Who is real happier? one who never fell in love or a lover with a broken heart?
By humbleme
@humbleme (1004)
India
19 responses
@cloud_one (375)
• India
30 Sep 07
totally agree with u friend... its better to get hurt than wondering what it feels like to be in love..
@UNPINOY (361)
• Philippines
30 Sep 07
relationships involve risks in making the moves and the choices. personally, i get into a relationship, if there is that feeling of falling in love, and not for any other reasons. again, not for any other reason as others do. one makes a choice of getting into a relationship or even marriage, it falls apart because, people change, they may fall out of love, situations change. life is about changes, i believe people makes mistakes of telling themselves, i am falling in love with this person, i need to marry this girl or guy. falling in love does not make it a guarantee for lasting relationships. one thing that has worked best for people is that they start s friends then get into the serious relationship and probably go to the next step of marriage.
if marriages or relationships fail, we go on and start anew, we should relate or parallel the new relationship with the previous ones, treat it as a brand new relationship. because if we continue to look back at past relationships, the cycle of break ups will continue on. we make comparisons, and that is unfair to a new lover or object of love, then we fail again. but we move on again, because we love loving, it is one great feeling....
i have had several relationships, i know my failures. today, i am starting a new one, i am doing my very best to give it a good shot. a new person to treat with respect and kindness. love completely.
as to the monks and yogis, they may have not married yes but, as human beings which they are, they also have feelings towards other human beings. it is just that they cannot allow themselves to have that feeling flourish. may not sound good but it is actually good to them because their object of affection or love belongs to a higher being, GOD. They are in love with their God. Now who's saying they don' fall in love.
Human beings inherently falls in love, no exception. Those only who chose not to fall in love, has some other things in mind, This would need another discussion my friend.
@izathewzia (5134)
• Philippines
30 Sep 07
All of us experiences sadness. BUt it is up to us on how to handle situations. We can dwell on it till we live in misery. Or we can do things that could make us happy. It is a matter of choice. And is not dictated by the situations.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
30 Sep 07
Thats really impossible to answer IMO....We all react and feel differently not to mention live differently so someone who has had their heart broken COULD be the happier person simply becuase they had that love to begin with....however someone who's never been in love COULD be the happier person becaues thats what makes them happy....Since our goals, desires, wants/needs etc etc are all different there is no way to really answer that accurately IMO
1 person likes this
@cloud_one (375)
• India
30 Sep 07
i think the person who has fallen in love is more happier.. coz at least he has experienced love which is beautiful.... At least he has some beautiful memories....
1 person likes this
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
I dont know if there is happier in that situation. Because if you have a broken heart it means youre lonely. But I think the one who experienced to be loved and fall in love is the one with a meaningful life.Because he would have experience how great is to be in love. We find happiness by loving and knowing how to love...
@braveheart07 (2601)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
I think the one who fell inlove, though it is possible also that the one who had never experienced falling inlove may also be much happier than the one who fell inlove. Simply because he/she never cried and the pain that he/she experienced is less when compared to the one that had fallen inlove but was left alone with a broken heart. The situations really vary but if we talk about a successful and long-lasting relationship, it is the one who fell inlove who is much happier.
Have a nice day and God speed!
1 person likes this
@cloud_kicker_32 (4635)
• United States
2 Oct 07
hello there humle..i have contiplated this for so LONG I DIDNT think i would get to a decision..lol..but i look at it this way...i am happier knowing i fell in love a coupe times in my life..and i have such wonderful memories that will never leave my mind or heart..even though in the end one was a horrible break..after about 8 years now..i think about the great times i have had in my life..and many of those were with my exes..and then to think if i never loved anyone..theer would be nooo memories..no daydreaming about special times we had..and just feel even lonelier..sooo im totally goin with falling in love and eventually getting my heart broke..although i have a much locked away key..and a brick wall..so i dont rush into anything..untill i know this is for real..know what i mean? take care:)
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
4 Jun 09
Hi Humbleme
That is a very tough question to answer because I have been on both sides. When I was in love, it felt like the most beautiful thing in the world and I didn't want anything else at all. But after my heart gotten broken 3 times, I feel like I would've been just fine if I never have felt what love is at all because when you fall in love your heart will always be broken. There is never a happy ending with love. So, the risk is up to the person to take of course because a person can't plan to fall in love, he or she will without them realizing sometimes. I have learn to not go there anymore at all because I am done with my heart being broken.
@DuoMaxwell (953)
• United States
1 Oct 07
Well it's a lot easier for one who never fell in love to miss out on the pain of a broken heart, because a broken heart hurts very much like 1000 arrows piercing and shattering it.
