Any other stay-at-home moms feeling worthless?

@jovimom (1576)
United States
November 9, 2007 7:05pm CST
Ever since I lost my job last year I just feel like I'm not contributing. It's easier not to work because of kids and school....but I just feel WORTHLESS! My car payment is starting to really cause money troubles and I love my car. I couldn't stand not having a vehicle....what are everyone else's views?
9 people like this
23 responses
@dreamy1 (3818)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Why do you feel worthless? I'd love to be a stay at home mom. I'm not a mom but I'm at home now because I'm not working but I am trying to start a home business. You need to do things that make you feel good. There's a lot you can do that's worthwhile. You could start your own business, volunteer, tutor, take classes, join a gym, visit sick children in hospitals, visit nursing homes. If money is the issue you can find things to do at home and bring in income.
4 people like this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Yes, I have Yuwie also....I have a blog but I don't make any money from it. Thanks for the info!
2 people like this
@dreamy1 (3818)
• United States
10 Nov 07
You can do customer service online check out some of these places. www.Workathomeagents.com www.Beyondmarketingonline.com www.liveops.com www.Workingsol.com
3 people like this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Thank-you! I will check these sites out :)
@maddysmommy (16243)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I wouldn't say worthless was the right word for me as I contribute a lot to our family even though its not in monetary form. HOWEVER at times when I want to do things, I know I can't, because we can't afford to spend on things that are not necessary (if you know what I mean). I am at the stage where I have a lot of time on my hands during the day and I need to fill that time in instead of being at home, watching tv and not doing much other than the usual mundane household chores. This is where I feel that having a part time job would help to fill that void and at the same time earning some extra $$ for me and my family. It would also mean I can buy those things I have wanted which we can't afford now LOL
3 people like this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Yes I understand where you're coming from. I think even a part-time job might cause problems, if it interfered with what time the kids get off the bus. Then you still have to worry about when school is out or one of the kids are sick....If I could find a legit way of making money on-line, that would be ideal. But it seems everything I look into costs a lot or is a scam....
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
5 Apr 08
Send me a friend request and let me know what program you are talking about, Thanks for responding
@Nykkee (2524)
• Canada
10 Nov 07
I feel worthless all the time. I don't work at this time because my husband preferes me to be at home so he doesn't have to do anything around the house (except take out the garbage, it's heavy, and the bin is taller than me), because I don't have a license or a car to get to a job outside the house, and because I have major problems with anxiety and depression. I feel bad because I don't earn money, Ibut I also felt bad when I was earning money because I couldn't keep up the house right at the same time. No matter what i do I feel like crap so I don't think being at home makes the difference. But anyway, your not alone in feeling crappy. I'm right there with you.
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Yeah, see even if I went back to work, I would miss being at home, so it's a no-win situation, I guess. I just wish I could find a way to feel more positive, ya know?!
• United States
4 Sep 08
I agree. I feel totally depressed and i work but get ragged on for not making enough. its depressing and it sucks.
1 person likes this
• United States
10 Nov 07
My wife stays at home and cares for our children. God has bless us. If you are looking for a way to make some extra cash I may be able to help. I just hired 5 people off mylot in the last couple of day to do some work for me. I pay $50 and then I show you how you can make 100-200 a month. It's not a whole lot but it help some. If you are interested you must be from the US or Canada. I do have some open slots for the weekend paying $50. If interested make me a friend and the send me a message.
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I realize now it's too late for the weekend jobs, but I will send you a friend request. I appreciate your offer, keep me in mind when something else comes up!
@babyangie27 (5178)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I have been dealing with the same issues for over 4 years now,it is best for me to stay at home because my daughter has cerebral palsy,and epilepsy,but we are down to one car cuz the other broke down and we just can't afford to fix it,talk to other mom's,friends,family and your doctor,if you keep feeling this way they might be able to get you some kind of help,it is hard but you will make it through,things are getting alittle better my way,I wish you the best.
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I am sorry to hear that about your daughter. Yes, as time passes things usually get better. I just wish I could find a way to make a good extra income that is constant....
2 people like this
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
10 Nov 07
Hi!! Get a hobby, do something fun. Maybe one of your hobby┬┤s will make you money. Painting, cooking, baking ,internet... You are not worthless.Though I know what you are going though, as I have been there myself . And have recently lost my job because of health problems. I am only 41. I try to keep busy. And you have your children still to look after. Well, that itself is a full time job. Try to be happy, that rubs off on the children. When you are happy , they are happy. When they are happy , you are happy. Take care, have a nice day.
