Am I wrong to react this way?

United States
November 2, 2007 4:44am CST
My husbands brother has been living and free loading off from us for the past month and he keeps saying that he is going to be getting an apartment and was waiting for them to get it ready for him to move in to. He said he would be here for just a few days while they cleaned and painted the apartment. Well I confronted him about when he was moving into his apartment last Friday and he never said a thing about it. Then the next Monday he tells my husband that he saw his apartment and that they said he will have to wait until the 9th of November to move in (so he says). Well as of today I am going to be calling up this apartment building and asking them if they have his apartment ready for him to move into. Mind you we have never once received a phone call about any apartment for which he is getting which placed a red flag up in my mind that he doesn't plan on moving out. We have given this guy a place to live 14 times in the past 2 years and had to tell him to get out every time. My husband keeps letting him back in. Is it wrong that I check this out to see if he is telling the truth? I just know that if it is true that he will have some kind of excuse to why he can not move out of our house and live on his own. Should I or should I not check this info out? hugs
2 people like this
4 responses
@RobinJ (2501)
• Canada
2 Nov 07
there are not only red flags but bells and whistles going off in my mind, the guy is a freeloader and that is what it is and you and your hubby are being used by him on a regular basis. On the 9th I would have his stuff all packed and sitting by the door and advise him enough is enough and it is time for him to live on his own and get rid of what ever he uses to sleep on when he camps out at your place so he can't come beak and if that means getting rid of your couch then buy single chairs I would have the locks changed as well but that is just me as I have no use for freeloaders at all.Also yes by all means phone and find out if he really does have a place but even if he doesn't do not accept his excuses.
1 person likes this
2 Nov 07
well hun, I don't think you should have to check it out. This man has obviously taken advantage of your family home on many occasions. Your husband should be dealing directly with this and making it clear that his brother has to go. By all means check it out because i pobably would too, but also look for better support from your husband on the matter. I understand that it is his brother and the situation must be very difficult for him to. But it is unfair to expect you to put up with this in your own home. I hope this helps, good luck hun x
1 person likes this
• United States
3 Nov 07
Sounds like you and your hubby might need to talk this one out. I dont mind helping out family myself but when it starts looking like the situation that your getting into its time to set some lines out there. I think he needs to learn what I call tough love. Where you basically force them to live on their own by not letting them in. If they truly cant make it without that type of support from family then and only then...help him. But he has to truly make the effort.
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
2 Nov 07
I think personally that your husband is enabling the brother by allowing him to live with you guys so many times in a short time frame. I'd give him till the 9th then cut the chains loose on him as far as staying at your house. Talk with your husband and voice your feelings and doubts first and foremost. I think he is using your briothers kindness and relation as a way for free living at times is all. Just my opinion is all. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~