another letter from my daughter's teacher

Canada
October 1, 2007 6:54pm CST
my daughter is 4 and it's her first year in school. so far i've gotten one call from the teacher saying they were switching her classes cause she was talking too much with another girl and today i received the second letter saying she talks too much. i don't know what to do. i keep talking to my daughter about is but i can't really do anything about it while she's in school. i know she talks a lot and i can't seem to figure out how to solve that problem. any advice would help. thanks
6 people like this
13 responses
• Australia
2 Oct 07
I'd be talking to the teacher about the fact that she is only 4 years old, in her first year of school, give her a break! Switching her class is extreme. She needs to make friends & if they keep swtiching her class this will become difficult which will result in an unhappy child. The teacher should know what methods to use to encourage correct behaviour in the classroom such as reward charts. For instance, at my kids school they get points given for good behaviour & points taken away for incorrect behaviour which leads to being given rewards for reaching set points. Also the teacher could have just moved your daughter to another seat, not a different classroom. The fact that she talks a lot is good as it means she's not shy so will do well, so don't worry about it. Maybe just remind her at the start of each school day that she musn't talk in class. And remind the teacher she in only 4! Have some patience as she learns the school rules! If you talk to the teacher & are still not satisfied, go to the Principal.
3 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 07
while i do agree with others that this is a good time to start teaching her proper class behaivior..she IS only 4. my neice is super shy and is in kindergarten and still wont even talk to the teacher yet..so being too quite can be just as bad. and like you said...why not just switch her seating arangement?? i remember teachers doing that fairly often to kids in various classes because they just wouldnt stop talking or passing notes etc. they never went so far as to change their classes! and changing classes on a 4yr surely is extreme! shoot, if they keep doing that to her, she is gonna HATE school before she ever really gets into learning.
2 people like this
• Canada
2 Oct 07
i got the phone call the second day of school saying they were changing her classes the next day. they are very smll class sizes. 5 kids. so i see how switching seats was not an option because they sit in a circle on the floor or at a round circle table and you can't get too far away from the person your talking with when it's only 5 kids at one table. although i don't agree with the fact that it was only the second day of school. they should of given her a little more time to adgust and relax. she was excited about school and meeting new friends
1 person likes this
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
2 Oct 07
WEll first thing I would do is ask the teacher what she wants you to do about it. (As a jest,) you might offer to tape your daughter's mouth shut with duct tape (HaHa!) This might just give the Teacher Pause, Seriously tho, this is an interesting Post. Theres really nothing wrong with a 4 year old child who talks alot. This is better than a shy child who will not talk at all. I would want to talk to the teacher, just to make sure she wasn't planning to dicipline your daughter. The kid has done nothing wrong. This is the teacher's problem not the child's.
• Canada
2 Oct 07
i'm driving my daughter to school tomorrow morning cause i have to talk to the teacher about something else tomorrow so i will be bringing up the subject about the talking to see what they expect me to do.
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
2 Oct 07
I shouldn't laugh but couldn't help it when I read the duct tape part! It reminded me of my high school English teacher ( who got in trouble by the way). We had a very talkative girl in our class that couldn't seem to contain herself...she also tended to make big hand gestures while talking...she was a good student but the constant talking and waving drove the teacher nuts. One day she got out a roll of masking tape at the begining of class and as soon as the girl sat down at her desk the teacher began wrapping her in tape...both arms, her legs and around her mouth! And left her that way for the entire 42 minute class! I think the teacher thought it was a funny way to make a point but like I said she later got in big trouble over it.
2 people like this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Geez, she's 4 years old! I know and I agree that part of going to school involves learning about when it is or isn't appropriate to talk BUT it sounds like they are being a little heavy handed about it this early on in the school year. I'm sure she is still adjusting and is excited to be there. I'd just keep talking to her about it and reminding her about when it is good to be alkative and when it isn't...I mean you certainly wouldn't want her to end up fearful of EVER talking! I almost wish I had your problem though! My 4 year old started preschool too and his teachers have a hard time getting him TO talk! They are really nice about it though but I still hear about how quiet he is. I some how doubt that his hesitance to talk and participate is going to be appreciated in kindergarten next year though...but I can't help it if I have a shy child! His dad was and still is the same way...no amount of redirecting ever changed him so I doubt it will change my son or your daughter. All we can do is remind them about talking when they are supposed to and hope for the best (and for understanding teachers, which your daughter doesn't seem to have)
@darkclow (23)
• Canada
2 Oct 07
first off it does notr matter how old you are when i was 1-5 i was never ever talkive and be rude and tlak over someone esle what i would do with you daughter is watch tv and when she talk just shhh's her and also when your talking to like her brother you husband or some say thats rude and like tell her you would ground her from playing with friends or video games and tv that worked on me more or less you should train her on talking to people but keep on shh'sing her when your talking and she talks over you thats the best way my breother and family thaught me
3 people like this
• United States
2 Oct 07
Actually, preschool/kindergarden is the perfect and ideal time to teach kids when it is an isn't appropriate to talk. Your daughter's teacher is trying to teach her a valuable lesson for when she reaches first grade, when she will be expected to be quiet and focus on the person speaking for many hours a day. Maybe there needs to be some consequences for her at home. Taking away television for a few days, or something else that's relatively minor every time the teacher calls. If she realizes there are consequences, I have a feeling she will at least try to stop, which is all the teacher is really looking for, I think.