2 people like this
• United States
10 Nov 07
Very good points, Margojoe! However, I think our problem here is a case of mistaken identity - women who thought they would only be complete and worthwhile after marriage and/or childbirth. Check out my response for expansion.
@Margajoe (4721)
• Germany
10 Nov 07
Respons for expansion? Where is that? I have read things about that today. Take care.
1 person likes this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
That is my worst fault, trying to stay positive and happy no matter what. I really need to work on that, thanks for the advice!
@mbs730 (2155)
• Canada
10 Nov 07
You are most definitely not alone in how you feel. I can't even get a good work from home job and don't have time to work outside of the home (most work from home jobs are difficult) But the reason you probably feel worthless is because you probably are a hard worker and feel UNAPPRECIATED!!! If that is true then welcome to the club!
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Yes, I have never been a lazy person, but ever since I've been home, I have gotten a bit lazy....not intentionally, I guess I just keep thinking I'll do chores later since I'm home all the time and then I still end up waiting til the last minute! But, yes I felt unappreciated at my job and I feel that way at home as well....
@jillbeth (2711)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Being a mother is the most important job in the world! It is God's highest calling for womanhood. Raising healthy, happy children is hard work and they need a mother who knows her self-worth! It's a job that doesn't pay financially, but emotionally. A woman with children definitely needs a car, especially if there is an emergency. Are there ways you can cut back on other expenses so you can make your car payments, or find some type of work you can do from home to help out financially? If you enjoy writing, check out Associated Content. Or think about what other skills you have that you could offer people.
2 people like this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I used to be an Accounting Clerk, I did that for over 10 years...I can't write, so Associated Content and Helium don't work too good for me. Everything I tried to write for AC, was rejected. We got rid of our digital cable, so that helped a bit. Our internet is still dial-up so it's not very expensive. Just wish I could find a good legit job on-line.
@sanell (2114)
• United States
10 Nov 07
yes at times I do feel worthless only on the financial aspect, so I made a change, i started my own home based business. I know it is not that great right now but I feel like it will really change our lives for the better and I can stay at home for as long as I will want to. I figure it will take a good 3 years to really see where things are going with it so far it has been amazing. I know you probably hear that from everyone that starts one but this is really a good fit for me, I had researched a lot of different kinds and this one is the one that fits me the best so I am really happy that I am doing it. Hope you find something that you love soon! And you are not worthless you are worth so much more!
1 person likes this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
11 Nov 07
I joined MyPowerMall, but so far no money from it yet. Thanks for responding!
• United States
12 Nov 07
Jovimom, Mypower Mall only pays you when you buy things online through the program and refer about 1000 more people. That's not going to be substancial income for a while, and what I like to call "multiple streams of outgo" seems to occur when you try to spend money for opportunities and can't get enough referrals to make it worthwhile. I joined it too, but as far as buying anything online, they say you need to spend about $200 a month and you're already having financial problems, so is that feasible? I'm not sure that jumping into network marketing is a solution to your problem. It might cause even more problems when you get pumped up by the hype then get let down when the money doesn't come. You didn't say why you lost your job, or what type of job it was or how long you had worked there...but it's been a whole year since then. Have you decided not to go back to work anywhere? Call your local social security office. Depression can be considered debilitating enough to qualify you for SSI. That would be money coming in every month that would help a lot, plus you'd get a substancial back payment from the time you apply until you get it. I'm not trying to tell you to be lazy and live off the government or anything, but this is something that might help you to get back on your feet.
• United States
4 Nov 08
My ex yells and screams at me for staying at home with our daughter. He thinks I'm lazy and I need to get a job because I'm worthless. He wants custody of her. He is keeping her from me, but I can't do anything about it because he's the father and he has threatened to call child protective services on me because he thinks I don't feed my child and I do! But times have been tough and I have to buy cheap meals that stretch and she doesn't like the same things. I don't blame her! She told him she is happier at his home. I have no car, no job. I stay at home with my youngest, too. She is under 2 years old. My boyfriend works and he loves that I stay at home with the kids, but we are barely putting food on the table. Am I lazy and worthless because I don't work? I have to move out of state just to survive. If we stay here, we will end up in a dump somewhere. If we move, we will be doing good. But he doesn't want me taking our daughter out of state and he wouldn't let me explain how we would be bringing her to his house and he wouldn't even have to pick her up! He promised me some sort of child support each week and that months ago! He thinks he's getting out of paying child support, but he will be paying more for her at his home! We went over the divorce papers and signed them, but he won't file them! He says we need to change them and he keeps changing his mind about everything! I told him we need to file now so that he can tell them what changes he wants to dispute and what changes I want to dispute. He always yells and screams and gets angry with me and I try to talk to him calmly. I am depressed and miserable. He controls my life even when I am no longer with him. Why can't he quit bullying me? He's the one that left my daughter and I for another woman! And I thought she and I were finally getting along and she back stabs me by supporting his actions! No one likes me. I don't think anyone would miss me too much.
