Do Ever feel freinds donn't want to see you when you're down?

@missbdoll (1168)
Australia
October 21, 2007 6:56am CST
Do you ever feel that some freinds only want to be around you when everything is going great,and not when you might be having a bad time.I"m sure starting to feel this, with the death of my partner last month. It's fine if you're not having too bad a day, but if things are getting to you they would rather not be around. I don't think this is the right thing to do, because I have always stood by my freinds thru there bad times
6 people like this
16 responses
• United States
21 Oct 07
I am so sorry for your lost.I think a Real friend will want to be with you in the good times and bad. It is like the wedding vows, for better or worse, in sickness and health. If you have "friends" that are not with you in your time of need, they are not real friends.I hope you have family and real friends around you now when you need them.Take care.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (35517)
• United States
21 Oct 07
Unfortunately there are many people who are like this, and it is Sad that people are like this. I too over the course of my life have had many difficult times, and sometimes unless a person can relate with what you are going thru, they tend to stray away. I do relate with your pain though as I lost my Mom last month and somedays I just really feel no one understands. You need to find things you enjoy and work thru the Bad days and remember things do get better. If you are a Praying person this does help as well, and makes things a little easier too. Wishing you the best.
@laurika (4536)
• United States
21 Oct 07
This must be hard for you.at first I want to tell you how sorry i am for your lost.And you are right those are not realy friend probably if they are turning back to when you need them.This is really sad, when they don't want share with you your sadness but only when you are happy.Hope you would find people who will be real friends for you and able to share with you evertyhing and all the time.
1 person likes this
21 Oct 07
Oh my god, tell me about it! I hate these "fair-weather" friends. I used to rally around my mates when they were down and buy them flowers and chocolates and all the rest of it and when it came to me being miserable. I didn't hear a peep from any of them. I have been suffering from depression recently, and I've been very down with marital problems, and I have had one friend see me in the whole 2 and a half months that I've been off work. How is that fair? Personally, I think my family is the same. I very rarely hear from them unless they want something and all of that just ends up making me feel worse. You know you'll always have friends here on Mylot, moan away, cry away, do whatever you need to do, we'll all be right here listening. I'm sorry for your loss, but please remember, there's always someone there to listen x
• United States
21 Oct 07
yeah that happens to me unless your friends are emo then they are happy to hang out with you when you are down!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 07
Yes, and I let them have their space when they are like that.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Oct 07
This does not mean they don't mean you well. Not everyone wants to be around sad people. Remember they could also be going through something of their own. It's sounds selfish to limit a friendship that way. I am down a lot and my friends know it. I don't go around them with this. I stay to my self in my home talking to them by phone. It's life we all have to deal with it.
1 person likes this
@raychill (6530)
• United States
21 Oct 07
My last ex boyfriend, when him and I broke up, my friend at the time didn't want to talk to me at all. Cause she was still upset about her boyfriend who'd broken up with her like 6 months prior. SHe was also busy moving out of state and not telling me. So basically she wasn't really a friend. I think that's the problem. people who don't want to be there for you when you're down are just really not much your friend.
1 person likes this
21 Oct 07
This is a tough one. I know what you are going through as i lost a very close relative a couple of months ago and since then i have found that people respond differently to me. Neighbours actually crossed the road so they didnt have to speak to me and colleagues avoided me too. But, I had a very good friend who stood by my side and said if i needed a shoulder to cry on to call her anytime and she would be there. That in itself was of great comfort to know that i wasnt alone. Its difficult for people who havent been affected by a bereavement to know how to respond to you. They might think you want to be left alone, or they let their own fears get in the way because there is nothing anyone can do or say to console someone who has suffered a bereavement. Plus it is often difficult for your friends to see you in pain. They want to help but just dont know how. Its very much a case of you find out who your real friends are when a crisis happens. Time is a healer though and you will start to feel better in the months to come. x
1 person likes this
@deserve40 (1643)
• India
21 Oct 07
Many times I feel that some of my friends are avoiding me because I am down. However, when I think from their point of view, or about their conditions I feel that if they are avoiding me they are not doing wrong thing. This is because many times I have come to know that they were avaoding me because they were not in a position to help me. So they were feeling sorry. I will tell you my own example. One of my very old friend lost his wife after brief illness at a very young age. Now at once I went to him and consoled him. He was so sad that he could not say anything. That made me so sad and that face of a friend quite often came before me for so many days. He is far away from me and I am not in a position to help him in any way. So now I am avoiding him. May be he is not feeling well about it.....
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28240)
• Australia
21 Oct 07
I always feel this, I guess this is why when I am down which seems to happen a lot lately I just lock myself away until I get over it but I have never been one to share my miserys..
• United States
22 Oct 07
I've had freinds say something like "i think were gonna go home" and i said why? they said "oh you jus seem depressed"... those kinda friends likely won't be friends forever.. best friends are the kind that will be there for you when you're feeling down, best friends or casual female freinds, because females are so much more eager to help you out emotionally, for a guy to do that that's nto a close friend, it's less important for them, from personal experience.
• China
22 Oct 07
a good friend should around you whenever you need.if he/she only with you when you're okie,he/she isn't your good friend.only someone that you can have fun together,somesone that you meet in your life.
@Sunmav (53)
• India
22 Oct 07
what u told may be right in case if they r not your true or best friends .. in case if they r u r best friend they will try to motivate u and build up ur confidence and try that u wonnt goo down ..only selfish people does this so be aware and alert from these kind of people
@Sunmav (53)
• India
22 Oct 07
what u told may be right in case if they r not your true or best friends .. in case if they r u r best friend they will try to motivate u and build up ur confidence and try that u wonnt goo down ..only selfish people does this so be aware and alert from these kind of people
@mycharm88 (2292)
• Philippines
21 Oct 07
Hi missbdoll c",) my heart goes out to you dear :( i'm sorry to hear about your partner... and yeah ruth is right that you will always have a friend here in mylot and do hope that you are with someone right now to comfort you. Yes its true that there are people like that, infact i too have friends who are like that, i could say that they not real friends... i do have a few whom i could really count on specially my best friends and family and i'm thankful to have them. I would like to share though that my greatest comforter is my Lord...take care and hope you'll find peace in mind and heart.. hugz :)