Your perfect mate

@alamode (3073)
United States
September 30, 2007 9:29pm CST
How would you describe your perfect man/woman? What are the criteria that cause you to be interested in someone? What would you do or put up with to keep them?
4 people like this
7 responses
• United States
1 Oct 07
i would say my perfect women would be some one who cares for me and who shares each and everything. Thats all i expect from her and i would do anything for her to keep her with me
4 people like this
@alamode (3073)
• United States
1 Oct 07
Thats good to hear... keep believing! Too many people start with hair color or bank balance... I've been with Hun for a total of 44 years, and caring and sharing are the biggest and best parts of our relationship. But we've cared for each other during some bad illnesses and injuries... and we've shared being poor and hungry as well as being comfortable. Keep that in mind, and I believe you will be with the person that feels the same as you! Thanks!
3 people like this
@Malyck (3430)
• Australia
1 Oct 07
Hmmm... I don't know really. Nothing 'causes' me to be interested in someone as such. I don't have a check-list that needs to be ticked off before I will 'decide' to be attracted to another. First impression and the vibe I get is the main catch. If someone doesn't give me a good vibe initially, I doubt that they will in time. As far as characteristics that I find attractive: -intelligence -humour -kindness -independence -passion -direction Someone with a good smile, deep, thoughtful and happy eyes and nice hands as well as these qualities will always win me over in friendship or romantically. As far as 'putting up' with certain behaviours, I don't think it's about that at all. Nobody is "perfect" in the sense that they can do no wrong and only things that we want. It's all about accepting differences and embracing their ways of doing things. Healthy disagreements are natural and good for a relationship. To clash every now and then is important, I believe. =D Mal.
@alamode (3073)
• United States
1 Oct 07
These are the things I was hoping and expecting to hear, and they all make perfect sense. The puzzle is, this is not what is happening for many people in real life. There are terrible abuses, anger and resentment, and pure cold hatred in so many of the relationships I have seen and heard about that it makes me wonder if, even though we have the proper criteria, people throw it out the window when a particular person comes along. Or if they settle for what they can get, instead of what they want?
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
1 Oct 07
Well, if he were my perfect mate, I wouldn't have to do anything or put up with anything to keep him. He would not do anything that would cause me to worry about that. I really just want someone I am amazingly attracted to who is also amazingly attracted to me who also has similar interests as me, who is smart, and who is honest and faithful. I want a partner to share my life with and who cares about what I have to say and who holds up his end of the conversation. Someone who I can feel happy with whether we are just watching TV or out on the town. And he should be able to put up with me and not nag me when I am busy. And he should work hard. And be tough and able to protect me. And, and, and...(I could go on and on.) Heh...I suppose I will just stick with my ALMOST perfect mate of 23 years. He puts up with me and that, in itself, is a tough gig. lol.
@alamode (3073)
• United States
1 Oct 07
If they were 'perfect', they'd probably want us to be the same!LOL! 'Almost' is a very good thing... that way it doesn't get boring! Twenty three years...you 'kids' have a good start!! Thanks for coming back on this!
1 person likes this
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
29 Oct 07
Well, nobody is perfict, but the right man for me was my husband. You see, I wrote all the things I wanted in man. Then prayed for that guy to show up in my life. I wanted someone who is kind. Loves me. Hard-working, caring. Doesn't drink. Doesn't smoke. Has some stuff in common and some values in common with me. But is different enough to be interesting. Close to my age so we have some common lifetime memories. Not controling, not violet, but isn't a chicken and won't back down from a challenge either. Someone who will be there for me. I got all that. So far, I only have to put up with his TV addiction. He's finally watching something different! The DIY long cabin and Unwrapped! Yeah!
@alamode (3073)
• United States
29 Oct 07
Ahh... closer to perfect every day!LOL! At least with the TV addiction, you don't have to worry about where he is! Good for you... to know what you want, and to find it, is nearly a miracle!
• Kuwait
24 Oct 07
The best Description that i can give to my partner is he is sencire person,he really care and love, he has one word that you can't argue with, when he say no, then it is definetely no.he say promise will definetely do it with in no time.
@alamode (3073)
• United States
24 Oct 07
Oh, yes, the big three... honesty, love and trust... if those are there, not much else matters! We've even been without money, lived in bad places, had to struggle, but we knew that with all we had going for use we'd make it. Being able to count on your partner is the most important thing in the world! Thanks!
• Philippines
24 Oct 07
Hi alamode! Ummm... I'm not an expert on this matter called relationship but I think a perfect man for me would be someone who would love me with all his heart. If he loves me more than I can love him and he can accept all about me then it would be great. I promise I'll be the right one for him. I'm not perfect but I'll do good for him. If he'll love me then I'll give him my trust, respect and i'll be faithful.
1 person likes this
@alamode (3073)
• United States
24 Oct 07
I think that's all anyone could ask for! I posted this because I saw so many very young people looking for such shallow things, and I was hoping not everyone felt that way... a person being 'cute' or 'sexy' or having money is no guarantee of happiness! Knowing what you want is the first step to getting what you want!
• Canada
27 Oct 07
Hi Alamode.. Hope you know everything is kewl with us...and hope we can continue to keep in touch by our other addresses. Anyway, I have a little breathing space today and wanted to drop by and add some perspective to your topics the way you so generously do with mine. These days all I have time for is keeping up with my 'response for every response' on my site. When I saw this discussion I think it is a very interesting one. How would I describe the 'perfect man or woman?' That is a tough one for me because I think perfection is something that has more to do with PERCEPTION rather than reality. In my view perfection sounds rather boring. If I had the perfect mate then they'd probably be so predictable that I would lose interest. Also because everyone has a unique essence that makes them who they are what might be perfect for me would drive someone else to distraction. In my view when partners always agree one of them is probably unnecessary! Being challenged by people or life keeps our minds and hearts open...sameness and having people be 'yes' people can lead to a skewed sense of self and the world. Take a look at how many Hollywood Icons end up in big trouble when no one says..."Stop...you need a course correction!!!" A perfect mate might not do that...they would say, yes dear..I love you dear...you are perfect just the way you are dear!" Eeww...kind of makes my skin crawl. I have strong beliefs and a strong personality and I like people who challenge me because they invariably help me become a better 'me' rather than staying stuck in old patterns that don't work anymore. We all need mirrors and people who care enough to point things out in loving, honoring ways may upset us...but they also help us grow and transform our sense of self when it needs to. My hubby and I have been together for over 17 years...and our relationship and circumstances in life have been (at times) hard, painful, hurtful, daunting and extremely difficult to work through. Some of his 'imperfections' and mine have facilitated our soul growth in ways that would never have happened if we were perfect human beings living in a perfect relationship. To me I base all my deeper relationships on a capacity to be open...trusting...authentic...self-accountable, honest and willing to show up and handle conflicts with emotional maturity. In those ways my husband has always met the mark. We both have made errors in judgments, said and done things we regret, hurt each other...but through it all our love has deepened and we have become better people because we love each other more than any outer circumstances that we find ourselves in. So is he perfect...no...am I perfect of course not! Are we living lives that are 'perfect' for our personal and spiritual development. You bet!!! I love him more today...but less than tomorrow because I know our love will be stronger, deeper and more expansive than it is today if the last 17 years are any indication of things to come. So my friend I like this discussion...because it made my 'thinker' work. Thanks for a chance to share my viewpoint with you on this every interesting topic. Take care, keep in touch...and hope all is well you and yours, Raia