Relationships

@worldwise1 (14887)
United States
November 16, 2007 3:24pm CST
I will start off by asking, have you ever dated the same person as a family member? There seems to be atrend, at least according to some of the junk I watch on TV, where family members start to date a person who has been dating a relative. In the past this has been thought to be crossing a line you should not cross. Have things changed so much that anything goes now? I could never see myself becoming involved with someone who is or has been involved with a relative.
3 people like this
14 responses
@Aurone (4758)
• United States
16 Nov 07
Yeah, hmm. Don't think so. I believe that is line that is not to be crossed. Be kind of like dating your sister's ex. Probably not a good idea. People just don't have any respect or manners anymore, do they?
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
As I said, Aurone, people seem to be willing to cross any line these days. They think it's OK if it is what they want.
@blueunicorn (2409)
• United States
16 Nov 07
I have never dated someone that one of my family member's dated. I think that would just be too strange. I have dated someone a friend dated. My friend dated a guy when we were in the 10th grade. They lasted about 2 months. Several years later (when I was a junior in college) I re-met this guy and dated him for about a year. By then neither one of us had contact with the old friend, so I think that was different.
2 people like this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
You are right, blueunicorn, that is an entirely different scenario. I once dated a friend of my ex-boyfriend, and we later ended up getting married.
@babostwick (2037)
• United States
16 Nov 07
Never done it before. I'm not sure if it would work out or not. I've never actually thought about it and probably won't do it but that's just me. It's just something that's never come across my mind. I don't know if it would cause a problem or not but I wouldn't want it to happen in the 1st place.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
It would be a problem for me, babostwick, because I think it is a moral issue. It would be sort of like coveting your relatives property.
• United States
19 Nov 07
Yeah I know what you mean. It could cause problems and that's something that isn't needed at all. That's one thing that isn't needed. I probably wouldn't do it but that's me. It's not a recommendation by any means at all.
@wolfie34 (26793)
• United Kingdom
19 Nov 07
I had to laugh, because you remind me of my old man! Sorry but he watches those awlful Jeremy Kyle (who is no angel himself!) Montel and all that other shites about chavs airing their dirty laundry in public, it's disgraceful, mind you does me a favour after watching those programmes it puts you off relationships for life! It's all inter breeding and no wonder the world is in a state, you've gotta laugh!
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Yes, wolfie, I plead guilty to watching all those horrible shows, LOL. Some of the stuff is unbelievable!
@maddysmommy (16236)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Well my husband actually dated my first cousin at University years ago. It didn't really bother me when I found out thought. In was during his college days so we didn't meet up till years later.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I guess that makes it OK, maddysmommy, since I get the feeling you were not that close with your first cousin.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
17 Nov 07
Never done it before. I don't think I would ever do such a thing, out of respect for my relative. Except of course if it's a super attractive girl who runs after me LOL
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
So, wisedragon, you are saying that it is not entirely out of the realm of possibility?
@barehugs (8986)
• Canada
17 Nov 07
My Grandson is living with his third cousin, and I think its neat. There is really no problem there.In the British Royal Family there have been a few idiots born as a result in in-breeding with Family members. ON the other hand Farmers think nothing of breeding a Prise Cow to her Father. This is called line-breeding and is done routinely to enhanse a line of offspring. However it can only be done once to be safe. In further crosses the line tends to break down and can result in unwanted mutations.
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I think I would have a problem with that, barehugs. I was brought up with the belief that family is family-and you just don't cross that line. It does not excuse anything because the British Royal family has practiced it.
@ctrymuziklvr (11060)
• United States
17 Nov 07
lol...many, many, many years ago I met a man and dated him 2 times. After the second date I took him home to meet my parents...I was young and still living home at the time. Guess what? He was my first cousin! He lived in Oklahoma and was in the Navy and stationed here in Boston. We had only seen pictures of each other when we were younger so of course we didn't have a clue. We never asked each others last names (which by the way were the same!)and when he ever walked in the door with me my poor Dad knew him immediately since it was his brothers son and he looked just like his Dad when he was younger. That was quite a "relationship"!
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
And they say there's no such thing as coincidence, country! LOL I can imagine your shock when you found out the truth.
@meemingNEW (2228)
• Philippines
17 Nov 07
No way. Never. It will definitely be too chaotic if ever I'll date someone whom a relative of mine once dated. Let's just say, I won't go for left overs.. :)
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
It would definitely be chaotic, meemingNEW! I could never understand why anyone would want to go there.
• United States
17 Nov 07
no never, rule number one at home. I wold never date any of the sisters ex and she would never date any of mine. Why even start that drama. Some things should be left hands off. Thats a big no no in my book
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
I agree, phillygirl. That is a good way to ruin your relationship with a family member or friend.
@Sillychick (3279)
• United States
17 Nov 07
The thought of dating someone who is or was involved with a family member would never, ever enter my mind. But I have heard of it happening. It's definitely a line that shouldn't be crossed. Seems like it would be pretty uncomfortable for everyone involved.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Well, Sillychick, it seems to be happening more and more lately. I think that a lot of people just don't care any longer.
@lucky_witch (2711)
• Philippines
17 Nov 07
well, i dont and I wont date someone who was been dated by a family or close relative. I dont think that I would be comfortable to bring him to the family knowing that he have been dating a family member before. And if I was the family member I dont think that I would be comfortable with the situation or with the thought.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
That would indeed be a problem for most people, lucky_witch. I think that such a situation would make all who were present uncomfortable.
@carolbee (16241)
• United States
16 Nov 07
I have never dated anyone someone else in the family dated. I would look at it as a form of betrayal on my part. Have heard of this happening quite often but never in our family.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14887)
• United States
19 Nov 07
Evidently, carolbee, many people do not have a problem with it since it is becoming so common these days.
@mummymo (23707)
19 Nov 07
I must be watching some of the same shows as you my friend as I seem to be hearing of these things and the ensuing problems caused by it! I myself could never imagine having a relationship with an ex of a family member - it just wouldn't be worth it! xxx