Different opinions on kid's education and what will you do?

China
October 1, 2007 3:29am CST
I do have some different opinions on my kid's education. Just now my wife beat my her son for not doing homework seriouly. I hate this action and blamed her.However most of the time she doesn't accept my suggestion and sometimes we even have words with each other. It really bothers me. i don't want my son to grow up in an un-hamournious atmosphere. Have you ever had the same situation? What should i do? Thanks!
1 person likes this
7 responses
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
1 Oct 07
When woman is in a bad mood, angry or sort of. Sometimes we better calm down, don't add the aura more bitter by blaming her. It's not to not-shoot-it out. it's just try find the right timing, talk when her anger is not there. You can prevent this, by saving your kid, get nearby to your kid, but don't confront your wife at that time. Well, even by doing this, your wife mouth will still never stop, oh my God, it seems like she is blaming at you now. Isn't it? In fact, she is Not. When women is in anger, she even didn't know what she is talking about (But don't shoot her with this word, it's getting worst), the mouth blaming is their nature, they need that. The woman let go their stress by talking out what's inside their heart. You see why they fond of talking to their own kind. While we man love to be alone to relieve our stress. I can refer you a nice book, this book had healed my relation and my family, "Men from Mars, Women from Venus" by John Gray, Ph.D. ----------- just my 2 cents
• China
1 Oct 07
Your suggestion is so vaulable. Thanks!
@aowaow (1517)
• Indonesia
2 Oct 07
Thank you so much for choosing me as your best responder. God Bless You and Your Family.
@moxalot (100)
• United States
2 Oct 07
I hear you... I'm experiencing the same thing sort of... My little one started preschool and my husband can't seem to understand that it's ok for her to be there... He hates that she sees the teachers more than she sees him and is being awful. I don't know what to do either. Hopefully you can have a nice rational talk with your wife about when it may be appropriate to spank. Although, I really don't think that's the way to go unless it's a really awful offense. Not doing homework seriously enough doesn't seem to be one of those cases... Best Wishes and Good Luck
• China
2 Oct 07
Thanks. I will try to have a rational talk with my wife.
@kitty1234 (1476)
• United States
1 Oct 07
beating a child for homework issues is not the way to go! he will hate school and without schooling he will never be proud of himself. Your wife sounds very frustrated and may need your help to keep your son interested in school. Beating a child is never acceptable, it only breeds hatred and anger. Suggest other ways to solve this problem, in the US any use of physical force is considered abuse and the parents are jailed.
• China
2 Oct 07
I have indeed benefited from your suggestions. Thanks!
• United States
1 Oct 07
I agree. Children should be encouraged, not threatened. We home school now but the brief time she was in school she had tons of homework and hated it. Perhaps you could step in and help your son, maybe let the overstressed wife take a bubble bath or something. I think her actions are uncalled for at the very least. Try making his homework fun or rewarding him for finishing it correctly during a certain time. It could be lack of interest or lack of understanding. You seem to be very caring, I think you should offer to help him in the education department whenever you're able.
• China
1 Oct 07
Thanks a lot. I am really very caring. I will take your advice and offer to help my son in educations department whenever i am able.
1 Oct 07
Kids should be encouraged not threatened, verbally,physically or otherwise. Ask your wife how she'd feel if you used the same tactic to get her to do better at her cooking or housework or whatever. I'm sure it would just either get her back up and make her angry with you, or it would over time start crushing her confidence. Maybe he thought he had done his homework seriously, so her doing what she did will have knocked his confidence in his ability.
• China
1 Oct 07
Yes, kids should be encouraged not threatened. Thanks for your good advice and kindness. Thanks.
@eden32 (3978)
• United States
1 Oct 07
There's a difference between spanking & beating a child. If she spanked him & you don't think it was appropriate, then you need to discuss your parenting styles in private & ask her not to do so again. Or not to do so except under whatever circumstances you feel justify a spanking. If she beat/abused your child,you need to be very clear that you will not tolerate her harming your son. It's not how adults are treated when they do something wrong why should a little child be subjected to it. If she didn't agree not to do it again, and perhaps get help if this is something she does often- then I would take pictures of any bruises, take the child to the doctor & then talk to a lawyer about getting custody of the child & a divorce.
• China
1 Oct 07
Thanks. The problem is i love my wife but i don't like the way she treats our son.
• United States
6 Oct 07
You never did state whether your wife spanks your child or if your wife beats your child. How old is your son? It is never okay for anyone to beat a child whether he or she is not doing their homework or anything else for that matter. I am apalled that you are stating that your wife is beating your son and you are asking us how to deal with the situation.. From reading this discussion all the way through I am starting to think that your wife is seriously beating your son. How can you as a parent sit there and allow this to happen? Never, Never, Never! We as parents need to protect our children even if it is protecting them from the other parent... It is never okay to allow someone to beat your child. You state that you hate this action and you blamed her... I can guarantee you if my husband beat any one of our children.. it would be the highway for him with no looking back...It is not acceptable. Now if your wife spanked your child for not taking his homework seriously than that is a different matter all together.. However in my opinion is still not acceptable. You will need to sit her down and explain that he is your son to.. you will no longer accept the fact that she chooses to spank your child because he does not take his homework seriously... You then will have to set up with consequences for this behavior that you both can accept and follow through with. Of course according to age... but consequences can be as easy as no computer, no television, no friends, no phone... Or on the other hand reward good behavior with extra computer time, extra televion time extra friend time or extra phone time. It could be as simple as buying a new game for the playstation etc... Good luck... and I am praying that you meant that your wife spanks your child because my stomach is sick to think that you would allow her to beat him...I see abuse everday in my job and am coming to a point that I am just fet up with parents who cannot take care of their kids...