Fear of Rejection.

@ciades (1624)
Philippines
October 22, 2007 8:50pm CST
We have this fear of rejections. No one like to be rejected. But we can't avoid it and its already a part of our civilized world. Like for a example a man see a pretty woman. And he want to go out with her. But then the woman does'nt want to. He missed out and feel rejected. The fear of being hurt restricts many men from asking woman out on a date. They don't want to experience the feeling of rejection unless the prize is worth the risk. Many men give up good oppurtunities because of this. . Their fear limits there possibility of being happy.
10 people like this
21 responses
@ellie26 (4128)
• Malaysia
23 Oct 07
I don't think I have fear of rejection. If I want something, I will go for it even if I am rejected many times. I will try and try until I accomplish what I want.
2 people like this
@derek_a (10902)
23 Oct 07
As a Zen practitioner, I see that rejection is something that I experience to learn the art of transcendence. As a teenager I did often get rejected when I asked a pretty girl out, but I think that was a lesson about not letting my ego get the better of me. Yes, I felt hurt, but that caused me to give up chasing a girlfriend that I wanted and just be myself with her. It was much easier that way to relate to others. We to be true to ourselves and others will pick up on this attitude and those who are compatible with us, will fee more attracted to us. Rejection happens from time to time, so there is no point in fearing it - just let it happen and learn something from it. :-)
2 people like this
• Canada
23 Oct 07
I understand where you are coming from because my husband and I are life coaches and group leaders. Our approach to assisting others in overcoming a fear of rejection is to remind them that no one will ever please all people all the time so you may as well figure out who you are..and what you think and walk your talk. People can only affect your sense of self if you allow it. Our goal is to assist people in developing enough self-worth that they will not allow the rejection of their ideas by others to affect it. Living the truth of who we are is a process of growth and emotional maturity...whenever we want something bad enough a way is usually provided. Raia
@archer1811 (1099)
• Philippines
23 Oct 07
Being rejected is one of the most biggest fear of man's life, especially when you are the kind of man or woman with so much confident in yourself. I also feel that way too. For sure all of us feels rejection and afraid for it. But rejecting us for once doesnt mean that all people will going to reject us also, instead it is an encouragement for us to go on with life let that experience be our lesson to move on instead of giving up. Hope all people on this earth have this vision to continue their life to fight for their future rather giving up.
2 people like this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
11 Apr 08
Excellent Post! Fear of rejection is the greatest of fears. Due to this many relations do not get developed. Our hestiation in asking somebody...whether he/she likes or not, sometimes proves very costly in our life. I think one should be bold enough to ask a man or woman about a date of such thing, he/she has nothing to lose. Even if he/she does not ask, he will lose the show otherwise.
1 person likes this
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
11 Apr 08
you make me blush again deepak! haha. This is your second time to responsed in this topic...Now, im really convinced that this topic is excellent coz you already say it twice. .. i appreciated it my friend.
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
11 Apr 08
Believe me, I myself was astonished and surpised to check that I have already posted my comments to your this post and those were almost similar. Previous comments were made 6 months ago. LOL! This shows that I am consistent in my thought process. Please do not blush, otherwise your face would turn red, and your friends/collegues would start asking you.....why are you blusing.
1 person likes this
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
12 Apr 08
lol
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
11 Apr 08
Some peopel really don't want to take the risk unless they are very sure of that the effort that they'll be making would be worth while. I have a friend who often comes by at our place or even tells his story about this prospects of his and that he implies that he does like her. We all know that different people have different tastes so I won't go into detail on how this young lady caught my friend's attention. Well anyway, my friend then goes on with his quandary on whether he should try and take a risk or just admire her as she does so at the moment. Of course, as I have exeperienced rejection a couple of times, I advised him to pursue on such chances for he'll never know unless he tries. My friend then goes to retract and goes on being passive. Ain't my friend an idiot? I then retort by stating his senseless gesture of bringing up his troubles and declines help when it is offered afterwards. I know to each his own but, we also know that in everything that we do in life, we just have to progress. We won't know until we try. If we don't want to try, we find an alternative. Something like that. As for me, I have been rejected a couple of times and I can't deny being hurt but, it doesn't bother me much anymore. I'm glad that I found out what occured instead of being unsure if I didn't try at all.
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
11 Apr 08
Wow... thanks for the best response
1 person likes this
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
11 Apr 08
you deserved it ratyz!
1 person likes this
@ratyz5 (7829)
• Philippines
11 Apr 08
Really much appreciated Thank you again
1 person likes this
@peanutjar (5211)
• Canada
23 Oct 07
Hi ciades.Ive gotten rid of this fear of rejection thing many years ago.I dont care anymore.If they dont like me well they dont know what their missing kind of attitude has developed inside of me.Ive been rejected alot and in the worst kind of ways too.Thats why i just dont care and dont even try to impress people for the fear of getting rejected.Take me as i am or just float the boat somewhere else,haha.Im very hard headed now.Its full of men and women out there.Thats how i met my perfect man. Peanutjar:)
@AD11RGUY (1266)
• United States
23 Oct 07
How wonderful an attitude adjustment! Of course I say that cuz I did the same thing years ago. But what I find funny is that it hasn't at all changed the number of people that aren't attracted to me. So all that effort to fit in or impress before, was a complete waste!
