At a loss.....

@moxalot (100)
United States
October 1, 2007 11:55pm CST
I have no idea what to do anymore..... What a beginning, huh? Anyway, I have a 2 1/2 year old little girl. She's had trouble with her speech (or none for that matter). So last year I was referred to a speech pathologist to see what was going on. Anyway, she had a 12 month olds vocabulary. I don't remember exactly what the lady called it, but she suggested peer interaction to see if that helped. We didn't qualify for early interaction since she wasn't too far behind in all 3 categories. So I found a Children's Day Out program at a local church. Well that just wasn't cutting it, so I figured I'd start her in preschool. I talked to my hubby about this at length several times. And he just ignored it saying she's only 2 (she's going to be 3 in december). So tonight she fell asleep soon after dinner. Now my hubby is really not happy... He hasn't spoken to me at all since she fell asleep (at 8:00 pm). Nothing but nasty looks... Anyway, she has really started to communicate since she started school.... Unfortunately, her dad just doesn't want to see how much it has helped her. It's so aggravating because here I am trying to do my best for our little one, so that in the not so distant future she doesn't get labeled as something she's not when she starts "real school". I guess I'm just venting... But I don't know what to do anymore... Do I just let it alone? Do I stop the school... His thing is that the people at school sees her more than he does. She's only 2. That I get to have fun with her. The thing of it is that before she started school he didn't spend time with her anyway. He was always playing computer games or doing work for the store. Yes, she'd go see him, but never any real time with her unless we left the house... Is it worth an unhappy house to have her in this school? Or do I just say to heck with all the expert advice I've gotten from doctors, etc and keep her home? What to do? What to do? This really is a quandary....
4 people like this
11 responses
• India
2 Oct 07
Hi!Everything that happens in life, happens for a purpose.Put God in front & do your actions.As for my suggestion...1)make her eat some rice which is pecked by a CROW,for we believe that the child would then talk fast.2)Analyse her habits & school whether she is getting the needful.3)Spend as much time as possible with her & study when she is responding the most & create more situations.4)Put in her mind that you are giving her your BEST & make up with some stories if her father is not able to give her time.Do not at any point of time, make her hate him.You have to compensate on his behalf too.Let me wish you ALL THE BEST for you & your daughter.GOD BLESS!! www.creatingcolourfulfuture.com
@moxalot (100)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Thank you all so much for your great comments. It's difficult being strong, when the other half of the "team" just can't seem to see what's good for our little one. It's so funny that she's only gone for a few hours a day. It's such a big hairy deal for her to not be with us 24/7... And you're probably right, the poor guy needs therapy... Not going to happen because in his family it's not cool to do that. His mom's motto is 'Oh, he'll get over it.' And his Grandmother was on Valium her whole life..... Thank you all for your kind words... My Best...
• United States
2 Oct 07
Hi there! I think your doing the best thing possible for your little girl. Being behind in speech could really hurt her when she reaches school age. This is the best time to face that problem. If he really wants more time with her you could always try to plan more family activities. Fall is one of the best times for family fun. Plan a day when you can go to one of those fruit farms where you can pick fall fruits like apples or pumpkins. Go for an afternoon or evening walk; have him pick leaves with her and decorate the house with them. Plan a day for him to take her to the park all by himself. When I was younger, my family would usually go out to eat on friday nights and then watch a movie or play a game all together afterwards. Maybe if he doesn't take to you planning more family activites there could be something else going on. Maybe he could use a little therapy ;) I hope it all works out for you!
• United States
2 Oct 07
There's a new study I just found that might interest you. Its saying that blocks are somehow linked to speech. Interesting..You can find it at yahoo in the news section..
@wotfpatty (2068)
• United States
2 Oct 07
It is clear that school is helping your daughter and your husband seems to be quite stubborn. I understand he wants to be around his daughter but she needs the interaction and it is helping her for the future. I wonder of there is more to this than he is saying? Maybe he is embarrassed that your daughter is a bit behind in her language skills. Maybe he is old school and doesn't believe in pre school or whatever. But I think you are doing the right thing for your child and perhaps you can explain like you did here to him why you feel she is better in school than out. Clearly his time with her wasn't helping her language skills so he is being a tad selfish wanting her home. I am sure he wouldn't want her to be labeled and have trouble in real school. As a mom myself, I know I would keep my child in school and try to explain to my husband why I was doing it. If he didn't like it, well, at least I would know I was doing the best I could for my child. Good luck, I hope it all works out.
