Ornery People?

@Rozie37 (15505)
Turkmenistan
October 26, 2007 7:00pm CST
Do you have to deal with any mean spirited people? I am not very good at saying the right things to them. When I try to be nice to them, it seems that they get even more upset with me. There are a lot of miserable people in this world and I would really like to learn how to deal with them effectively, any suggestions?
4 people like this
12 responses
• United States
27 Oct 07
Well I think it's really cool that you would put so much care and thoughtfulness into how to handle people who obviously are not very aware of the way the universe works. I say: screw 'em.
2 people like this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
30 Oct 07
Screw'em? Good answer, good answer!!!!
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
27 Oct 07
I have leared a long time ago to either inore them or turn the other check. They are not worth worring over or stressing over. I use to get depressed over the way people use to treat me. Now I am at the poinT I could care less what others think of me.
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
27 Oct 07
I am slowly starting to realize that it is impossible to fix a problem if I am not doing anything to cause the problem in the first place. I guess I still need to do a lot of maturing in relationships.
1 person likes this
@Shaun72 (15968)
• Palatka, Florida
27 Oct 07
Yes that is true. just don't let other bring you down you are to nice of a person.
@slavezero (835)
• Philippines
28 Oct 07
The best thing that you can do is first study their attitude. Different people have different way of living and accepting approaches, esp those who are in the miserable situation. Your effective approach to one may not be effective with the other. So you must observe him if you really want to deal with him. Dont make him feel that you are concern about about his miseries, he may not like it.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
29 Oct 07
I know exactly what you mean, but for me it just seems so much easier not to have them in my life at all. But, I guess that is just not reality.
@jts706 (21)
• United States
27 Oct 07
I seem to be pretty good at dealing with mean people. I am the type of person that just takes what they say as a grain of salt. I suggest that you just agree with what they say and when the complain just go along with it. That's what I do and I they never bother me. Just don't let them get to you.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
27 Oct 07
I guess I am just too soft hearted and sensitive. I get all mixed up when a person is mean one day and nice the next.
@seabeauty (1481)
• United States
27 Oct 07
At least you try to be nice to them. I on the other hand will say something nasty back. I used to work for both Dress Barn and T.J. Maxx. One day at T.J. Maxx I had this guy that was waiting on line, he was like the 5th person on the line and I was at the register hanging up some clothes at the customer service desk. Well, he starts complaining that I should not be hanging up clothes that I should be ringing people up. I said to him that if he didn't shut up I was going to walk away from the register. He didn't shut up and I walked away and I went home. Yes, I literally walked away and left work because the guy wouldn't stop b**ching. Didn't get fired believe it or not. I did get a lecture from my boss though. I am not a good customer service person. I hate working with customers as you could tell lol. It's just that I don't like when customers think they could say what they want to you. Well I won't let them. I wouln't suggest being nasty to them. That is just how I handle things. I just wanted to share my story.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
29 Oct 07
Oh my goodnees, that was a very bold move on your part. I am studying now about emotional intelligence. I am very impulsive, so I am learning how to deal with people who upset me in a way the is not self sabotaging.
@Debs_place (10551)
• United States
27 Oct 07
My boss is mean and ornery and those are his good qualities. When I deal with him, I am nice and courteous but deal only with the facts. He knows I do my work, and I do it well, so he can't complain but when it comes evaluation he will make things up. He has made up lies about things I have said. Now when I converse with him, I make sure someone else is there too.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
29 Oct 07
He sounds like a horrible person to work for. A job is stressful enough, without having to work for a jerk. Hopefully things will get better for you soon.
@miamilady (4924)
• United States
27 Oct 07
The best thing you can learn in dealing with people like this, is to not take it personally. Their comments are motivated by their own personal issues about themselves. They are not because of you. You just happen to be one of the people in their line of fire when they start spewing their BS. That's my take on it. Here's a book you can read that might give you some helpful advice as well...High-Maintenance Relationships by Les Parrott III, Ph.D. Good luck.
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
27 Oct 07
Thank you so much for posting. That sounds like a good book indeed. I will go to Amazon.com right now and check it out.
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
27 Oct 07
That's a tough one. I try to be nice to them and if they are still mean then I cut the conversation short and move on. It's hard to be nice to someone who always has grudge against anything and everything. I'm not sure if I would confront them on their meanness as it might just make matters worse - Smile, nod, smile and then bye I've got to go LOL
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
27 Oct 07
Girl, you are funny. I like the smile nod approach. I should also go real light on the eye contact. I don't want them to yell, Whatchu' looking at? I might be so scared, I'd wet myself.
@raychill (6571)
• United States
27 Oct 07
The best way to deal with mean spirited people IS to be nice to them. They expect the meanness to be returned. If you don't return the meanness they don't know how to function. It's hilarious. I mean, that's why they get so upset with you. They want people to be mean to them and they just don't know how to react when you aren't mean. So just be nice and be yourself.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
27 Oct 07
I will try this when I am forced to be around this person again. Anything to keep things from getting ugly.
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
27 Oct 07
Hi Rozie37! I have met people who are very mean and what makes it worse is they are nice to you at first and then little by little they show their true colors. I try to be nice and kind to them just like you but they just go on with their mean attitude. What I do is just avoid them because whatever I say to them they always think they are right and they always get more upset. So, it is better just to avoid them for they are vexation to our own spirit. Just my thoughts my dear friend. Take care and have a nice day.
1 person likes this
@Rozie37 (15505)
• Turkmenistan
27 Oct 07
You are absolutely right. It affects my spirit in such a negative way. I am ususally a pretty jovial person. But, when this person comes around I get a sick anxious feeling in my stomach. I will start donig my best to avoid her again.
1 person likes this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
29 Oct 07
The only way to deal with this kind of person is to be true to yourself. You cannot change anyone, but you can remain steadfast in your determination to live at peace with yourself and others. You may not be able to avoid them, but you have to remain steady inside. That is not become one of them by engaging in their negativities. Try sending thoughts of love and harmony toward them and always think good things about others, as hard as it may be. You always have the choice to live as you want and not let other's grumpiness and moodiness upset your peace.
1 person likes this
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
28 Oct 07
The director and management at the preschool I'm working at are mean people. They are tempermental and moody, so you never know what mood they will come in with. It makes for a hard day. I don't know how to deal with people like that very well anyway. I just do what I'm supposed to and mind my business. If they have a problem with something I'm doing, then they can come to me, but they better be respectful about it or I will give the attitude right back. Ha ha.