Can you afford to let your parents die out of starvation?

United States
October 2, 2007 4:39pm CST
I know what you think, my title sound weird but it is taken from a real story and just happened last week. I called my mom in the Philippines 2 days ago and upon our talk, she mentioned that 2 of our neighbors died out of starvation. They are husband and wife, the wife died 2 days earlier than the husband. The bodies were discovered 3 days after the wife died and a day after the husband, discovered because the neighborhood smells something funny and comes from their house. When the operatives conducted an examination of the body, they have the same result; BOTH DIED IN STARVATION. The sad thing above all is that, one of the son lived in the neighborhood too. How can the son let this happen to his parents? How can he not check on his parents wherein he know his dad is in the wheelchair and they're old? The food in the Philippines is cheap, even if he will supply them with rice and give some money for viand --his parents will survive. Also if her really cares, he could at least stop by and check on his parents 3 times or twice a week. Or even everyday hence he can pass by at his parents house before he goes and after he went from work. I know, we will all die but I think this is improper. Maybe the son has his reasons, he has a family too but for God's sake, that's his parents. We can even feed a dog that its an animal, how much more our parents?! Its really sad.
6 people like this
11 responses
@gradyslady (4055)
• United States
2 Oct 07
Wow that is so horrible. That made me kind of upset where I started getting teary-eyed thinking about it happening.
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
2 Oct 07
Oh this is very sad, I don't know much about the Philippines but i have noticed in many crountries where there are people who are suffering from food shortages, and live what we call below the poverty line, some of the people who run these countries are mega rich, there seems to be a huge gap between the heads of the countries and the people. With the wealth that is in this world at the moment there should not be any hungry people at all, and I have always thought that we should fix this world up in this area before we spend mega amounts of money exploring other planets, clean up our own backyard before we go looking for other place to ruin as we have done with this planet... As for this particular situation, this is very very sad, my heart cries when I read about the non care that some people give in this world.
• United States
2 Oct 07
For me, it doesn't have to reflect with the country itself (although I know Philippines belongs to a third world country), the issue here is the son's attitude towards his parents. He should take care of them, that's his obligation. Me, even if i'm already married, I am still checking on my parents. And by the way, the son has a good job, although he is married - both of him and his wife are working and with only 1 kid. I find it so heartbreaking.
2 people like this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
2 Oct 07
Yes I agree with you, but all so common in todays selfish world....
1 person likes this
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
it is sadder still, lilaclady, if you would know that if only the son had made the neighbors aware of his parents condition, the neighbors will gladly help him out in taking care of his parents for no fee at all. it will all be up to him now if he will give some remunerations or just pay back with simple thank you's and present them with some gifts of gratitude once in a while. filipinos are very warm hearted and caring people. anyone can ask for help from somebody without necessarily any money involved all the time.
@MarieJ23 (1041)
• United States
4 Oct 07
Definitely, NOT! Like you, even if I am married already and I am very far from them, I NEVER fail to check their status everyday. As much as I can, I help them but not to the point of making them rely to me totally. I can't imagine how others can afford to eat a very good mean while their parents have NOTHING at all to feed their hungry stomach. Goosh! That is so horrible! I only have one sibbling and I am not relying much on him. I do what I can do for my parents' best interest.
1 person likes this
• United States
4 Oct 07
Amen to that sis.
@Sharon38 (1916)
• Jamaica
3 Oct 07
Boy that is really uncaring. Reasons or not - no matter what he should have made sure that his parents had enough and as you said he could check on them. Couldnt he have taken them in his care and rented the house for additional income? He is a wicked son.
• United States
4 Oct 07
Yeah, there is no reason enough to neglect the parents. The parents has their own house and supposedly the only problem would son needs to take care of is the food. But he did not.. I dunno, I hope he can sleep at night..
@tomvex (1)
• Israel
3 Oct 07
I promised myself to take care of my parents forever, no matter how bad our relationship will be. However, there are people who refuse to get help because they are too pride. I don't know how it's in the Philippines, but we can never know what their son has done in order to help them - so we can never blame him. The story is sad and i hope that if i'm in the same situation as his, i'll be able to do my best to help my family.