@moxalot (100)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Oh my gosh... Thank you so much for your response. I really appreciate what you said... Thank you much
@writersedge (22579)
• United States
2 Oct 07
If a child does not have about a 5 thousand word vocabulary by the time s/he leaves kindergarten, the child is behind for most - if not all- of his or her life. Studies have shown this. Most preschools don't work on the weekends and most husbands don't either. So the two of them should spend some time together on his days off (if they're both off on weekends). That's the only time I ever got with my father, my dad was the one who ate and went to bed. Keep her home and do what? "She has really started to communicate since she started shcool." That says it all to me. .
@moxalot (100)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Thank you for your response.... He has an odd job, he works at the family grocery store so sometimes he works on the weekend... Thanks again...
@lightningMD (5937)
• United States
3 Oct 07
If your husband wants to spend more time with your daughter then he could be the one to transport and pick her up from school. He could also volunteer in her classroom once a week. Are you pointing out to him how much better she is doing? Are you making it sound like you were right and he was wrong? If so maybe that is what he is resenting. Maybe you guys could just drop the school conversations. Try to make special things for the two of them to do together at home. A craft project or a trip to the park. I wouldn't pull her out of school if she is really benefiting from it.
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
2 Oct 07
It is tough having 2 children to deal with, one a 2 year old and one an 'adult'. Your daughter can not speak for herself, she does not know what she needs. She depends on her parents to make the best decisions on her behalf. If your husband does not understand this, maybe he should step up to the plate be going with you and her to the doctor and specialists. Most preschools are not 7 days a week and they are over early in the day, your hubby can make time for her in the time she is not there. You have to keep her in school to help her develop, this is the most important thing in her life.
• United States
2 Oct 07
My daughter didn't speak much at that age. She was tested for everything from add to autism. It wasn't until she was 3 that we discovered she was slowly losing her hearing. I chose to keep her home and work one on one with phonics. There's plenty of electronic game boards to choose from. Maybe your daughter is just shy. I've taught many two to four year olds who just weren't ready. If you can't find a middle ground with your husband, I would try educational toys and that make learning fun.
• Philippines
2 Oct 07
The issue is that your little girls needs to interact with people. Its either school or family members. If there is no family member who can be with the child and talk to her all the time to practice her speech, then she needs to attend school. Maybe you can ask your husband to agree to give time to your daughter if he won't allow her to go to school this early. If he agrees that he'd give the child a lot of his time to practice her speech, then there's no need for school. Otherwise, you really need to convince him of the sending the little to school. I wish for the best for your little angel :)
@ctrymuziklvr (11063)
• United States
2 Oct 07
If school is helping your little girl I wouldn't take her out. I'm sure she's getting more out of it than just help with her speech. I think your husband needs to think more about the future of his little girl than of himself. Good luck.
@foxygirle (377)
• Philippines
2 Oct 07
I know how you feel about your daughter not speaking at two..... my daughter also was delayed speech, at two, she wasnt talking and was only crying and pointing to what she wants. It was really depressing and frustrating moment for us especially seeing other kids at her age verbally capable. Though my husband was supportive, we enrolled her in a speech theraphy and early intervention session, and after about 8 months, she started to talk, and now she's a very talkative girl, talking the whole time non stop. Dont give up, as a mom, its really up to us to make the right choice even if our husband is stubborn. Just keep it going with whatever class you've decided on her, the more age group she has, the more she will try to talk on her own. Also spend more time with her, reading books, watching tv and try to imitate the things that's happening around her. Talk to her often even if she is not talking back, and always have eye contact with her. Get to know what interest her and use that to have more interaction with her. Just dont stop trying, and maybe a speech theraphist can also help you out.
@MsTickle (24756)
• Australia
2 Oct 07
Does your husband do this often...? Not talk to you I mean? If he is like that then it's no wonder your little girl doesn't talk. She has no-one to tallk to. How sad for her. It's a shame the two of you cannot be more together on this. Whats the point of him not speaking to you and walking away. Tell him what you said to us here. He sounds too selfish to me.