How can you make a quiet person talk when you have an argument?

Philippines
September 30, 2007 9:24pm CST
My sister has an opposite personality than I do and she is the introvert/quiet type. It disturbs me of how to understand her better and get an idea of how she feels when she stays quiet when we have an argument. I also don't want to leave things hanging since there's only the two of us living together while our father is in the province. My fears is when I wouldn't know how to help her if ever she needs one, and if she gets wild without me knowing the intensity of her anger. Should I make the effort to reconcile with her or should I leave her alone?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@michecu (637)
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
Most of the time, in an argument, I am the one who is quiet. Usually, I keep quiet because I do not want to argue. I would often wait for the other person to finish his/her argument and become calm before I speak up. If the person shows that he/she is willing to listen to my side, then I will speak what's in my mind but if not I choose to keep quiet. There is no use in arguing with a person who refuses to listen. Nevertheless, if there is an issue which I really need to talk about with a person who has chosen to keep silent, I would definitely initiate it. But I would wait for the time when the heat has already cooled down. Then I would approach the person calmly and ask if we can talk things over and perhaps settle our differences. I would also like to listen to his/her side so that I would be able to correct whatever misconceptions I have with regards to the situation between us. I think it's really better to make an effort to reconcile as soon as you can before things will get blown into unmanageable proportions. Thus, I think you should talk to your sister and be more of a friend to her. Be open-minded and be willing to listen to her. I know you can still patch things up. You know that blood is thicker than water. Good luck!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
You're right, I know that it may be a little difficult on my part to find a perfect timing. But I believe that like what you said, I should probably make the heat of the situation cool down before I approach her. It'll be hard for me to lose my best friend who understands me the most. Thank you, I'll do my best to understand the situation and also be as open-minded as I can be.
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
Most quiet person have the difficulty in expressing or showing emotions. Maybe she can't express or address what she wants to say. Try to write a letter or use other forms of communication to communicate to her. Maybe it is easier for her to talk to you in a written form.
• Philippines
1 Oct 07
I have tried posting notes and letters to her. I guess the process will be slow to know if it's effective or not. Since we are older now, I am hoping that she will also slowly open up to me. I have been advised before to listen and wait for what she has to say. Sometimes the waiting takes much longer than I anticipated. The best thing about having her read my thoughts may be helpful in NOT getting a violent reaction back. I'll probably write her when we come to this point again, although I am expecting less. I'll have my fingers crossed!
• Philippines
4 Oct 07
good luck to you. Hope you two would be ok soon
• Philippines
24 Nov 07
Hi there! Things are looking up right now and it did help trying the advices mentioned. What I learned is to know the perfect timing or perhaps the best time to confront ant discuss concerns. It doesn't really feel nice sleeping on a bad feeling especially if it lasts for a long time.