Several years ago I used to have a girlfriend, who shall remain nameless, from another neighboring state, and we've talked to each other on the internet, and on the phone, although it was long distance. Years later, because of a mistake mainly on my part, we broke up. I know that she's found someone good who will treat her right, and I was devastated by it.
Years later all the way to today, I realized that, perhaps i've done the RIGHT thing instead. A relationship means having to give a lot of things up, committment, being serious all the time, and let's face it, I still lived in my parents' house. So a relationship means carrying a heavy burden on myself, and if I had kids with my ex-girlfriend years later, I was clumsy and prone to mistakes. I don't even want to think about what would happen if I make a grave mistake that ends up killing a son or daughter I would have. But no more.
I realized that i'm free as a bird, and my heavy yoke, my heavy neck-weight, has been lifted off of me. Breaking up means being unlatched to a ball-and-chain that would've been affixed on my ankle. That's one mistake i'll NEVER let happen again. Without having a lover, I got nothing to lose and everything to gain (except love), and i've reclaimed my life again! I feel that its much better to not fall in love ever again, despite the saying of "it's better to have loved and lost to have never loved at all". No, it should be the other way around.
It's better to have never loved at all than to have loved and lost.
1 person likes this
@wisedragon (2325)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
I think if you can turn the heartache into an experience you will emerge wiser, stronger, and happier.
Before I fell in love I was like lost, like I didn't know what to do with my life.
@YoungInLove (1254)
• Canada
1 Oct 07
I dont know, its hard to say.
Some would argue that the person who has fell in love is happier because they got to experience love. But the thing is, when they lose it, they're sad because they knew how great being in love felt like and they dont have it anymore.
The people who have never been in a relatinship missed out on being in love so thats where they lose out, but they dont yet know how horrible it feels when you lose it.
I dont know.. it all depends how you see it I guess. I fell in love and lost it and although its the most blissfull feeling in the world, it sucks knowing how amazing it can feel but how much it sucks when you dont have it anymore..
@blog8withJ (136)
• United States
30 Sep 07
You will never know...it depends on the person. There are person who's contented and happy without experiencing the break and the aches of heart. S/he's more confident in h/his life that s/he can still go on despite with the absence of h/his love with someone. S/he can always find out ways to make her/himself happy. On the other hand, broken heart is totally sucks. Who wants a broken heart? Not me. Not me ever. It's really really tearful. Anyway, I can say that I'm more happy without someone than having someone but my heart is broken. Broken heart really sucks.
1 person likes this
@joshboz (1209)
• Australia
1 Oct 07
hey humbleme this is a good topic. honestly, i think my answer is both are happy but not completely happy why? because the broken hearted is at first happy before the sad thing of being broken happy while the one who never tried to love maybe happy if his thinking the experiences of a broken hearted but may feel unhappy because he never felt love at all which is a nice thing, at least the broken hearted felt it before the sad thing happens to him. so i guess both are happy in some ways but maybe unhappy because of the consequence of the experience itself.
@hemalover (829)
• Egypt
30 Sep 07
i think the one who never fell in love is the happier becouse he didt feel the beautiful of love .. becouse if he got brokeen heart he will be very sad one...
@weehihi (132)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
you cant really say one is happier than the other...people differ in many ways..a person who never fell in love can be happier than the one who has his heart broken..maybe he just puts all his love into other things that makes him happy..on the other hand, the one that has experienced love and being broken hearted can be happier than the one who havent experienced it at all..so it really depends on the person..
@theprogamer (10534)
• United States
30 Sep 07
The one who never fell. At least he doesn't have to deal with the heartbreak of falling out of love, or being deceived in a relationship. The one with the broken heart can heal yes, but the backstab scars and the scars of the heart are still there. Its also compounding for some people so eventually people reach their limits and thats not a very happy scenario at first (it gets better when you accept the single life)
@casablynn (150)
• United States
30 Sep 07
What a great question, it would seem that it should be the person without the broken heart, but how can one be truly happy if one has never experienced true love? The person with the broken heart will heal one day and remember fondly, hopefully, the experiences with their ex-love and know that once they were happiest and they can be that way again, but the person who has never had a broken heart has no idea what level of happiness they could attain, therefor I believe it is the person with the broken heart who is happiest.
@twilight_75 (479)
•
30 Sep 07
Society expects much from us mere humans, presure is put on to find and love and marry and have children. I've loved and lost. Had my heart ripped out, jumped up and down on, I've been the cause of others heart break. When it comes down to who i would think the happier...I could certainly have done without the misery of a broken relationship, and i definitely was not happy at that point, but i was happy for the best part of it and have nice memories. Too have never of loved, i can't possibly comprehend. But why shouldn't that person still be happy? who says that being in love or being loved is must have for a well rounded and happy life