1 person likes this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
6 Nov 08
I know times can be tough. Staying at home helps avoid a lot of conflict when it comes to your kids though. I went thru a divorce in 2001 finalized 2002, there wasn't really anything to fight over though. I chose joint legal custody and my ex seemed fine with that, but I made sure my son lives with me and he pays me child support. I knew he wouldn't take care of him right. I have now been happily remarried for over 5 years. I would tell him to stop being childish and sign the papers already! Someone would miss you, your boyfriend and your daughter, don't think like that. Everyone matters to someone, hope all works out for you eventually :)
@OffBeat (28)
• Pakistan
24 Nov 07
Hi Jovi Im going through the same feelings these days. We stay at home moms are not worthless though. I worked only 6 months ago and now I am free. I can take better care of my kids now and make nice meals for them. They are a lot happier now. When I was working it was very painful to leave my crying children behind. Now they wake up with me, sleep with me play with me. Children are a womans first responsibility. When I see all those horror stories of child abuses going on around us I feel it is a blessing that I am there to keep an eye on my kids. They are safer with a mother than they are with anyone else. Try to do something from home. If u are a good writer or have a knowledge of computers I can give u very good suggestions. Even if u DONT know all that even then I can help u to raise some extra money from home.
1 person likes this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
24 Nov 07
I can't write, I did find a site that pays you to put articles on your blog about certain companies. I've only done one that paid so far though. Any info you have would be greatly appreciated. I will send you a friend request. Thanks! :)
@nimwia (29)
• United States
14 Nov 07
I quit my job a year or more ago. I am working on a long time love of writing that I would love to make a living at, but its a hard one. I just went back for one day a week I like it but I do not want to do it for ever. I am trying to work at home on my writing and am very discuraged that nothing makes it from my head to print. I deal with my depression by sleeping. I could sleep for days. It's not fair that if you don't work its to hard to get by. I wouldn't think worthless, you have kids, you real are worth more than you may feel like.
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
14 Nov 07
I couldn't write anything for the life of me, I can't even get anything approved by Associated Content,lol! But, I'm definitely NOT a writer in the 1st place. Well, I hope so at least....
@glamgrl (384)
• Ireland
13 Nov 07
i am a stay at home mom of 1 i think its the best job ive ever had i worked for my parents before and i hated it we have v little money but i would never let my car go i would do whatever it took to keep it dear jovimom u should be proud of urself whatever u do if ur happy ur kids will be im sure ur doing a great job be proud love glam
1 person likes this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
13 Nov 07
Yes, I couldn't survive w/o a car. Thank-you, I hope so!
• United States
12 Nov 07
Just out of curiosity, or being nosy if you will, does anyone else say that you're not contributing? Being a mom by iteself is a 24/7 job. And it's a very worthwhile contribution to raise responsible and well rounded kids, not to mention taking care of a husband and a house. That's WORK. Don't let anyone tell you that by not working outside the home that you're not contributing..and don't tell yourself that either. You're contributing a LOT just by being there when they come home and taking good care of them. Have you talked to your doctor? Some of the feelings you're having could be depression. Sometimes it feels good just to have someone to talk to, and sometimes all the stress of changes in your life can bring on a chemical imbalance. Sometimes it's hormones. Your doctor will be able to do some simple blood tests to find out what's going on and maybe subscribe the right medication to help. Do you ever get out of the house and just go visit friends? Or are you cooped up in the house and not having any interraction other than the kids and hubby? Find a support group, or join a women's club. Find something you can do during the day while the kids are away. Maybe take a college course. Do something to boost your self esteem. Don't let not having a job make you feel like you're worthless. You're very much worth taking care of too. The minister sometimes needs ministering you know?
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
12 Nov 07
I actually do have blood work scheduled for January w/my doctor. I've been on depression/anxiety medicine before and it really didn't help much. Besides, I'm tired of taking pills, I'm already on enough for medical reasons(migraines, high blood pressure). I do get out of the house and do things w/relatives and friends. I go to concerts and the movies. I go out dancing every once in a while, my husband won't go. I appreciate your concern. Hopefully things will get better down the road a bit.
