Snuggle time

Canada
October 31, 2007 11:34am CST
At what age would you consider is too old to snuggle your child in bed? I still cuddle my daughters as we read or watch movies together, I give loads of affection and hugs throughout the day however my kids have also always loved to snuggle in my bed, especially first thing in the morning. As a single mom this was no problem at all but then marriage happened and our matrimonial bed has become a sanctuary hubby and I want to keep to ourselves! Now we don't mind the occasional family snuggle but as the children are getting older, it doesn't have the same effect for me. I'd rather not have my oldest, who's developping at a rapid pace, snuggle in our bed. She tells me it isn't fair because her younger sister is still benefitting on occasion. I've tried to explain she's had 12 years of snuggles, her sister only 8... why should I rob the younger one 4 years of snuggle time! Am I wrong? Is it my warped 'sexually abused' mind seeing this for what it really isn't? Or do I have a real concern here? I know my hubby would NEVER do anything to my girls however to me it still feels wrong. What do you think?
2 people like this
7 responses
@hyzz1982 (1040)
• China
2 Nov 07
hi, MommaOFALLTraders, my friend. when the boy or girl is 15,i think they are too old to suggle in bed . i don't know why. you know in east culture , the parents don't kiss or hug their kids as often as the people do in the east. but i think when the kids are young, a kiss and a hug will let them think you are a good and patient mother, you love them everytime.
1 person likes this
• Canada
2 Nov 07
At the age of 15, children have already begun puberty so I can see why it's a magic number. I'm a strong believer in kisses and hugs to make a child feel loved. I didn't get many so I shower my kids with them.
@carmelanirel (21108)
• United States
1 Nov 07
I think if you are uncomfortable, maybe bring the snuggle time to the living room. You can snuggle with the girls while watching a movie or something..I see nothing wrong with snuggling, and if the child feels love from touch, then I would not deprive her of that. Out of all my children, I believe my youngest will be the one to want to continue to snuggle when he is in his teens, because his love language is touch. There is a book out called the five love languages by Gary Chapman. Here is a link to take a 30 second assessment quiz. Maybe you and your family should take this test. Though everyone needs a little of each language, each individual has one that is their strong one. http://www.fivelovelanguages.com/30sec.html
• Canada
1 Nov 07
LOL I started reading Five Love Languages of Teenagers but got sidetracked. I've just dug it out again and will be reading it. Thank you!! I'll be taking a look at the website!
1 person likes this
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
31 Oct 07
well i snuggle with my 10 year old daughter still while we watch tv or read. she has always been the snuggly type and prolly will be for awhile. Where as my 14 year old wasn't that type at all.
1 person likes this
• Canada
1 Nov 07
Both of my children are snuggle-bugs and I love it. I would be just crushed if I had more children and they didn't want to snuggle!! But there is a time when they have to grow up and not snuggle in bed anymore!
@jillmalitz (5132)
• United States
31 Oct 07
I remember those days. When they are little it ok. As they get older it is harder to handle espcecially when the younger ones dont understand. Sunggling is fun but it is a hard habit to break. Maybe it is time to make changes and explain certain issues to all of them. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• Canada
1 Nov 07
Extra snuggles on the couch before bed can probably help at this point. Yes snuggling is a hard habit to break and it all reality, who doesn't need extra snuggles these days! LOL
• United States
31 Oct 07
I would say that would be upto you and youre hubby. I personally dont let my kids in bedroom...like i tell them thats my room and my space. and they understand. My kids are 14 and 12 and both have outgrown the whole snuggle thing. I wouldnt be to worried. Just do what you think is best and what feel comfortable to you!!!
1 person likes this
• Canada
1 Nov 07
My husband would have it that way but since my kids came first, I didn't want them to feel they had been replaced although our daily life didn't really change and they know I still love 'em tons! I guess I'm just going to have to have a talk with my daughter! Thanks!
• United States
2 Nov 07
Ha! My son is 27 years old and he always seems to show up late at night when he comes to visit. It's because he lives about 4 hours away and always feeds his animals before leaving his house. If my husband and I are in bed, he jumps in and puts his head on my tummy for a good scratching. It bothers me sometimes because he is older and I was abused too but, I never let him know that. He has even been mistaken for my boyfriend sometimes when we are out alone because he hangs on me :-) I guess my best advise would be to keep it up as long as you can tolerate it because if your daughter is asking for it then she must need it. You don't want her going elsewhere for the attention :-)
1 person likes this
@hyzz1982 (1040)
• China
2 Nov 07
hi, MommaOFALLTraders, my friend. when the boy or girl is 15,i think they are too old to suggle in bed . i don't know why. you know in east culture , the parents don't kiss or hug their kids as often as the people do in the east. but i think when the kids are young, a kiss and a hug will let them think you are a good and patient mother, you love them everytime.
1 person likes this