1 person likes this
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
5 Apr 08
hoping i am like you peanut! good for you..
@nyyboy24 (28)
• United States
23 Oct 07
I can't stand rejection. You're right, it's a fear amongst many. But this is where risk comes into play. It sucks being rejected, whether it be by a woman, job, friend, family, or anything else.
1 person likes this
@ciades (1624)
• Philippines
5 Apr 08
yeah, i understand what you mean nyyboy! even me i feel its really sucks.
@Eacync54 (86)
• United States
14 Apr 08
lol i feel you wrote this blog about me. yes i have been rejected numerous times. but i dont let that stop me from taking risks or asking girls out.If i dont get lucky with one ,i move to the next one. There's more females then males so why hurt myself over some stupid shallow idiotic girl when i can find some one better!
1 person likes this
@ebtenorio (766)
• Philippines
19 Nov 07
I agree with some points you stated here... :) However, for me, this could not mean that these are "limits... of being happy" I fear being rejected. But we have to accept life as it is... ok?
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (56473)
• Delhi, India
24 Oct 07
What an EXCELLENT POST! Full marks to You! I wanted to touch this topic, but you have started it. I complete agree with you that fear of rejection is the biggest fear in the mind of a man. He does not want to be rejected ...and for fear of rejection...sometime, he misses a golden opportunity. He fears if he gets rejected.....in the process...he does not initiate moves to come closer to a female. Honestly speaking, in my earlier years I did have this fear of rejection and for that I paid heavily.
• Philippines
24 Oct 07
Well, that is why there is this thing called risk, sometimes we do have to take risks. Yes, I do fear rejection as well, but what if you don't get rejected that time, right? That is why we have to risk, and have confidence with ourselves. If we get rejected, then be it, everyone gets rejected once in a while, it's not like the end of the world.
1 person likes this
@jbrooks0127 (2326)
• United States
23 Oct 07
To be rejected hurts anyone of course. However that hurt is a direct reflection on how much importance we place on meeting that other person. If, as you say, we see a very pretty woman men automatically would like to be with her. For most men she doesn't even have to be exceptional. However our fear comes from self importance in that if we are able to attract this special person we feel good about ourselves. We feel we have won a prize so to speak. But what if we see a person that is not attractive to us? They may be single and available but how do we feel about approaching them? Well now we see that we don't have as much invested here and if we did get rejected it would not matter. There is always the next one. The trick is to teach ourselves to feel this way about all people. If they reject who cares? The real secret is in numbers. The more you ask the better your chance. However there are many things you can do that will create attraction even if they would not normally be attracted to you. It is a combination of confidence and hummer. Check out this web site and see what I mean. http://www.doubleyourdating.com/e/10000/ApproachingWomen/?cid=ZZZ3Z4&lid=1 I do not know this man....just started getting his emails but it makes a lot of sence.
1 person likes this
@nangel78 (1458)
• United States
23 Oct 07
I have had a fear of rejection too. I always want to please everyone, but I am learning to realize that this is not realistically possible for me to do. We always place these expectations on ourselves to do what is right. Then we feel bad when we are rejected or screw up.
1 person likes this
• China
23 Oct 07
Once I was a shy girl, I was so fear to be rejected. Therefore, I missed a lot of opportunities. But now I have gotten rid of this feelings. I think being rejected is also a part of our life. And it enrich our experience. It likes boxing. Before you learn how to strike down antagonist, you have to learn how to be striken down. Therefore, if we can conquer the feelings of being rejected, I think we can step on another stage in our life. As ciades's tips, if boys never say out their loves, how they can get the girls loves? Maybe the girls are waiting for you. Hehe.
1 person likes this
@plumwish07 (4060)
• Indonesia
23 Oct 07
every action will gain the result or risk. thats why we can determine to do that action or not. it will depend on their own choice. something that they should know that good opportunity oftenly followed by high risk. it can be good or not the good one. and if we still keep our fear to do anything then we wont able to step forward for our own goodness
1 person likes this
• China
23 Oct 07
I am a gradute from college,just because afraid of being rejection I am even afraid of the company's face interview,a stranger and some difficult questions...maybe I will learn to be more brave,especially to rejections.
1 person likes this
• China
23 Oct 07
i can stand for rejection,i think men can accept for it as well.
1 person likes this
• India
23 Oct 07
every1 in this world is afraid of rejection...its a blessing as wells as a curse.. its a curse as tis fear keeps us from doin a lot of things in life.... its a blessing as v evaluate our situation properly b4 starting it bcos of fear of rejection....
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Oct 07
Yes, sad but true. It reminds me of that old Jackson Browne song from the Fast Times at Ridgemont High soundtrack, lol. "She's got to be somebody's baby..."
1 person likes this