• United States
11 Nov 07
Hey there! I am not really a mom... I have 3 fur-babies though... and I'm NEVER home. I go to school and work a part time job that gets barely any money... It's very stressful. A program I just joined is Scent-Sations. They sell wonderful Mia Bella products. They include candles, wax melts, and bath and body products. Their scents are absolutely amazing. The best part is that you can make money in three different ways. You can retail these products to others, you can recruit other distributors to sell and you make a percentage of their profits, or you can do fund raisers. They practically sell themselves! All you have to do really is say... you like candles? Smell this. Their eyes light up... o wow that's amazing!!! hehe sold. Repeat customers are a high percentage of your sales... and you get an amazing website when you join so you can sell online as well. Don't rush into anything... but check out my site. There you can learn about the company, the products, check out the newsletter to get ideas on how to sell... they give you all the information you ever wanted... BEFORE you sign up! This company allows you to stay home with your kids and spend time around the house, but it also helps you interact with other people, make other people happy, and you can make a lot of money! It's candle season right now... think about it... how many people give candles as gifts... especially around Christmas!Check out the site. If you have any questions, my email is located at the top of the page. It has my phone number too... but as of right now i'm almost never home!! So... email is a great way to contact me. http://www.candleobsession.scent-team.com/ Don't forget to enter the free weekly candle drawing at the top right corner of the page!!!Thanks for listening! Amanda
1 person likes this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
11 Nov 07
Sounds like a good business, I would probably only want to do the on-line selling part though. Can you do only that? I am a member of MyPowerMall and so far, I haven't made any money from it....
• India
11 Nov 07
i quit my job coz of my baby but i never feel worthless..taking care of a baby is a full-time job and need lot of energy and patience.rather working away from home was far easy and relaxing.but i do spend some time of the day doing productive activity.like i take tutions for children.presently i have 6 students who come to my home who need help with their studies and homework.and i also do some handwork,and painting on plain t-shirts.which gives me a little money as they are customized.
1 person likes this
@Karinne (1224)
• Australia
11 Nov 07
Hi there jovimon! First of all you are not worthless! Sounds like you are depressed. Have you been to your doctor about this. Maybe you need some antidepressents to help you. Taking these will help with your day to day life as your doctor will tell you. Yes money is the root of all evil. and with the prices of things and grocery going up all the time it's putting pressure on alot of families. No you can't get rid of your car - you need a car for getting your children around in. I hope you get things sorted soon and start to feel better about your self. mmm maybe see if you can get some help from the salvos or other agencies like them to assist with paying some bills for you. they help out with payments towards rent, food, electricity bills etc. Hope this helps :)
@cher913 (25895)
• Canada
10 Nov 07
there is no need to feel worthless. you are contributing just by being a constant for your kids. if they are in school, why not volunteer at their school? i volunteered at my kids school for many years (about 6) and kids love it when they see you at school!
1 person likes this
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I don't think that would work for me. I have never been a very energetic or outgoing person. Most moms that do that have those qualities. Thanks for the advice though!
• United States
10 Nov 07
You should continue in your search. Don't give up. Don't think that way. Have you read the Secret? You really should. I am not sure if it works exactly, but that is how I am trying to live my life now. Add me as a friend and visit my blog. If you want help in the online job market, feel free to message me. Have you tried getafreelancer? They post freelance jobs and you bid on them. Check it out.
@jovimom (1576)
• United States
10 Nov 07
I am still looking. I have seen free-lance jobs on other sites and nothing works for me. I am a member of Guru.com and I have bid before but nothing ever comes from it. I will just keep looking for the right fit...I will send you a friend request, Thanks :)
@Netsbridge (3243)
• United States
10 Nov 07
Please, put a lid ot it, women! I believe the problem here is a case of mistaken identity - a case of women who had almost no sense of selfworth and ahd assumed motherhood meant womanhood: Most women who mistake motherhood for womanhood or the act of making children with being worthwhile (or being accepted by society), often end up very, very miserable - Most married or stay-at-home mothers often get into deep depression simply because they originally had almost no self-esteem and had assumed that getting married and having children was going to boost their sense of selfworth! Wake up, ladies: Getting married and/or having children is never going to give you the feeling of importance that you never had! You, my dear ladies, must learn to love, respect, accept yourselves and potentials in this life! Nothing is ever going to give you that long-term inner sense of worth and fulfillment that you never learned for yourselves! Therefore, find out what you are good at and give it your best! Yes, you can do!
1 person likes this
@glamgrl (384)
• Ireland
14 Nov 07
you are probably right but why do you think womens self esteem is so low?