How can you know that you love someone truely?

Indonesia
October 5, 2007 1:37pm CST
This is bothering my mind, even though we love someone, but there's no proof wether we really love him/her. How can we tell wether we really love him/her truely or not? Some people says we could know that with time, the more we spend with him/her, the more we know. But I've seen many couples break down after being together many years, even anyone who has been married for 20 years (or more) can divorce. Sometimes I think, why if I don't really love him? And when I asked my friend, he/she also have the same feeling. Is there any way to know my true feeling?
3 people like this
10 responses
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
6 Oct 07
Oh yes you can tell when its love when you constantly thinking of this person day and night. And all want to do is talk to them and see them all the time.LOL And also kissing them and touching them are alot of fun too!LOL Enjoy!
@andrejuly84 (1047)
• Romania
6 Oct 07
well,that's one of the grewat question that we can ask ourselves,is hard to have a right answer,and never will know if it i sreally the right answer cause that's the human nature i guess,to wonder and wonder,to doubt.i put this question very often to myself when i am alone with my thoughts,but i guess you can't know exactly when u love but you can feel that you love cause you can't understand love with your mind just only with your heart
• Romania
6 Oct 07
We can see if we trully love someone by making a break with that person ....a break of about one or two weeks...and in that time we realise how much we miss him/her...and is we miss him/her a lot than it means we trully love him/her.....and if we can live without that person....if it can take one day without thinking of him/her ...if we can be ourselfes without having him/her around....it means we dont really love him/her...nice discussion anyway.
@stella1989 (2274)
• India
6 Oct 07
The first time I came to know that I am in love was the fact that I used to think about that person al the time. No matter he is seven seas apart from me I always found him next to me. I was always ever ready to sacrifice things for him without even knowing about it. The feeling of togetherness made me felt that I am in love. Whenever the topic comes over him...my heart beats used to rise high..lol And one special feel unexpalinable ..was always there whenever I used to chat with him. I always used to go numb whenever he called me. lol Well love is very complex feeling that can never be expalined in words.but still some even expalined it in one word..!! That is love when you always think about him first..even before yourself..!! :)
• China
6 Oct 07
Many people said that the most complex thing is heart of human.if you love him now,if you want to get married with him now,that is enough.love,we need it,we want to enjoy it,we like it's course,get married is it's result.yes,many people married 20 years can divorce,but how do u know that will happen in your family?don't think about it.cherish now,yes,love your lover now,that is enough.
• China
6 Oct 07
Sometimes,it also bothers my mind .And many of my friends have asked me such question . I think ,if you really love someone,you will be happy when you see him/her , you miss him/her so much .You care about the way he/she treat you ,you care about his/her feelings about you . You really do not want to hurt him/her . And if you really love someone,you do not hesitate to be together with him/her.You will foregive him/her if he/she did something wrong. Also,if you love someone,you would like to improve yourself,you like things he/she likes ,and sometimes you can accept his/her shorterns . Thoses are my opinion,I would like you give more idea about this topic.
@tamanash (950)
• India
5 Oct 07
first at start of any relation its very difficult to find whether its love or lust.just give some time to your relation and its that feeling still persist than its love.and just ask yourself what you can do for your loved one.hopefully you will find your answer whether you love him or its just a mere feeling or atraction.whether you can sacrifice him/her for his/her happines?by asking this question i find to myself i found that i am in love with someone.
@ibsnet (1268)
• India
5 Oct 07
Love is such a feeling which can't be measured physically. If you love someone then your feeling says that and if you see the reciprocal feeling in your partner then there is obviously love. In love both partners can't stay a day without just seeing each other. Break of love marriage is common but not for all. When there is true love between partners and the strength of love is very strong. A strong love relation never breaks.
@ailema4ever (2668)
• Finland
5 Oct 07
The problem is, marriage and relationships are HARD WORK. Feelings fluctuate and after living with someone for years and years, you might feel that you no longer love that person and his/her annoying habits become magnified as you live day in and day out with that person. That's why you need commitment. And plus, people change. That's why effective communication is needed in a relationship. If two people change and they go their separate ways and they don't keep on trying to form a bond, then they'll feel the gap becoming wider and wider...this is one reason why people get a divorce. How do you know you love someone? Well, if the heart says so, then it means you love that person. Basically speaking, I think if you truly love someone, then you think of his/her best interest FIRST before your own. You'd want the best things in life for him/her and you want to be the one that makes him/happy, too. You don't want him/her to get hurt and you want to spend the rest of your life with him/her. When you are in love, everything seems so nice and wonderful and you don't need to force yourself to be committed to that person 'coz you're on cloud number 9 - it's so easy to love that person. However, once you pass a few years' time, especially after you get married and you experience some marriage problems (financial problems, kids, career, etc.), then love means HARD WORK. After the initial attraction passes by, love means not relying on your feelings, but having the determination to make your relationship work no matter what. That means whenever there's a problem then you need to talk things through with your partner. That also means disregarding your ego for the sake of making things work between the two of you. Sometimes it's not easy to do, esp. when you think the other person's done something wrong, but if nobody tries to fix things, then the relationship will suffer and it'll die. A relationship is like a plant. If you leave it without fertilizer, then it'll die.
• Philippines
6 Oct 07
I consider this question one if the most difficult to answer. It's fun when you have just fallen in love but staying in love needs much work! It's like being here in myLot (LoL). WE need to complement each other. Have more understanding towards one another and have trust. Time could be a very big factor but that is not the sole mover in the relationship. It takes two to Tango so both person in the relationship should work, not just one.