3 people like this
@Lifez2short (4969)
• United States
1 Oct 07
OK first off she is 4 years old you would think the teacher would be a bit more understanding. Now to solve this problem maybe you can take something away from her when you get these letters and phone calls. And explain to her that if she continued to talk and disrupt the class she will continue to lose toys and or privileges.
3 people like this
@Thoroughrob (11750)
• United States
2 Oct 07
I can't imagine that she talks so much in school that she has to be changing to different classes. They cannot handle that. It sounds like the school doesn't want to deal with little problems in the school. Maybe they should separate her in the classroom and keep trying to put her back with the other students a little at a time. It looks like they would have ideas. They are the ones that don't even let the kids talk in lunch anymore. How do they keep a whole cafeteria quiet?
2 people like this
2 Oct 07
I work with kids aged 4 years old and I find this mad. All 4 year old kids talk, its part of their learning and way to interact with their friends. Our kids at this age are free to access all the areas and are only made to sit down for 20 minutes at the end of the session for story where they talk and interact together and learn to take turns in listening and talking. If I were you I would ask the teacher what their routine is in class and see whether they are being made to sit for long periods of time without being allowed to talk. I woulsd ask the teacher what they do for individual targets to help the children focus for short periods of time through different activities. Maybe you could ask to sit in on one of the classes to see what happens, it is your right to know exactly what is going on. We invite parents in all the time. I think it is the teacher who cannot cope and please do not think your daughter has a problem. There is a problem when they don't talk. By the way I feel to receive phone calls instead of face to face meetings says alot about the teacher and the school. I personally would look for a new school. To make her change classes because she is talkative is outrageuos, what message are they giving your daughter...not a good one!! I wish you all the best and if you need more advise I am always willing to help. Much respect
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Looks like her teacher doesn't know how to deal with "too much talking" in the class. She is only 4 years of age and should be happy that she is even talking. Maybe she needs to be given activities that would take her mind off from talking to her friends in the class, or something like that, you know? I can't believe that they are making a big issue of this, i mean shes four and excited that she is in school. In time she will learn when to talk and when not to. Is she talkative at home too?
1 person likes this
@crazed_moma (1054)
• United States
2 Oct 07
So how'd it go with the teacher? Like every one else said she IS only 4 and yes they can expect her to behave but they need to teach her what's acceptable. It'll take time but she'll get it. :)
1 person likes this
@lightningMD (5932)
• United States
4 Oct 07
We had this problem with my step-daughter. Talking in class when the teacher was trying to talk and teach a lesson. We started a deal where the teacher sent a note home each night saying if she had behaved in class or not that day. If she did behave she got a sticker for her chart. If she brought home a bad note no sticker and no tv or treats that night. It was very long before we had stickers every night. Every time she made it a whole week we did something special on that weekend.
@sizzle3000 (3039)
• United States
4 Oct 07
Is it possible that your daughter is board in the class. Maybe she is smarter than what they are teaching. My daughter was a talker but they found that she needed more of a challenge. The other thing is that maybe you should go sit in the class room to see if it is your daughter;s problem or the teacher's problem. I know you have a lot on your plate right now. It just seems like they are sending you letters every day to solve a problem that the teacher should be able to over come. I may be wrong but they are there to teach our children and if they are not capable of doing so we need to know as soon as posible. The teacher should be in control of her class at all times and it sounds like this teacher wants you to do her job. I know that your schools are different than mine here in Maryland. I hope that you can get this problem worked out. Good luck.
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
3 Oct 07
What is the teacher doing about it? Since it's happening at school, I think the consequences should be handed out at school. Sure, I can see you talking to her and telling her that she needs to be quiet and listen during class time. However, I really think that the teacher needs to handle it for the most part.