Why is a difference of opinion so hard to accept?

@raychill (6530)
United States
November 6, 2007 9:04am CST
I ask this NOT just based on mylot arguments. Actually the inspiration comes from school. I'm taking internet college classes. Our "classwork" is a combination of a weekly Seminars (think Chatroom) and Discussion Boards (think Forum). This is the main interaction between fellow classmates and professor. Our Discussion Board poses a question for us to discuss. The current weeks discussion board is an opinionated question. Meaning, there are no right or wrong answers. Most of our discussions are this way. Ok. So our discussion was basically whether we thought Criminals (I'm in Criminal Justice courses) deserved probation or not. In order to get a minimum passing grade we must write our own post and respond to at least one other discussion. I always reply to most because, well... I like getting A's. Anyhow, I responded to one sharing a difference of opinion and this girl is now arguing her opinion up and down with me (mind you, she's got no facts or anything to even back it up) and I just said that we should just agree to have a difference of opinion and she's still not wanting to end it. I'm sure this question is not going to be an easy one to answer, because it's similar to closed minded-ness. Since I'm usually the first to say "lets end this on a difference of opinion" simply because I know neither person will budge on their opinion... I'm asking anyway...since this also happens a lot on mylot! Any ideas why you or anyone has a hard time accepting that two people just have a difference of opinion? Why sometimes people just continue arguing their points into the ground?
3 people like this
11 responses
• United States
10 Nov 07
You've got me on why they keep doing it! The only suggestion I have about the girl is just to ignore her. That's what I end up doing when I'm faced with that sort of situation. Just curious - how did you side on that? I think probation is a good thing.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Oh well I did ignore her. I just think it's crazy how people just can't shutup and deal with the fact that we have different opinions. Actually the part we were disagreeing on was basically because I said that Criminals are human. She said that all criminals were monsters. and I disagree with that. Some are...but not all of them. So she thought all criminals should be thrown in a box with unedible foods and no "luxuries" of any sort. I disagreed. and yeah, I sided with probation.
1 person likes this
@raychill (6530)
• United States
11 Nov 07
Ha ha. Yeah. I didn't want to mention what the topic was about only because I didn't want to start arguments here too. Ha Ha. But anyway, yeah... she kept going on about why they deserved cable and I was like dude I'm not arguing that (I think they can have tv time. I mean, seriously, they can't just stay in a box! but maybe not cable..there is free tv with an antenna and all!) and she just wasn't getting what I was saying. She kept going back to the "luxuries" of edible food and cable.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Nov 07
I guess she just is just one of those people who want everyone to believe and think the exact same way she was. (I'm with you on the TV thing!)
@healwell (1268)
• Ahmedabad, India
7 Nov 07
Well I have straight and simple answer: When one considers his or her opinion as a belief or peincipal, then s/he can not understand the opinion based diference!
@healwell (1268)
• Ahmedabad, India
7 Nov 07
Sorry, just correcting the spelling which is not come out as corrected when poster! When one considers his or her opinion as a belief or principal, then s/he can not understand the opinion based diference!
@raychill (6530)
• United States
7 Nov 07
well that's the thing, just because you believe once thing doesn't mean you can't allow others to believe their own thing.
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
6 Nov 07
People suck. Even when you say 'lets agree to disagree', it's not good enough. They have to keep on and keep on. By the time they've ran their mouth enough, it's kind off discredited their arguement. You know what I'm trying to say? You can only argue so much before everyone involved, except that person, doesn't care anymore. That's a thing that bothers me on MyLot. Let It Go. I'm opinionated, but I am also big enough to hear another opinion and respect it. I know everyone won't share my opinion, and that's fine. That's life. People just need to grow up and learn when to shut up.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
7 Nov 07
Keep on Keeping on! Like the patridge family? or wait.. maybe that was Brady Bunch. Hrm. Not so good with that era tv! ha ha. I agree with you. The more someone tries to argue their opinion into the ground the less I usually think of their opinion. My classmates are so like that. It's really silly to me. Because most of them are older people so I just can't get how they can be so childish. We're big girls :)
@Flight84 (3050)
• United States
11 Nov 07
Yeah, you know how we are with our adult selves. :P The girls at work are argumentative too, but they argue dumbly, you know? Like, you don't have to talk loudly to make your point. People speaking loudly when they are talking/arguing gets on my nerves. I'm like, why do you have to yell to get your point across?
@laurika (4536)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Well I don't know if I really can other people's opinion I hope i can. I don't know if I should consdier about myself or if anybody else should say it about me, but anyway why it is so hard? Because thre are plenty people who just cannot admit, theere are someone who doesn't have the same opinion like them , becuase even if there is no right or worng opinion, they just want everyone to agree with them.I think it has a lot to do just with personality.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Yeah I think that's what it is. They don't want to believe someone has a different opinion. Thats a personality flaw far too many people have.
@jalbeos (1176)
• Philippines
7 Nov 07
I was in a forum one time. We were talking about courting that time. Like what you've said... there are no right nor wrong. Well, I heard this opinion from one of us and it was not right based on the principles that I've learned about courting. I started to say a word that time. After the forum, there was one guy came and told me that I don't have to do arguing to the opinions of others. I got facts to back up my view. "Just respect their opnion, most people said to me". Thanks for sharing this. ~mar
@raychill (6530)
• United States
7 Nov 07
No problem. I'm not sure if I fully understand, but from what I grasp I think I do. That's right though, you should just respect opinions.
