Healing Conversations

Old Girlfriends - Old women just enjoying the day and each other
United States
October 16, 2007 12:02pm CST
Just moments ago I was blessed. I was blessed with something I thought would never happen again and I want to share it with my friends here. Almost 5 years ago I moved from a 7 room, 3-bedroom, 2 bathroom, full basement house; into a 4 room apartment with just 1 bedroom and a space under the basement stairs for storage. As you can imagine, I had to condense quite a bit of my life. The woman that owns the house lives in the rest of this huge Victorian home with her adult daughter. Her previous lover had also lived here but had moved out. When we moved in, her lover told me that we would have to end our friendship because it was too difficult for her to remain my friend. I was so hurt because we had been so close. We were more than friends. We had at one time worked together, we had shared very private conversations with each other that demanded total trust. We were Sister~Friends. I did try to call her a few times but the conversations always came back to what the woman that owns the house was doing and it was more of a "gossip" chat than a sharing chat. Today, after all this time, she called me. She said that she had done some heavy thinking and realized that she had been blaming me and trying to forgive me for betraying her and was unable to do so. Then, all of a sudden, in her deep thinking, she realized that she had betrayed me and was calling to ask if I could forgive her and would I ever consider having her as a friend again or not. All I could do was laugh. We are both in our 50s and not children. Of course we can be friends. Love isn't static, it flows; sometimes it flows over rocks and splits but there is always the possibility that it can once again merge. I am so happy to have my friend back in my life again.
6 people like this
11 responses
• United States
17 Oct 07
That's an amazing story. Usually one party or the other will be holding a grudge or have an attitude over something like this. You have a very open mind, and must be a wonderful person. It is good that you are again happy.
• United States
17 Oct 07
Oh, my, no! I don't think of myself as a wonderful person at all. Can you imagine how much courage it took her to realize that after all the years that had passed by with her being angry with me; only to come to the conclusion that she was the one to have really ended the relationship; and then picking up the telephone and making the call to me to ask me to forgive her? She is the one with guts, strength, humility, and love. I guess I do know how to pick my friends.
• United States
17 Oct 07
YOU didn't hold the grudge or have an attitude with her. YOU're the amazing person! You accepted her back, after she let you down...Yes, you are wonderful!
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Oct 07
Compliments have always been difficult for me. Thank You.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
17 Oct 07
Well hello,it is so nice to hear from you again,you have not been on in quite a while...As far as your discussion i think it was very sweet and understanding of you to forgive your friend ,thats what friends are far...I have a friend that is something like your friend,they get out od sorts over "whatever" and you never know why,and once they come to terms with their behavior they are back trying to get back in good with you...Thats what my friend did to me ,and yes it does hurt but i always forgive as you did.I just figure they are having problems...The friend i have will be nice as can be and Bingo all of a sudden "shes hurt" well usually it boils down to jealousy,and then they get over it...I always forgive because i am a good friend,and i can see you are too..I see no reason to hold bad feelings with people who act this way...You never know when she might just get that way again...The friend that has done this to me has done it to her other friends and they was not forgiving and some people if they do you like that won't have anything else to do with that person...It just goes to show you are a better friend to her than she is to you,maybe she suddenly realized that..I think it was very gracious of you to put it behind you, because she is the one with the problem...Pretty soon you will get use to her mood swings and it won't bother you..
• United States
18 Oct 07
Gwen Stefani - The Sweet Escape - Gwen Stefani
For the first year I was hurt and angry, then made my way through all of the prescribed stages of grief and came to the acceptance that she and I were never going to be friends again. Since I had put her away and out of my life, it was not hard at all to let her back in; quite the opposite, it was more like a gift being given to me. The funniest thing of the entire story is that I have a Gwen Stefani ringback on my phone. It is the one with a lot of whoo hoos/yee haaas on it (The Secret Escape). The fact that I actually broke down and spent money for a ringback freaks everyone out and when I did it I didn't tell anyone about it. All of my daughters, my close friends, and my significant other hung up after dialing the number and getting the song. They then redialed right afterwards and each of them said, "What the he!!" They all love it though and say it really makes them happy to listen to it. When my long lost friend called yesterday, she did the same thing. I found that quite amusing.
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
18 Oct 07
you were probably amazed too at yourself for getting that ringtone..Lol...I would have never paid for a ringtone but i did like you and got the ringtone "Im a redneck woman ain't no high class broad"people told me i can't believe you did that haha..but we can surprise ourselves sometimes...I am glad you got your friend back though,i know how you have felt because i had a friend do me that way,she's back into my life now,guess i will never know why she took off in the first place but oh well I took her back,and im ok with it.Good luck
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
16 Oct 07
From one "Ole Battle Axe", to another. I am so happy for you. I would be lost without my bestest friend. I one time responded to a discussion about soul mates. It got me to thinking, friends can be soul mates too. We tend to think of soul mates as spouses, boyfriends, life partners, etc. I have a friend who is my soul mate friend. I think we are truly blessed if we go thru life and have at least one "soul mate friend". We had a few years in our lives that we lost contact with each other. Married with children sort of took over our lives. Then when we got back in touch it was like we never lost touch, we still knew we were the bestest of friends. We also found out that was a time in our lives that we needed each other so much and we didn't want to bother each other. We made a vow that we would not let that happen again. So far we are sticking to it. A few months ago I went and stayed with her for a week. We had the best time, while her husband was working. She lives in the country, and with gas prices the way they are, it was just easier to hang out at her house instead of coming home. One day we sat on her porch, swinging on a swing. We had a kareoke machine in front of us, a fan blowing on us. Sitting next to us was a bottle of Ronrico Rum, we were "super stars". It was so much fun. At first we were sort of quiet, not for long. We were belting the songs out. We laughed so much that day. I wish you many good days with your friend.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Oct 07
More Happy Old Broads - Who says we can't have fun?
