I got to ground my step-son last night!

@foxyfire33 (10009)
United States
November 9, 2007 10:41am CST
It kind of made me happy! Usually I don't get to have a say in his discipline or lack of discipline. Last night was the last straw though. He's been doing whatever he wants and hasn't listene to his dad or anyone at all. His behavior was out of control...and then he brought home his report card. He had one B, 2 C's, one D, and then the big one...his tech school grade- 59%! Passing is 70% and higher. If he fails for the year he can't go back to there next year and he'll be in danger of not having enough credits for graduation next year. I'd had ENOUGH of his dad not doing much of anything about any of it. I called his mom and told her about the grades and asked what she wanted me to do, then I threw in a few suggestions of my own. As soon as s/o got home I told him that this IS what we are doing and that he NEEDS to back us up on it. He did cut back a little of it and said it could only be for one week instead of one month but at least it's something. *He drives to work and school but can't go out on school nights. -all mine *He can go out Friday OR Saturday night but not both and must be home by 10:00pm and we must know where he is. -I didn't think he should even have one night of going out. S/o gave him that. *He gets 1/2 on the phone total each night-s/o pushed for more but I said no *He gets 1/2 on the computer a night- I wanted no computer at all *He lost his playstation 2 completely If he acts up again or doesn't go to school regularly and get his grades up, s/o promised him we would ground him for a whole month next time. He didn't take it well when I told him he was grounded...yes, I had to do it because s/o wouldn't...and then gave s/o a lot of attitude about it (which s/o said nothing about) but I felt really good! I hope now he realizes that we aren't going to just let him get away with everything.
4 people like this
7 responses
@ctrymuziklvr (11059)
• United States
9 Nov 07
I think you did a great job! I'm a firm believer in discipline of this type. Taking away what they really like is the best way to go. Giving him the one night out sounds like a good plan. You don't want to totally alienate him and have him hate you right? Kids today have to know that the parents are the boss and learn to respect their decisions. That's the only way they will learn to respect authority when they are adults.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
9 Nov 07
You make a really good point about the one night out...I hadn't thought of it that way. Now I'm glad I didn't push hard against it. Thanks for pointing that out to me!
2 people like this
• United States
10 Nov 07
Ahhhh...us grandmothers know what we're talking about...lol!
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
11 Nov 07
LOL, yes you do! I sure hope I can figure at least a few things out before the grandbabies start coming.
@kareng (7980)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Good for you! I hope this is a wake up call for him and he gets off his lazy ways and picks up grades. Kids don't realize how important grades are! Lots of scholarships are based on grade point averages. You go girl!
@kareng (7980)
• United States
9 Nov 07
It's better late than never!
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Nov 07
That's a right decision. While the child is still in school, the parents has the obligation to discipline them in order for them to make good with their studies. Otherwise, they will end up as drop outs. . . By the way, have you punished him before? Isn't that an act of rebelling?
1 person likes this
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Nope this was the first time. His dad won't and I didn't feel like I was allowed to. But like I said the poor and failing grades were just the last straw. It's going to be a long week but if he thinks this is bad...
1 person likes this
@maddysmommy (16233)
• United States
12 Nov 07
You had to do what you had to do foxyfire and good for you. As long as he understands the reasons why he is being grounded and the things that have been taken away from him. It's a lesson he will have to learn fast and hard if he want's to graduate next year. 'Oh boy the things I have to look forward to when my son is around that age LOL
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
12 Nov 07
LOL...At least you'll get to build up to those years rather than getting a crash course in it like I have! The "punishment" didn't stick but it least it was attempted, maybe he at least knows that we aren't going to just let bad behavior slide completely.
@alindahaw (1219)
• Philippines
10 Nov 07
Good! Never mind if he feels you are being a "bad step-mom", he will get over it eventually. The most important thing is that you are helping him to be more responsible. That means that you care about him right?
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
10 Nov 07
That's exactly how I feel too. Thanks! Actually I got lucky this time, even though I'm the one that grounded him he took it out on his dad not me.
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
9 Nov 07
good for you! His dad might not like it, but continuing to let him do whatever he wants will be very bad for him in the long run. Not only will it be detrimental to his education, but if he goes out in the real world expecting to do whatever he wants whenever he wants to... he's gonna be in a world of hurt.
@foxyfire33 (10009)
• United States
9 Nov 07
Exactly! I've been telling his dad that for the past several years but he just kept letting things slide. He'll be 18 in just over 6 months but he's got at least 2 more years in this house under this roof and if I'm going to raise my smaller impressionable children here there WILL be rules.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (164450)
• Garden Grove, California
14 Jun 08
that sounds like a fair punishment to me so if you' stick to it and your step son abides your rules maybe he will now buckle down and bring his grades 'up where they belong. sound like your s/o is a little too lenient on the step son. hope it all goes well for all of you. good luck.