Will a couple be happy if they do not have any kids?

China
October 17, 2007 9:56pm CST
My best friend and her husband have been married for almost 10 years and they live a happy life. For an unknown reason, they do not have any kids. They have seen doctor and both of them are quite healthy, but my friend has never had a kid, besides, she refuses a test-tube baby, she and her husband just leave it to chance. I wonder if a couple can always be happy if they do not have any kids?
7 people like this
26 responses
@jhoanee (599)
• Philippines
19 Oct 07
its really hard to say yes or no with that situation, coz it was definitely on each one of us where we will be happy. personally i dont like to married without having kid/s, coz i believe in order to have a so called family there should be a mother, father and children. but we cant deny the fact that there are still married couple who to this days stays happy without having kids and also there are couple who separate ways coz of not having any child at all. i guess it was our individual situation which way we will be happy and its a personally choice.
• China
19 Oct 07
But I seldom see a couple divorced just because they have no kids. Usually couples divorce each other for other reaons.
@jhoanee (599)
• Philippines
20 Oct 07
definitely thats what i believe inorder to have a so called "family". im not saying others opinion, if people say that they are complete as a family with a mother, father and 2 dogs then i respect that. its a personal choice though so its up to us what we want or like to part of the family. what matter is who we are with now is the one we love the most and that is our family.have a nice day!!!!
• India
18 Oct 07
The meaning of a family and married life is to have children and live for them and their well being.But if the couple has a problem in the conception then probably they have to live for themselves and be content with it.
• China
19 Oct 07
From another point of view, it is also okay no matter childless or childfree. To have children and bring them up is not the only meaning of one's life.
• India
21 Oct 07
You totally miscued the meaning of the word 'family' I used.I was talking about nuclear families which do not involve blood relatives but just the husband ,wife and kids.This discussion was of couples and having kids or not.So why drag in the blood relatives to complete a family.It is a joint family which has blood relatives in it. And today joint family is rare but three generation families are there.And if marriage is not about having kids(leaving those who cant conceive) and living together,then what is? If you want some one to love,care and share your sorrow and happiness just have a 'friend'.
@ailema4ever (2675)
• Finland
18 Oct 07
Yes, they can. My cousin have been married for more than 20 years and they have no kids. As far as I can see, they ARE happy. Even though they have no kids of their own, they can play with their siblings' kids and help them out.
• China
19 Oct 07
So they can also obtain happiness from kids. Besides, they contribute their kindness by helping them out.
• Finland
19 Oct 07
Yes, that's true. ;-D
@talisman (1308)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Of course a couple can be happy without having any children. You don't need to have kids to be happy in life or in a relationship. If you feel that you need kids to be happy, you're the kind of person who SHOULDN'T have kids because that's definately a horrible reason to bring a new life into this world. You can't plan your life out because the inexpected always happens. You have to learn to be happy with what you have. Many couples choose not to have children. Does that mean they're unhappy? Of course not! Whether or not you have kids does not determine whether or not you're happy in life. If everyone had to have kids in order to be happy, this world would be filled with many more unhappy people and many more children with horrible parents. If having children was what determined happiness than there wouldn't be so many single parents whose partners ran out of them due to pregnancy and there wouldn't be abortions. Not everyone is cut out to be a parent or even desires to be one in the first place, but they can always be happy.
• United States
18 Oct 07
I'm perfectly content to not have children. I'm in my early thirties and have been married for nearly a year and a half. If it happens, it happens. If not, that's ok too.
• China
19 Oct 07
I think you are very convincing. Couples don't need to have kids to be happy and we have to learn to be happy with what we have.
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Oct 07
My husband and I have been married for over 23 years. We don't have any kids. We have both good and bad times as everyone else does. We chose not to have kids because of health reasons. We took care of a nephew for awhile due to an accident. We may not have been able to do this if we had our own kids. I believe that everything happens for a reason. We love kids but don't feel we missed out because we have plenty of love for our niece's and nephews. A marriage is what you make of it regardless of kids and provided you have the right person for you.
• China
19 Oct 07
You told your own experience objectively so I can see it's true having kids or not doesn't determine whether a couple is happy or not.
@joshboz (1214)
• Australia
19 Oct 07
hi friend nice topic. hey add me as your friend so that we can respond more to each other topic. welcome here in mylot. as for your topic. its because some people are happy without having any children. they just enjoy eahc other relationship with out the need of addin another member. some people do because they dont have time to nurture that baby at all. for me, as long they are happy then i guess there are no problem at all.
• China
19 Oct 07
Hi joshboz I've added you as my friend.
@Calais (10905)
• Australia
18 Oct 07
Of course they can be happy, there is no rule in life to say that if you are married you have to have children...If they are not concerned about, no one else should be its their business ...
• China
19 Oct 07
I agree.
18 Oct 07
I think it all depends on the couple, for me every partner ive had has always wanted children. But If the couple for some reason cant. I know from me personally I would accept. Its to do with love for the other person. I love my partner deep so regardless of situation I would be with her.
• China
19 Oct 07
You and your partner are happy to be with each other. Best wishes to you!
