Does History Repeats Itself When It comes to Love?

@svelte (132)
Philippines
October 4, 2007 8:23am CST
This question has been bothering me for sometime now. I have friends who get pregnant at a young age and it turn out that their mothers had the same experience at their time. I have relatives who fall in love and marry at a young age, and it turned out so were their parents. I have friends and relatives who are separated and are living their own lives, and it turned out this also happened to their parents. Does it always follow that our parents' actions in the past would repeat itself to their children?
2 people like this
10 responses
@missybal (4492)
• United States
5 Oct 07
My mother go pregnant with me when she was only 15 years old. I am 25 now and have been married to my husband for 2 years now and still haven't had a child. Knowing that my mother and I grew up at about the same time (not the same age) was enough for me to say I was going to be real careful not to be like her. My husband's mother had him when she was 20 and married his father when she was 18. My mother married my father when she was 17 so both our mother's married young. My husband and I were together since I was 18 and we didn't get married until I was nearly 23. My husband's parents are divorced (a very ugly divorce too) and my parents are still together, and I think happier then when I was a kid. so far I think I'll keep my husband and I really don't see it getting ugly if we do get a divorce. We are both level headed and plan everything out and discuss everything and we were friends first, so I got high hopes. So far we have not followed in our parents footsteps and I hope we never do, but who knows really. I do believe that the way you were brought up does affect your future. My husband is very worried about divorce and has said many times that he worries we will grow apart like his parents did. They were married 18 years and his mother just flipped out. Every time we have an arguement he seems to think it could be the end of our relationship and for me it really puts a strain on our relationship for him to think that way. My parents fight all the time, but I think that's just their way.
1 person likes this
4 Oct 07
Well, I think this is a very good question, but I'm going to have to say no! My Mother was in a relationship with a sailor who left her when she was 4 months pregnant with me. They were never married and my Mum was only 19! I felt awful growing up without my Father and it seemed that my Mum resented me for having the life she never had. I'm now 21 and I live in Germany with my husband and I have absolutely no intentions of having children at any time soon. My Mother has since had another child with my Step-Dad and they are now seperated in the process of getting divorced. My Mother's experiences have shown me a way of life that I didn't want to follow. I may have made similar mistakes as her when it comes to life, but I'm pretty sure not in love. I've tried to learn by her mistakes the best I can. In response to the question, I think History is what you make it. Only you can determine your own life, and the path's you want to follow, especially in love.
@svelte (132)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
I agree, I think parents who have undergone this type of phase in their lives may turn out to be either too strict or too liberal to their kids. Either way, influences play a huge part in the live of their children. Thus, it is only the children who can decide what or how they would face life when given a chance in love, marriage and bearing children.
• Philippines
14 Jan 09
i believe it's a curse to the family...because i had also a friend who had gone through this situation and it always repeats to her cousins and relative. they thought it's because of their grand parents who first do it (marry @ the very young age,get pregnant and separated).. the only solution to that situation is prayer because i do believe that if the faith you have with God and you pray for it you will overcome with it. prayer is the best answer to it.
• Lubbock, Texas
5 May 08
A lot of young people who follow in their parents footsteps do so because the parents are so adamant that their children aren't going to be like them so they hammer away at them, restrict them, do everything they can think of to do to keep them from being like the parents, and it makes the young people more determined to do what they want to do at that moment. On the other hand, young people see how their parents live, take it as normal and follow suite.
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
if you look into the Bible, in the ten commandments, in Deuteronomy 5:9-10 (KJV/NKJV), it says there that God "visits the iniquities" of the fathers to the childre up to the third and fourth generations of those who are not reconciled to him. simply put, God allows a cycle of sin within those four generations. only reconciliation to Him breaks down that bondage.
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
Repeat? As one thing that happens in your relationship would happen in your kids? Well, I dont think so... We are capable to decide for ourselves and we cannot take the responsibility for others life because they are the one making decision for themselves. I believe that its their choice if they have same fate.
@phayeth (519)
• Philippines
8 Oct 07
sometimes.. but in my case i always avoid to repeat it self.. but if i don't have a choice but to confront it.. i will face it even how its hard to accept.
• United States
5 Oct 07
No history doesn't have to repeat itself. But there is a simple reason why it usually does.Your family is what you are used to so if you see your mom was young when she married, you may marry at a young age too. If your parents don't live together,you may separate from your partner too.There are good things tha are repeated like if you see your parents really love each other and they are really a partnership, you will want to have that when you grow up.Unfortunately, bad behavior is learned too. If your parents are abusive toward you or each other, you may grow up and feel that is what happens.But you don't have to repeat history as long as you study your family history.
@gesell03 (173)
• Philippines
5 Oct 07
the mother is a huge factor for what could happen to her child, but the answer is no history does not repeat itself , nothing is ever repeated , every one is another person and event, and its truly dependent upon ones choices.
• Philippines
4 Oct 07
It might be gene related if you put it in that way. I also know someoe who got pregnant at a young age and it also turned out that her mother also got pregnant early. We also need to put into consideration how the person was raised. Like you mentioned about people who separated who also have separated parents. This might have resulted because their parents has greatly influeced their perception of marriage and might have made them inadventfully more prone to divorce.