• China
7 Nov 07
Every thing exists is reasonable.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
7 Nov 07
and... what does that have to do with my post?
@skydancer (1987)
• United States
7 Nov 07
I find it impossible to accept only when the other person has a condescending or patronizing attitude and approaches every little difference with an attitude of superiority... as if only their way is right, and their way is always better, and try to tell you all the reasons why whatever they favor is the best and why *you* should like it. I can't stand people who do this. And sometimes they may be a nice person but when you hit a subject on which the two of you differ, they have to always make it into some sort of competition and be the dominant one. Then there is the other kind of difference of opinion that I run into a lot in which the other person forms an opinion when he/she does not know any of the facts. And when you happen to be an expert on the subject and have studied it very closely, you KNOW their "opinion" is more them being misinformed than it is an opinion. In some cases, these people even admit to not having knowledge on the subject, yet they still think their "opinion" is as valuable as that of someone who does. Open-mindedness and understanding are key. So is the willingness to listen. People who are able to just take it as "food for thought" or "no accounting for taste" are the ones who are easy to differ with. At least that has been my personal experience.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
7 Nov 07
sounds good. I always kind of see those type of people, who push their opinion down your throat, as closed-minded people simply for not being able to accept that someone else thinks differently. It's okay to have an opinion. But you know, not everyone has to have the same one. Now as far as informed and stuff, I don't really think of that as an opinion either. I don't know. Like... let's use Politics for example. There are Facts and Information proving Democrats good as well as Republicans good. Just because one has facts and information to back it up doesn't mean one, in actuality, is better than the other. Same goes for ... uh, ok we'll call it "Creation". Some believe in God. Others believe in Science. Truthfully Science has the facts. Sciencists aren't usually religious because it's hard to believe in that when you have proof that something didn't happen that way in front of you. But, that doesn't mean people who don't have the proof are wrong. YOu know what I mean? Now saying.. "I think Oprah is stupid" because you think she's unintelligent and not knowing that she really went to college and has like 5 bajillion degrees or something.. that's a different story. Anyway, yeah. People like that just aren't worth the effort really.
• United States
6 Nov 07
Some people absolutely just cannot stand the fact that they can't convert you to their point of view. I have to deal with this a lot with my husband's family. We both were raised in a particular religion and when we got older and decided that we didn't agree with this religion or didn't want to live our life like that, we would have to deal with his family continually badgering us and trying to go back and forth. Many times I would try to end the discussion like you said as it is a difference of opinion and because I truly believe that we should respect each person's opinion. I think it is great when people can express their opinions but there is definitely a point where we need to let it go.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
6 Nov 07
YOu know that makes a lot of sense... I dont think I thought of it that way before. People who know me have commented on how I have an opinion on everything and not only that, but that no one will ever make me think otherwise. If I told you that I believed that the Sky was Yellow and you were convinced it was Purple, I would never give in to the fact that it was purple, becuase I see it as yellow. You know? BUT... I can accept that you think differently as me and I'm fine with that. I guess, that's what it is. They're just shocked that you don't think the same and that no matter what they say, you never will think the same. That's an interesting way to see it. I think respecting each others differences is best and when it gets to that point people really do just need to let go. Usually I end up having to just ignore them... that way they'll think they won and I'll never have actually given in!
• United States
6 Nov 07
I believe for two reasons - 1. because each party thinks they are right so they continue to argue to prove they are right. 2. because each party dosn't understand the other party's reasoning or why they feel the way they do.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
6 Nov 07
Yeah. and that's the thing.. That's what having an open mind fixes. So I guess maybe those people are just so closed minded they can't think about anything else but their own "right" fullnes which isn't even right since it's an opinion!
• United States
6 Nov 07
I suppose some people want to 'win' an argument. They're so sure they're right, that they demand you acknowledge that they are right and you were wrong. Possibly this other person believes her grade depends on her winning this discussion. It's reasonable that people will have certain convictions such they can't understand how anyone can think differently. But, still, one has to accept that they'll always be someone with a different opinion than you, even on your most dearly held beliefs, and trying to convert them is futile.
@raychill (6530)
• United States
6 Nov 07
yeah and see in my opinion... that's being closed minded. I just think it's silly really. I'm not one to give up on my convictions. I have very strong opinions on mostly everything from serious to silly and I refuse to budge on any of it. But I accept that someone else thinks differently and end the discussion there, because that's where it should end. You think that I think this... that's fine. Most of these people are failing anyway, not sure how but it's what I've heard. So I don't think arguing is gonna get them an A. The Professor knows these discussions are supposed to be opinions. Besides, she didn't even have anything to back it up and she wasn't clearly reading what I said. She was focused on ONE thing that I said and ignored everything else and that's what she continued to argue and the thing was ... she had read it wrong and was misinterpretting. So all I was doing was trying to clear up what I meant and she still just argued that same point! It's just Silly!
@3lilangels (4639)
• United States
7 Nov 07
well i just feel that some people have such a hard time admitting when they are wrong so it just makes them continue argueing until they are right or should i say blue in the face,they are just so close minded and just care on their opinion and not what other people feel.especially when they dont have a reason to back up their answer and they are still argueing about the fact,that drives me crazy,it's like ok just give up and go on or say that you are wrong.