is it okay to choose friends for our children?

@jcyap888 (721)
Philippines
October 12, 2007 4:21am CST
how can we lessen negative peers pressure? is it okay to choose friends for our children?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@SViswan (12071)
• India
17 Oct 07
Actually, I feel it's not okay. they are bound to rebel and choose all the wrong friends just to get back (unless you are lucky and have a very god child). What you can teach them is the righ qualities and how to stand up for what is right and how to choose the right kind of friends.
@THKOhio (330)
• United States
16 Oct 07
I have never chosen friends for any of my children. There have been some children they were friendly with that I had doubts about,which I think happens to most parents. In those cases, I made sure that they spent more time at our house than anywhere else, so I could keep an eye on things. I would point out things in their behavior that didn't match our standards, beliefs, values, etc. (not in the presence of that child, just with my own child). Over time, my child would come to realize the other child was not a good choice for a friend, and move on.
• Philippines
13 Oct 07
I think if its in your neighborhood, you can choose a friend for them. But in school you are not in control, unless you will advice their teacher. I think it is okay to choose someone that you found familiar with your childs attitude, similar with they wanted to do, so that they will enjoy each others company.and it is okay also to allow them to choose their friends but if they will bring no good to your child but your child enjoy hanging out with them, just keep an eye on them so you can study each attitude.
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
13 Oct 07
I have let my daughter choose her own friends. Anytime I tried to make friends for her, it didn't turn out very well. She has a mind of her own and a character of her own, so anyone I would choose will not be suitable for her probably. Not to mention if you push your child to do something he/she is not willing to do, it will be disastrous whether you will know it or not.
• Philippines
13 Oct 07
Hello jcyap888. I think even if we want to, we cannot choose friends for our children. Because often, they are out there by themselves, like in school where we cannot often see who they are with. What we can only do is monitor them. We can only talk to them and encourage what we think is best people for them. But in the end, it is all their decision about who they would want to belong to.
@Mirita (2668)
• United States
12 Oct 07
No, I think you need to teach kids good values and allow them to choose their own friends. They may see that as an imposition on your part.
@goodsign (2287)
• Malaysia
12 Oct 07
To exigous the negative peers pressure is to have common communication language with the other involved party. Friendship guideline should be given to our children. Accepting advantages must be more than disadvantages from that particular friendship is the decision making. `
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
12 Oct 07
no, i dont do that. i have four kids and i let them pick or choose their own friends but i talk to them to know their friends well. so far all the friends of my children are my friends too.