Younger sister gets pregnant

Philippines
November 5, 2007 3:28am CST
How do you handle or perhaps react when your younger sister gets pregnant? when she hasn't finished school yet or perhaps get a job for herself? Isn't it frustrating when, as a big sister, you have high hopes that she's gonna get it through college then get a good job and simply make your mom proud, when suddenly she comes home one day and tearfully confess about the pregnancy. Plus add to it the frustration, the guy that got her into this doesn't even have job to raise his family. It's just disappointing because your parents just get frustrated and in pain :-(
5 people like this
9 responses
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
14 Nov 07
when my sister got pregnant, she hasn't finished school and she has no work, I couldn't react. in fact, I was indifferent. it felt like I got tired of minding her business. because she was kind of a blacksheep in the family and she often brought problems in the house. I remember a time when I got really mad and I was slapping her and she was crying and I was swearing.. I couldn't remember anymore the reason for it but it was after that that a gap, a high wall between us was formed. and I stopped caring. so when my mother told me I should talk to my sister because she might be pregnant, I just shrugged it off and thought that my mother was just imagining the worst scenario. and when I finally knew the truth, I was disappointed and I remembered our little talk before that I was the one who wanted to be a single parent and she was the one who wanted a complete family. and I felt betrayed because she didn't hold on her words. though, her bf accepted the responsibilities, they didn't marry. until now they aren't married. but they are living together and her husband has work. but now, she has given birth to her second baby, I am slowly accepting her fate and I'm taking my time on renewing my old relationship with her. afterall, I can't do anything about it and everything has happened already.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
14 Nov 07
it must have been tough going through that. Right now, I'm trying to regain my good relationship with my sister. She's young,and i know she'll come to a part in her life soon that she'll regret this (not that i wish for it) and i just want to be there without any pain in my heart... when i want to be by her side, i want to do it wholeheartedly :-) It has been so heavy carrying that burden in my heart, but there's nothing more freeing than to forgive. yup its difficult but all it takes is prayer, because the one who really forgives is the one you prayed to, our hearts are just conduit of such good acts :-)
@secretbear (19464)
• Philippines
15 Nov 07
it's difficult but I have to endure it. afterall, she's my sister and nothing will change that. i'm also trying my best to bring back our good relationship. goodluck to both of us. ^__^
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
10 Nov 07
I know it's kind of disappointing. But as family, i guess, you just have to be supportive of her. There are decisions and things she made in life that we may never understand, but, regardless, as family I guess, it is important that she knows you'll be there for her. She may now undergoing things that we could be clueless of. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Nov 07
thank you for the advice tryx... what makes this a little more difficult, aside from the emotional, is the financial side.... i'm also anticipating any possible conflicts later on... since they're staying with us...
@tryxiness (4548)
• Philippines
12 Nov 07
Just believe that things will be ok, may be not ASAP... but soon. One day you will just laugh on the things that seemed to be something that has shaken your family... HUGS. Things will be ok.
@mamasan34 (6521)
• United States
12 Nov 07
It's very difficult in this situation. I know that your disappointed in your sister, but the situation is what it is. I think that you need to help support her emotionally and work with her. Making her feel ostricized and alone will not help her. I know how this feels because I was a pregnant teen as well. Make sure she knows you love her and that she has your support. Y ou can still love her and be disappointed in her behavior.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Nov 07
I appreciate you dropping by mamasan :-) i like the last line wrote here... i can still love her and be disappointed... i guess that's my thing, i'm so disappointed yet i can't simply shrug her off or see her alone facing her problem because she still matters to me.. thanks for making me realize that mamasan :-)
@myrrhyne (107)
• Philippines
12 Nov 07
Honestly, i over reacted that she had a boyfriend(my 23 year old sister) what more if she got pregnant. My gosh, knowing the kind of job her boyfriend have. I cant really take it. But, well that is the reality. That is really what will happen to all the girls. But it is a matter of how the girls handle the situation or their feelings. It is her, we cannot take it out to her. That is already there we cannot get it back. The best thing to do is accept and learn to forgive. and let it go. And help her. I know in every step that we undertake there is always a lesson. Maybe, the faults that she has now can makes her grow.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Nov 07
I don't have a problem who she is with or who she is in-love with, the thing is, she just simply get into a life that she didn't even try to realize that her family would get into such mess with her... I just hope that she learns from this... about 8 months from now she's gonna a mom...
• India
10 Nov 07
In life,we have to face different difficult situations.But we have to face it with calm attitude and getting frustrated will create more problems only.Whatever happened is happend.It is past and we have to thinkk about the future .
1 person likes this
• Philippines
12 Nov 07
i like the way you put it... "face with clam attitude".. thanks for dropping by :-)
• Canada
5 Nov 07
There's no use getting upset about this. Nothing is going to change, because of painful emotions. It's her life, and whether she wanted to get into that situation or not, she's there. Crying and worrying and being frustrated is not going to change a thing for anyone.
• Philippines
7 Nov 07
Thank s for dropping by..... Its kindda hard really... because I wish I could simply say its her life, somehow in one way or the other it's gonna affect our lives... considering she's staying with us because she still couldn't support her own family yet....
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
i will get frustrated of course. my sisters are all in college now and I want them to finish schooling before they involve themselves into this. It's too early to get pregnant. I have high hopes for them. with regards to your situation, well, at first it's normal to get shocked and frustrated but you should be supportive to your sister because you and your family are the only thing in her world that will be there for her in times like this. eventually, you will understand and accept what happende to her.
• United States
26 Feb 08
oh wow i understand.. i dont know what i would do but i think as a big sister i would help her threw it because that is a hard time in your life to handle. just be her big sister and help her as much as you can.. dont put her down .. tell her it will be ok .
@kwenge (2493)
• Kenya
5 Nov 07
Don't get upset about it because you cannot reverse the situation. The omly thing to do is listen to her and hear what she has to say. If she going to keep the pregnancy you should support and if not you also support her. She can still give birth and continue schooling, it is not that she has broken a borne or what! Dont get frustrated over something like that. Involve the parents also but dont make decisions for her lest she come to regret.