disciplining a two-year old

@milkfish (377)
Philippines
October 12, 2007 1:04am CST
I have a two-year old girl who sometimes can be very naughty. One time, she went up the stairs to our second floor, 7-steps stairs. I have been advising her since time immemorial never to go up alone because its dangerous, she might fall and break her neck etc. The next minute she did it again. Because of fright (she's still on the stairs when i saw her) and impatience, I scolded her, got my slippers and hit her feet. I'm sure the impact wasn't really that hard because she didn't really cry hard. But afterwards, I feel so guilty that I did it to her. II really feel so bad as a mother. How am I supposed to handle it? Is she too young to be disciplined? What's the best way to deal with disciplining a toddler without being too strict? I'm a first time mom and I would really appreciate your thoughts on this. Thanks in advance.
3 people like this
10 responses
@barehugs (8992)
• Canada
12 Oct 07
When you are 2 years old, theres very little difference between being naughty, and learning where things are and how they work. At this time in her life shes very busy learning. Its not very productive for her when she is confined. However she must be very closely monitored to be sure she is kept safe and healthy. She's a precious little bundle of Joy, and Of course you feel bad when you have to have to disipline her to keep her safe. However that are usually alternatives you can use instead of a hurt, either to her feelings or to her bum. Try rewarding her when she obeys your wishes. Kids respond to rewards very well. I would not hit her or scare her no matter what she did. There are always Alternatives to disapline!
@biwasaki (1745)
• United States
12 Oct 07
Rest assured that your daughter is behaving like a normal 2-year-old. I've gone through the "Terrible Two's" twice, with a third time coming up soon! I don't think you overreacted by spanking her feet with your slippers. You were just trying to get the point across that going up the stairs is bad. I think a better way for you to enforce that, and to have some peace of mind, is to install a baby gate at the bottom of the stairs. I've learned that 2-year-olds really do have minds of their own (mine did anyway). Rather than scolding them every single time they did something naughty, I would try to redirect their attention to something else if possible. If all else fails, a time out can work wonders. Every child is different, and will react to discipline in different ways. You just have to try different methods and see what works on your daughter. Good luck!
@magnel (2263)
• India
12 Oct 07
I don't think being hard on kids really helps, what will really make the difference is to explain them how it is going to be dangerous or make them believe that there is something frightening to do the things that they should not do.
@magnel (2263)
• India
14 Oct 07
thats what makes handling the kids more difficult.
@nadezna (204)
• Philippines
13 Oct 07
sometimes toddler makes great tantrums when you scolded or spank them the best way to discipline them is to understand what they really want most toddler want attention.. And they really want to explore everything you have to be cautious to everything because they always hurt them self frequently always be preventive and always keep your eyes on them because giving them attention make a child to listen on what you said be always calm.
@cjthedog64 (1554)
• United States
13 Oct 07
My son is 22 months and does the exact same thing. I don't usually block off the stairs because it isn't often that he makes a run for it. Usually just when he's tired and wants to take his nap. He KNOWS he's not allowed to play on the stairs, but he also likes the "game" of having me chase him and bring him back down. Our floor at the bottom of those 7 steps is ceramic tile and is super hard. That's what scares me with him climbing. What we do is work with him on climbing up and down correctly and safely. He crawls up, and sits and bumps down. It's a habit for him, and he's good at it. I'm really not worried about his skill anymore, but I don't like to have him running all over the house where I can't see him. I recommend practicing the stairs with him, when you go up and down. Keep harping that she doesn't go by herself, but has to go with someone. Eventually she'll figure it out, and you'll be more comfortable with her skills.
• United States
12 Oct 07
Hello Milkfish, I am a stay at home mom of two boys and I watch 5 more boys. All under 5 years. Two of them are 2 and two of them are 3. I let them walk up and down my steps all the time. When they first started learning I would walk up behind them. Once I felt they could do It I would stand a few steps down and watch them. And then a few more till your at the bottom and there at the top. Once they can do it they will more than likely be able to do it with out getting hurt. Make sure to show them how to hold on to the railing as well. My kids go up and down steps all the time. You cant teach her its bad to go upstairs because you have to go upstairs for things in your room or for the bathroom. Just be patient and alow her to go up with you right there. Eventually she will be a pro!! Of course accidents do happen so try to watch her even if she knows how to do it.
@sophylline (1042)
• Philippines
12 Oct 07
I sympathize with you. I too have a toddler who will be turning two years old in a few months. Sometimes, they will get the best of us. I also can relate that at times I feel guilty after what I have done. But we learn from these things. At this stage diverting his or her attention is the key I think for the type of dicipline to give. What is more important though, is having gates put up. The top and bottom stairs should have them. We have them installed at the bootom and top of our stairs even before my daughter could walk. I think that is the first and foremost you should act on.
@magnel (2263)
• India
12 Oct 07
Kids - Kids are always very naughty and very cute.
I don't think being hard on kids really helps, what will really make the difference is to explain them how it is going to be dangerous or make them believe that there is something frightening to do the things that they should not do.
@azimsay (546)
• India
12 Oct 07
Two three years old child can not fallow our move ment and talking .They are very moody they wii not obay our order.
@foxygirle (377)
• Philippines
12 Oct 07
two year old is really a challenging time for any parents. its as if your child just look at you with a blacnk stare and ignore whatever command you give them. It's really very frustrating and at times you just want to hit your child since they ignore your instructions most of the time. One thing i noticed that when you give a command and they ignore it and then got hurt, they (though some) will stop doing it. Like when the time my daughter was two, most of the time I told her NO and she did not listen and got hurt, she stop doing it eventually. Which i thank God she didnt go into any serious injuries. Though still I observe other children that no matter how hurt they got,they still repeating it anyway. so it will be a child-to-child basis. Be patient. Eventually she will grow up and listen to you.