1 person likes this
• India
3 Oct 07
Yes it is indeed very sad when situations come to such that children for whom parents give their everything, don’t even look back once they are grown up and standing on their own feet. I don’t know about western or developed nations, but I do believe this is a problem with developing nations as here in India too, we read in the papers of old couples left to die with no children caring for them. As you said, the son might have had his own reasons, but that is no way to treat a human being. You are very correct but I think the State cannot deny its responsibility too. In most developing nations, the opportunities for growth and diversification for our children are very limited so parents take on most of the burden of establishing them with the result that they spend everything they earn on a child’s education and development without thinking or saving for their own future. You see the choices are so limited and having a lucrative career (hence a good lifestyle) is so important, that most middle-income parents end up spending their entire earnings on a son / daughter’s future. Then they expect that same child to take care of them, which might not be possible always. And herein where the State should step in but it does not. If a parent is spending his/her entire earning on bringing up a child, s/he is giving a worthy citizen to the nation too for which it should be the responsibility of the nation to look after that parent in the old age. But this does not happen in nations like ours. Our parents spend their lives looking after us, we look after them and also our children (in the process we hardly have any money left to look after us), then again we expect our children to look after us and their own family and the cycle goes on. As it is, we are paying enough taxes already but most of it goes to fill the coffers of our corrupt political parties. It would not hurt us much more if we had to shell out a few extra notes in order to get some sort of social security for the aged.
1 person likes this
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
3 Oct 07
This is such a sad event! I am sorry to hear of this. How can a son who lives so close let this happen to his own parents? It is shameful that a son would allow this to happen to his parents, to die hungry! Oh, that is awful. My daughter even now at 13 says she will always make sure I am ok, she even says I can live with her when she becomes rich hahaha! I know she dreams, but she is so very sweet to think of me that way. It is unthinkable that a child would allow his parents to fall away like this. Very sad, very sad indeed.
1 person likes this
• Malaysia
5 Oct 07
Wow, this is really a sad story. I couldn't imagine how come the son doesn't have the heart to at least go and check his parents just to make sure they are alright. If I am so poor I will try to give them at least rice to eat. I will never treat my parents like that, it is very cruel to do that to parents. Unless the son has a mental problem, that is understandable. Maybe the son is having that?
• United States
6 Oct 07
The son is heartless, probably they have misunderstanding but then its not a reason to not check on parents, no matter what its always be the parents. They are not that poor, the guy is working in the airport. U made me laugh on the mental problem :)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
it is so difficult to believe that this is a true story indeed. here in the philippines, neighbors will usually be taking care of old folks even they have no relationship by blood with them. there are so many cases in davao city whereby the neighbors took care of a disabled neighbor or old folks with no relatives to count on. as for this case in particular, the neighbors must have been thinking that the son is taking care of his parents. thus, no one even bothered to take a peep at those old folks. if only the son had talked to the neighbor of his parents and had provided some provisions for his parents this couldn't have happened at all.
• United States
4 Oct 07
OMG how sad is that! I could not imagine not being there to check on my parents and to let them starve..I have to talk or see my mom everyday and even my grandma..My day is not right enless I talk or see them...And if I knew they didn't have food or was low on food I would give them money or go buy them food and take it to them if they wanted me to or not...My family comes first before anything else!
• United States
4 Oct 07
Me too, cause after all they will always be our parents.
• United States
30 Apr 08
That situation sounds really bad. However, we do not know precisely the exact circumstances of that situation. We do not know the relationship between the son and the parents, or if the son was suffering from stress economically himself. How many people was his wage attempting to feed? If this family has American relations, the American relatives could also be suffering from financial issues as we just had the housing bubble burst, and the Americans may not be able to send money home anymore. * The Philippines is undergoing a rice price shock, and while food there is relatively cheap from an American point of view, from the point of view from the poor over there, it is not cheap at all. * Information on Philippine rice price shock * http://www.journal.com.ph/index.php?issue=2008-04-29&sec=4&aid=57785 * As an American on a small fixed income, I too am seeing prices rise. In America, it is not anywhere near as bad as those poor in third world countries, but getting by is getting a bit tricky. * In America sadly, parent neglect is common. It is not a problem of food or price. In the past, it was common for multiple generations of families to live in the same city or often in the same home. Now we are flung to the four corners of the country or planet. Parents are regulated to nursing homes when unable to attend to their full needs and left unvisited. Sometimes they are abused.