if marriage is for two people, why involve a state or church?

@mensab (4208)
Philippines
November 6, 2007 10:26am CST
marriage is sacred. we heard it many times already. it is a covenant between two people.. then why the state and/or church have to be involved in this covenant? have your say..
4 responses
• United States
6 Nov 07
Many people DON'T need church or state. Ever seen people who live together thier whole lives and never "get married"? They don't need the church or the state to validate their relationship. But a lot of people pressure couples into feeling like they need to be "official" and make them feel guilty or "sinful" or wrong or not deserving of the respect "married" people recieve. It's wrong and unfair. The only thing that's valid is that couples who intend on sharing their lives do get legal privaliges and tax breaks from the government since their lives are consolidated into one. That's really the only marriage I think needs to be "required" just becuase it can make life so much easier, but if they choose not to, it;s their life, no one has any right to tell them how to live it.
@mensab (4208)
• Philippines
7 Nov 07
this is a radical point.. i wonder how can people get away from the influences of church and state? Especially states are pretty much prevasive in our daily lives.. even in our saving deposit, watching movie in cinemas, eating in restaurants, they make a cut from our activities. sometimes i wish states would just disappear.. will the world be peaceful? or more chaotic? or more prosperous?
• United States
7 Nov 07
Without law and order the world would be anarchy and we would all kill each other off. Not needing validation in a relationship is NOT the same thing as anarchy, it just means you don't need anyone to tell you that you are committed, you just are. Paying sales tax at the store has no relation to whether people sould get married or not, so I don't see why you would mention that.
@mensab (4208)
• Philippines
7 Nov 07
to avoid anarchy, don't you think marriage is part of this law and order that the society needs? there is value in pointing out the "nosiness" of the state in our lives. because even in the most "private" part of it like relationships, it "regulates" our lives. however, i still believe in the inherent capacity of human beings to regulate their activities (self-regulation). we see how states fail us, yet we also see how human beings fail their capacity to be good. i think marriage is in the middle of the debate.
@ailema4ever (2675)
• Finland
6 Nov 07
I agree completely with repzkoopz. We need witnesses in life, esp. when we make such a big commitment. Since marriage is a happy occasion, why not share it with your loved ones? Plus for some people, involving the state is the easiest way to do it. For example: I'm from Indonesia and my hubby is a Finnish guy. Marriage is the easiest way for me to get the residence permit. Of course people from different nations can live together and apply for residence permit, but in our case, it's difficult to do due to some reasons.
@mensab (4208)
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
happy moments have to shared.. yet when terrible moments come, when conflicts and tensions arise.. where are they? i am happy to know that you found your better half already.. im still waiting for mine..
• Finland
7 Nov 07
Well, some people don't want to involve other people when there are conflicts in their marriage 'coz it's embarrassing or 'coz it's their own personal problems to solve. I think if you really share your problems with your beloved friends, then they'll try to help you if they're really your good friends, not bad friends. Sometimes people just don't want to share their personal problems 'coz it may make things more complicated if other people start giving advice or solutions that may not be beneficial for the both of them. After all, if you only hear a problem from one person without hearing the other person's points of view, there's a big chance you won't understand the big picture. GOOD LUCK in finding your lifetime partner! :-))))
• Malaysia
17 Nov 07
church: to conform with religious laws state: to prevent fraud, for legality, taxes, registering of children later on etc etc it is possible to exclude the church but not the state, for the purposes above mentioned
@repzkoopz (1895)
• Philippines
6 Nov 07
other people are basically involved to simply witness your marriage. on the church part, its for the spiritual formality. on the state part, its for official/legal papers.