told me about it thinking it was gonna turn me on. See we had tried the swinging lifestyle for awhile so he thought i would be turned on by another woman pleasing him orally. Well needless to say, i wasn't at all turned on, quite the opposite in fact and considered leaving him over it, but decided not to. After all, we were having a child and everybody is allowed one mistake right?? Ok so as time went by this particular female made it known to me that she found my husband very sexually attractive and wanted my permission to give him oral whenever she felt the urge. I won't go into too much detail but i will say that i made the mistake of letting her do it in front of me thinking that maybe i would feel differently about it if i watched. Yeah, i know STUPID!! So...more time went by and things between my husband and i were not good and i ended up leaving him numerous times and trying to make a life with somebody else. Well this last time that i left him things really got messed up. He and my family devised a plan to get my son away from me so he could have him and they did. After getting my son back home with him he decided he didn't want to be in our house anymore so he started staying with this particular female. She assumed the role of mother to my son and catered to my husband as well...in more ways than one if you catch my drift. So, when i found out that this female was caring for my son and doing the things she was doing with my husband i quickly smartened up and decided to come back home and give my marriage one last chance. Since i've been back i have made it more than clear to her and my husband both that i no longer want her in our lives and she is to have absolutely NOTHING to do with our son ever again. The problem i'm having now is that she doesn't seem to get it. She won't stop calling, she went to my husband's work (he works overnights at a house) and stayed there pretty much all damn night and she keeps buying things for my son. She knows i consider her a threat to my relationship and that i want her to stay away but she's not complying. Can somebody please tell me what i should do? I'm at my wits end here. My husband says i need to let it go, that she's no threat to us and that i should let her see our son but i'm standing firm on my decision. I just can't seem to get her to see that she's no longer needed or wanted in our lives. Please Help!!
1 person likes this
3 responses
@UNPINOY (361)
• Philippines
30 Sep 07
she is not listening. she has not gotten over the permission you gave her to enter you lives. it is a dangerous situation. i have my share of people who would not let go. the only person that she will listen to is your husband. talk to your husband one more time about her, about the uncomfortable situation, and that you are concerned about your son in this situation. i am sure he will understand, he is the only only who can order that woman to finally leave. but do this in a less emotional approach, like you two device a plan that can appeal to her senses. afterall, it is you marriage at stake here, it must be a joint decision. and never leave home again, i know you love your husband and you are just starting to build up you own family. i wish you well....take care, Perry
• United States
3 Oct 07
Thank you for your advice. My husband and i have talked about this and he has informed me that i have no reason to be worried about her. He told me when i called him at work last night that she called and they talked for like 15 minutes but he tried to rush her off the phone. I can't wait till he can quit this f'in job! Thanks again for your view on this.
@UNPINOY (361)
• Philippines
3 Oct 07
you are most welcome.anytime that you need some advice, i will share my thoughts. my prayers to you and your whole family. consider this a new beginning for your married life. take care, perry
@cherry2 (43)
• United States
1 Oct 07
You can do all you can but at the end of the day it is for your husband to stand up like a man,a responsible husband and father and order that woman out of yours lives. As long as he have sort of emotional tie to her it will be difficult so the next step is court order and please stay put for the sake of your marriage and son.
@anetteh (3590)
• Sweden
30 Sep 07
If she do not listen to you, your husband say let go. I believe it is time to get a string order. God luck
• United States
3 Oct 07
I considered the whole restraining order thing and i would hate to have to resort to that but i will if it comes to that. She still calls him while he's at work and she called our cell phone when we were out having a family picnic the other day. I wish she would just move far far away and never come back!