Polly, You have just painted such a beautiful picture and thank you for sharing it. I hope you copy and paste this discussion and mail it to her.~D (you really don't need the karioke machine, a hairbrush and a wooden spoon work just fine in an emergency!)
@Polly1 (12648)
• United States
17 Oct 07
She knows how I feel, she feels the same way. We have talked about us being soul mate friends. Even her husband and kids love me. He tells her I am her real friend. We both feel so blessed to be able to have found each other. Here is something even funnier. I met her thru my ex boyfriend who happened to be her boy friend. (Not the guy who is her husband, thats a different guy). Our "mutual friend" just knew we had to meet, I stayed friends with him after our romance. He had told her, he wanted her to meet me. She had thought to herself, why would I want to meet your ex girlfriend. We instantly became friends, that was about 24 yrs. ago.
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
16 Oct 07
That's beautiful, Donna, I'm so happy for you! =) I have a few friends right now that I've been out of touch with for about a year or so, and this is giving me hope. In fact, I'm considering calling one of them sometime in the next couple of days, just to see what happens. Thanks for sharing your wonderful news, and offering hope for the rest of us with those friendships that just hit a rocky patch! =)
1 person likes this
• United States
16 Oct 07
Oct. Breast Health Aware Month - Pink Ribbons for Breast Cancer Awareness Month
Thank you! I love the new avatar! Are you looking pensive or confused? Let me know what happens when you make the phone call.~D
1 person likes this
@lecanis (16664)
• Murfreesboro, Tennessee
17 Oct 07
Pensive, I think. =) I'll be sure to let you know! I have a lot going on with doctors and trying to figure out work stuff at the moment, so I'm going to wait until some of that is figured out.
1 person likes this
• India
17 Oct 07
yes, it does feel blessed to have a valued friend back in life specially is there is some misunderstanding between the two of you and you can do nothing about it, except for feeling bad. Such situations happen in everybody's life when you are misunderstood for no fault of yours, you are dragged into controversies by somebody else and your friend is cross with you. then when the clouds of doubt clear out, you feel all the more blessed coz its like a load off your chest.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Oct 07
You said that very well, and I appreciate your response. Thank you.
@runsgame (2032)
• India
17 Oct 07
vow . wht a great moments. at last you have got back your nice friend and i am really proud and happy to note the same . let your friendship continue for ever and all the best to you
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Oct 07
Thank you for your response. It is a wonderful feeling to know that we can just "pick up from where we left off" and move forward.
@pyewacket (44032)
• United States
17 Oct 07
What a wonderful story kitchenwitch...I think all friendships the really good ones go through this rather "stupid" periods...and yes, they can be completely dumb...and sometimes the stronger and closer the friendship the more it hurts when there is a misunderstanding or hurt or finger pointing....ah, but isn't it grand when things get patched up over some misunderstanding? Glad your friend is back... ;)
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Oct 07
Still More Oldl Girlfriends - Ain't they grand?
Thank you for your response. It is great to know that in some cases time does really heal old wounds.
@reinydawn (11649)
• United States
25 Oct 07
AWESOME!!! It's so great to have friendships back!!! There have been times when I've lost touch with someone and it's nice to get back together with them.
• United States
31 Oct 07
It is nice. I think that maybe I will go to her house and spend some time with her on Saturday. I haven't yet called her to tell her that yet, so if I chicken out there won't be any hurt feelings; but I am thinking about it. ~D
• United States
24 Oct 07
So happy that you are once again like peas and carrots. Had to quote a little Forrest Gump. Friendships come and go, but those that withstand the test of time remain with us forever. Sometimes we have to go through a little turbulence and realize what is most important. Big huggers to you.
• United States
31 Oct 07
Oh, I'm so happy you didn't tell me that life is like a box of chocolates! Thanks for jumping in here. I have missed you. ~D
@villageanne (8554)
• United States
15 Nov 07
That is wonderful. Isn't it funny how we let little things keep us from enjoying others as much as we could if we just forgave and moved on? I am glad you have your friend back. :)
@salam1 (1475)
• Malaysia
11 Nov 07
this is not about your discussion but i have to ask. do you know what is the reflexy point for hair? if a person has hair loss problem, what is the reflexology point for it? thanks.