@missybal (4492)
• United States
18 Oct 07
I don't see why not. Think about it you can walk around naked and make love any time you want. You can sleep in or take a trip without worry of is it during the school year. You have extra cash, because you don't have kids to provide for. You don't have to clean up the messes kids make. My husband and I plan on being married for a long time before having kids and be sure we get all the time we can to be young and free. We may decide not to have kids at all. Now a days it's a crazy world and I don't know if I would want to bring kids into it.
• China
19 Oct 07
Hehe, really practical problems.
• United States
18 Oct 07
Dont get me wrong in this post because I love my kids more than anything but my wife and I were more happier and we did more things together when we did not have any kids. We did things on the spur of the moment where with kids you have to get them ready to go and get there clothes ready and all that. It all depends on the couple whether they want kids or not but I am sure that they will be happy with or without kids. Me and my wife are very happy with kids. But Remember the saying KIDS CHANGES EVERYTHING. That saying is very true.
• China
19 Oct 07
You are busy taking care of your kids but you are happy.
@senthil2k (1501)
• India
18 Oct 07
Children just add to the joy of the Married life. But that does not mean without children a couple cant be happy. A couple can definitely be happy without a child too. That depends on how close the pair is.
• China
19 Oct 07
Yes, that depends on how close the pair is, in the final analysis.
@dani27 (546)
• United States
18 Oct 07
I think a couple can be happy with no kids, but it depends on them. If she chooses to not have a "test tube baby" (I hate that wording) than it is up to her to be happy about it, because it was her choice. My husband and I found out 10 months into our married, when I was only 20 years old that we may never have kids. To both of us kids were very important and we wanted them. So right away we started on fertility and we did have to do insemination (test tube baby), even though it was my husbands sperm. It can be a very stressful thing on a married but we didn't let it. We bonded closer together. We decided to adopt and were so lucky to get a baby with in about a month of the acceptance. She is now 21 months old and we love being parents. If I didn't get the chance to have kids that would be okay too. I have 14 nieces and nephews who I love to spoil. I also suffer with sever endometriosis and have had 10 surgeries in 5 years, But my belief is that you choose to be happy or sad about what you are given and of your choices. So good luck to all who are trying to have kids and congrats to all who choose to be happy.
• China
19 Oct 07
So you have a daughter, congrats to you. Thank you for answering.
@azimsay (546)
• India
18 Oct 07
My kazine brother also no kid for long years. My sister wtd akid but not happend such thing.She told her husband to adopt one child from orphen comity but her husband refused dono mind we have no child.And living happyly.its wonderful couple.
• China
19 Oct 07
Yes,that's good they do not mind having no kids and they are happy.
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
It really depends on the love they have for each other. because I believe, only love can make a relationship survives no matter what. If there is no love anymore, even if they have all the kids they want, they will not stay happy and for sure their relationship will not survive.
• United States
18 Oct 07
Well in my situation I don't think that my wife loves me she is just staying with me because of the kids and I dont think that is right but I dont want to loose my kids or loose the chance of seeing them anymore.
@jcj_111776 (3221)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
hi happy. For some couples, yes. I have a newfound here at Mylot who's been married for a long time and they still have no kids, but they're are deeply in love and happy. And I have a sister who's been married for six years and they don't have any kids. They like to have one someday, but being childless didn't stop them from being content and happy with each other. Happiness comes in different forms for every couple.
• China
19 Oct 07
hi jcj, I agree, happiness comes in different forms for every couple. Couples with children are happy; couples without children are not unhappy. They enjoy different ways of happiness.
@rimsha (806)
• Pakistan
18 Oct 07
It is impossible after some time both becoming bore. Topics are also becoming ended. So Kids are very important figers.
• China
19 Oct 07
I'm inclined to disagree with that. My friend and her husband have been married for 10 years, they are so attached to each other, and they are not bored with their current relationship.
• China
18 Oct 07
I am glad to see so many people here think couples with no kids can also be happy. I have no kids but I don't know anyone like me. I hope every couple who have no kids will be happy.
• China
19 Oct 07
Wish all couples without kids happiness! Wish you happiness!
@CatsandDogs (13964)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Yes of course a couple can be happy without having any kids. Kids aren't for everyone. Some people want them and some don't. My husband and I have been married for 16 years and don't have any kids and we're just as happy as someone who has 15 kids. Life is what you make of it... most of the time.
• China
19 Oct 07
Well, I've come to feel how silly my question is. Yes, life is what you make of it, and we have the power to shape our life, so why not to choose to be happy?
@cefaz_21 (2597)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
I think so, happiness doesn't depend on things you have or you don't have,it's being satisfied and contented on the gifts that God has given you. We don't have kids too but we're praying,and if God gives it soon we'll be very happy about it,but if it is HIS willfor us not to ahve our own kid,that would be perpfectly fine too. God know's what he's doing in our lives and He cannot go wrong. I'm sure He has reasond in everything that He does. :) Happy mylotting!
• China
19 Oct 07
I like your way of looking at the thing. I surely believe that you gain peace of mind.
@rsa101 (13337)
• Philippines
19 Oct 07
If true love really is in them I don't see anything that can stop them from being unhappy in their married life. so I think we should respect them and hope that they could live their love without any babies around. It is true that kids can make the marriage bond stronger but it is not a guarantee.