Help! I suspect she's pregnant!
By gems
@mykmari_08 (2464)
Philippines
October 23, 2007 11:16pm CST
I've been observing my youngest sibling for approximately more than a couple of weeks now. And I've noticed that her hips have broadened and her tummy's somewhat bulgy compared from a month ago. She's chubbier now, too. Not only did I notice it, but my husband noticed it as well. Based from experience and from what people say, guys know better than females (excluding the mom-to-be) to discover that a female is pregnant or not.
I know I shouldn't be as worried as I am, but my point is, I'm the eldest of four siblings and our parents are in the province. She is still studying and currently in her second year in college. I have to admit that I'm afraid of what our parents would think and say about this predicament.
I want to confront her, but I'm hesitant for the fact that she might break into tears and the facade that she's displaying might vanish, along with the courage I see in her eyes.
What should I do? I'm really very worried at this point in time. Please share your views on this.
2 people like this
16 responses
@prettyvanz17 (410)
• Philippines
24 Oct 07
You should talk to your younger sister about that matter before she committ another mistake that might harm her more. And ofcourse, be supportive to her because we all know that she experiencing a hard time today since she's very young to handle those kind od situation. People might condemn her and your parents might get mad to you and think you didnt took care your sister but still you should be a shoulder to lean on for your sister. She might ashame on what happens to her thats why she didnt tell it to you but show her you love her whatever happens.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
About what you said in the later part of your reply, regarding loving her inspite of her present predicament; I'm not giving up on her. She's in my thoughts and prayers more than ever. And I know that she needs a lot of support now; not only for her but more so for her unborn child and my niece or nephew to be. I'm actually planning to ask her but I just lack the courage to do so. Thanks anyway.
@mistissa (1349)
• Netherlands
24 Oct 07
Being a young mother myself I know how hard it is to keep up the facade and also if you are confronted. I think the best thing for you to do, is just let your daughter know that she can always talk to you, and she knows you will always help her out when something is up. You should leave it up to her to tell you then. I know it sounds hard because you suspect something, but if she really is pregnant, she will need a lot of support from you.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
Just to clear things up, she's not my daughter but my youngest sibling. Thanks for the advice. I guess I really have to weigh all of the factors here in this case.
@archer1811 (1098)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
Oh girl that's a big problem if ever your doubt come true. Well all you can do is talk to her in a very nice way, dont make her feel afraid of, so that she will tell you the truth. Be supportive to her and help her face what she's suffering now. Its hard to accept the fact but you cant do nothing about it if ever its true. She's too young to be in that situation that's why all she need from now is understanding and love from the people around her. To your parents well different parents have their own opinion on how they will accept the fact that happened to their children, and of course at first maybe they will feel shock, but soon for sure they will realize that not all children are perfect. There are good children and bad too.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
Yes, very well said and absolutely true. I just hope for my family members to be united as ever for us to be able to win this situation over. Thanks for every advice given.
@stephanie78 (122)
• United States
30 Oct 07
I definetly think you should ask. If she is pregnant and hasn't told anyone she may be scared and not know how to handle the situation. She will need your help to deal with everything she is about to face if she is in fact pregnant.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
31 Oct 07
Pregnant or not, I'd still be here for her as a big sister. I guess you're right that she's pretty scared to tell anyone including us - her own family.
@spiderlizard22 (3444)
• United States
26 Oct 07
You should confront her about it. Ask her if she is going to have a baby.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
30 Oct 07
The situation has gone out of my hands now; but I'm hoping and praying that all will be well for all of us. Thanks for giving your views. I appreciate it a lot.
@clotho9787 (17)
• Philippines
26 Oct 07
as her sister, you have the right to be concerned, but you cannot be totally held responsible for her actions. she's in college, she should've known better. im guessing that you're from the phils (as i read from your previous postings) and yes, it totally agree with you a hundred percent on your views.
just be with her all the way. if she IS pregnant, she can't very well expect a positive response from your parents back home, and so she might feel vulnerable and may think of drastic ways to make her life straight. and so, ate (or big sister, in case i've guessed wrong in where you cone from), that's where you step in. it'll mean a lot for her, especially at this time in her life. don't make her feel bad for what has happened, she already knows this and probably regretting it, and if you make things worse, you'd be adding insult to injury...
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
30 Oct 07
You're right that I'm from the Philippines and also correct about "ate". What really caught my attention and will remain in my thoughts is what you've said that I cannot be held totally responsible for my sibling's acts. Somehow, this load has decreased its weight on my shoulders. She and another younger female sibling have just embarked for a trip back home to our parents and I'm hoping and praying that all will be well for the family. Thanks a lot.
