The best definition of marriage... I have heard so far!
By ahgong
@ahgong (10064)
Singapore
November 10, 2007 4:48pm CST
I was watching 'Shall we dance?' on TV the other day and what stayed in my memory the most was what Beverly said to the PI when he asked her what is the definition of marriage.
I quote:
"We need a witness to our lives. There's a billion people on the planet... I mean, what does any one life really mean? But in a marriage, you're promising to care about everything. The good things, the bad things, the terrible things, the mundane things... all of it, all of the time, every day. You're saying 'Your life will not go unnoticed because I will notice it. Your life will not go un-witnessed because I will be your witness'."
That is so so true! We are all living a mundane life, what with all the work and routines that we have to perform. And when we leave this earth when our time is up, if there is no one to share our lives with, there is no legacy to leave behind.
But all that changes when we meet our significant other. Then we decided to get married, so that we can share our lives together. It is this significant other that will bear witness to our ups and downs in life. How we grit our teeth through the tough years and how we share our wealth through the good years. That significant other is the one who will witness your legacy.
Do you think that is the best definition of marriage or not?
Do you have any alternative definition to share?
5 people like this
6 responses
@applefreak (3130)
• Singapore
11 Nov 07
hmm, that's an interesting way of putting it. but being the pessimist, i'd say that's an ideal situation i.e. you are in a 'good' marriage, the kind where you'd be holding hands walking in the park when both of you are retired. how many of us pay attention to what's happening in our partner's life. i've friends who don't dare to tell their bf/husband that they got a promotion/pay increment coz his work life wasn't going well. i also have a friend whose husband is glued to the tv, not caring whatever is happening.
sometimes, when i'm stopping at the traffic light, i'd look around and in the cars around me, the couples are not talking. both of them are staring ahead, each deep in his/her thoughts. it's like two strangers car-pooling from one destination to another. that's the sad reality in life, someone who shares our life is hard to come by.
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
14 Nov 07
ha ha ha... regardless of whether it is an ideal marriage or not, the first person to witness your success or failure is ultimately your spouse or significant other. No?
The definition in the first post could be a two way definition, where by the husband is the witness to the wife's legacy and vice versa.
But it could also be one way where only the wife takes notes of the husband, or the husband takes notes of the wife's on-goings in her life.
Just because someone doesn't pay attention to you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't care about you with all they have.
Well, as for the couples not talking in the car, I never really noticed that much as I usually commute by bus. Hmm... I will pay more attention the next time I am on the road.
@applefreak (3130)
• Singapore
14 Nov 07
hehehe, maybe my circle of colleagues and friends are really weird
usually the firsts to know of a promotion will be colleagues, the first to know of the success / failure of a project is also colleagues
sometimes our partners dun even get to know it till the next day or so. hopefully this is only restricted to my small circle.
i guess we'll want to share our success with pple who will be genuinely happy for us. if we can find a partner than can do that, then it's really good luck. or share our failure with pple who will empathise with us, instead of hearing the same old 'i told you so'. hopefully all of us will find someone who share our happiness and sorrow. cheers :D
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
10 Nov 07
yes they are wonderful words and when you think about ir, they are so true, we are all just a grain of sand on a huge beach and I guess to have someone that thinks you just one of those little grains is special is something, as he said to notice us...good words,,
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
10 Nov 07
wow, you are fast lilaclady!
I didn't expect such an early response to this topic.
Heh heh... thank you for sharing your thoughts on this.
It is really a good feeling to know that some one you share your life with is actually also the person who bear witness to your legacy.
I was really amazed by the way she (Beverly) described the definition of marriage when the PI asked her. I couldn't have put it better myself!
1 person likes this
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
10 Nov 07
Yes it is another way of looking at the union of marriage...
@sreejithsreenivas (10200)
• India
16 Nov 07
After marriage our life is totally different and our daily routine also changes.After marriage partners slowly understand each other.It is the mutual understanding that bonds the relation up to the end of life.
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
16 Nov 07
I wouldn't exactly say "start to slowly understand each other".
It is more like "start to understand each other on a deeper level".
Cos during courtship, we are always seeing what the other want us to see. And when blinded by love, we see what we want to see in the other. ;) Something most of us are guilty of. :p
There is a Chinese saying "Meeting up with each other is easy, living together is not". It is when we start living together when we start to discover a whole new side to our partner. His/her living habits, his/her quirks when it comes to doing the housework and stuff like that.
Learning to compromise and willingness to change a little of our lifestyle so that the both of us can cooperate and make a marriage work is the key to long lasting relationships.
Thanks for sharing your views with us sreejithsreenivas. ;)
@Perry2007 (2229)
• Philippines
11 Nov 07
Beautiful... It struck me somwhere...just can't locate where. Should this be mutual, or is ot okay if it's just true to one end?
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
14 Nov 07
Well, that will really depend on each couple.
It could be mutual or a one way street. IMHO, it should be mutual.
As to how much you know about your significant other will really depend on how well the both of you communicate.
In every relationship, communication is key. Without good communication, there is bound to be misunderstandings.
If these misunderstandings are not cleared up, then resentment will occur. And these have a very big snow ball effect which will eventually lead to a break down of the marriage.
So in order to bear witness to your significant other's life, communication is key.
@lucky_witch (2707)
• Philippines
14 Nov 07
Yeah that is really wonderful. I believe that it has lots of strong point. When we get married, we are sharing not just a part of us but a whole of what we have to the people around us, including our positive and negative sides. We give all that we can give to be able to function as one. And though we are two, we grow us one.
@ahgong (10064)
• Singapore
14 Nov 07
Hi lucky_witch, thanks for sharing your view here.
Yeah... it really sorts of sum up everything about marriage, doesn't it?
When two people come together, their main purpose is to share. Be it the positive traits or the negative ones.
And it takes a lot of communication and dedication to keep it going.
I like your last sentence the most!
"And though we are two, we grow as one." ~ lucky_witch