@sudiptacallingu (10879)
• India
24 Oct 07
Are you nuts or what? Are you waiting for the entire world to know and your sis to break down before you offer her your shoulders? Speak to her immediately but in a gently tone. Not the preaching tone of the elder sister. After she confides or whatever, take her to the doc and do whatever you decided is best for her. And if need be, your parents needn’t know about it at all. Being the elder sibling, you should be her best friend now and her physical safety should be your top priority. Such things happen with young girls. Instead of insulting them, chiding them and making life further miserable for them, they need all our help and guidance and being a sibling you will understand her better than your parents. So please take care of her immediately.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
The only thing I could not do regarding your advice is that I couldn't keep it to myself and more so, keep it a secret from our parents, after confirming (if ever) she's pregnant. My two younger sisters are about to go home in the province to our parents' hometown this coming weekend. It wouldn't be possible to do so. Anyway, I appreciate your advice very much.
@cosmopolitan (1263)
• India
24 Oct 07
You should immediately talk to her.As every minute goes by things are getting complicated so you should not hesitate or wait another minute.Be caring and tell the real fact.Even our laws allow termination if it causes serious injury to the mother.So don't be afraid and make it a serious issue.Handle it as if your sister committed an inadvertant mistake and help her to rectify it.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
I'm not perfectly sure but I think abortion is unlawful in this part of the globe where we live. Though other females are doing it illegally here, it is a different story in our family. But thanks, anyway.
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
24 Oct 07
Why not ask her straight out whether she is or she is not pregnant. So what if she breaks into tears, isn't it better to know for yourself and if for her she is really pregnant, to talk about it? Although if she is not pregnant, she might be insulted that you think she's getting fat!
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
You're absolutely right on this aspect and this is also one of my concerns if ever my suspicion isn't accurate. She might even lose trust on me.
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
I guess the best thing that you can do is to talk to her and tell her what you are thinking. Let her know that she can trust you. and if your suspicion is right, I believe that you are the right person taht she can trust regarding the situation. About your parents, they must know as early as possible. For sure in the end they will understand. Of course, they will get mad, but she have to face that.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
This is really the bottom line of all this. I have to collect myself and do the best I can to know the truth and be there for my youngest sister. Our parents getting mad is something which we can't really avoid to happen in the very near future if my suspicion is accurate.
@shadowing (308)
• Malaysia
24 Oct 07
Hi Mykmari.
Personally, I feel you have to be brave and talk to your sister. No matter how bad the situation is, the thing is that, you have to solve it. A talk can make a lot of things clear.
First of all, you have to know what is happening.I mean no matter what is the next move, you have to know the answer first, right? You have to know what she needs. All the best to you and take care!
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
Yes, I think I really have to make this hard move and end my sleepless nights, too. Thanks for the advice and the greetings. I need it now more than ever. Thanks again.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
I guess she's not, because she's still a student and haven't graduated from college. It's the traditional way back here; as we still believe that one should get married first before having a child or children (obviously excluding this act of hers). She just turned twenty this year.
@hopejordan (3561)
• Australia
24 Oct 07
hi there do it one to one not everyone needs to know but look out for her and look after her and say that you love her and support her.
have a great day hopejordan
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
A brief response but very much appreciated, I sincerely do. I know that one of these days, we'll both be sitting down and have our crying moments regarding this issue. Thanks again.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
You're right, it's a complex issue specially for me and my youngest sister. But in our country and our family, abortion is not permitted by law.
@CinderInMySoul (4717)
• United States
24 Oct 07
ok i think you're thinking on this the wrong way. You are not the one who is in need of help..obviously thats your sister, and if she IS pregnant she is gonna NEED your help.
and you shouldnt CONFRONT her..you should just ask her, dont be accusing, dont be disapproving, just be a big sister. if YOU are very worried about her, just imagine how incredibly freaked out she must be! and if your parents are traditional (not sure of your culture but from what you say they are NOT going to be happy for her) your sister is probably terrified of what they will think and do.
If she is pregnant the very BEST thing you can do is be a big sister and try to help her..even if its just a shoulder to cry on, or someone to sit next to her when she tells your parents.
@mykmari_08 (2464)
• Philippines
25 Oct 07
What I'm really afraid of is that my parents might blame me for not overseeing my siblings' acts. But I guess that's not what's important now. I'm still and very much willing to be their big sister; including my sister whom I suspect is on family way. I'm silently wishing that if ever she'll be asking for financial help, I'd be more than ready and able to do so. This really is a great issue for me at this time and I appreciate every response you make. Thanks again.
