Should you have a child?

@Adoniah (7515)
United States
November 18, 2007 2:14pm CST
Do you believe that there are times when people should not be having children? And more important, are there people who should never have children?
3 people like this
7 responses
@kurtbiewald (2628)
• United States
18 Nov 07
yeah I probly should not have kids I doubt I could handle the responsibility
2 people like this
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Thanks for tuning in.
• United States
29 Nov 07
I should never have children.I don't have the patience or desire to have children.But with other people it is hard for me to point the finger and say they shouldn't have kids. If you are old enough to have kids, and you want them, you should have them. and if you have them and you find you need parenting help, you should be able to get it.
2 people like this
@academic2 (7009)
• Uganda
30 Nov 07
Well, issues of children are very emotive issues here in my country Uganda-having a child you call your own is what most typical Africans aspire for and consider as a mandatory milestone in one's life here on earth, that is, if you are of a sound mind. The attachment to children is driven by instincts to ensure your generation does not die out-just imagine that you have a trail of ancestors behind you traced to thousands of years-in my culture, we believe that if you have a sound mind, you are not encumbered by beliefs and religious prohibitions, like priesthood for ordained Catholic Priest, there should be no excuse whatsoever, for you to not to be a mother or a father in your lifetime, and not being a parent would ammount to the greatest betrayal not only to your ancestors but to the entire clan.The clan risks fading away if members within it who renag in their natural responsibilities to internally boost clan numbers. Therefore, having children to the Acholis where I belong cannot be subjected to any fears like poverty, or excuses such as impatience, care demands as I note in the responses to this post. Some of us were lucky to have made our ways modicumly upward through the social strata-thanks to our education and the opportunities made available to us-but back in my village, my father and many of his peers had no property, no education and all they had was their labour and the land their own fathers bequeathed to them. They simply lived off the land, they fed us not on icecream, but on wild fruits, wild game meat,wild mushrooms, wild yams and their subsistance efforts off the land. We were a family of 8 siblings from one woman, and my father was a polygamist with two wives-my step mother had 7 children so talking about children, we were a bunch of 15 children, 4 girls and 11 boys, you can see my friend Adoniah, that out of my father alone,we could make a football team on our own LOL. Must I just say, that the reluctance of young people in the western world especially, to have children is a demorgraphic time bomb that is bound to significantly affect these countries one way or nother. I dare say, it may even affect their super power ratings-I shall not be particularly surprised if China, which has a large population took over the superpower status from the Mighty America in the next generation! To answer you very directly, have children because your ancestors will turn in their graves in gleeful excitement the day this happens. Thanks for this post!
1 person likes this
@academic2 (7009)
• Uganda
2 Dec 07
If i may ask Adoniah, why would your own daughters carry their father's name? Do I understand that you are their father? Then what else do you mean they carry their father's name? Secondly, I undertsand holocaust, but what are pograms,and what effect did they have on your family name? Thanks again.
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
3 Dec 07
When we get married in the U.S., the woman usually takes the husband's last name as her own and no longer uses her family name. When she has daughters, her daughters use their father's last name until they marry and then they take their husband's last name as their own. When I divorced my husband, I went back to my Father's last name because I was proud of that name. He was an honorable man. Half of my family was German and half of my family was Russian. When the Russians killed the Jews, it was called pogroms.
• United States
2 Dec 07
Oh my goodness!! There are plenty of people that I see everyday that should never have been blessed with kids. If you are not ready to take care of them, don't have them. If you are going to use them to get a check each month, don't have them. If you're going to treat them like dirt, don't have them. Some people need to really consider giving their kids up for adoption if they are not going to care for the kids and make sure they are clean, healthy, fed, etc. It's not fair to the kids because they don't ask to be here and all they need is love. If person can't give them that, then why have them in the first place? This is a subject that I can speak on all day long, but I will stop here for now. It's just frustrating for those persons, like me, who aren't able to have kids to see kids being mistreating in any way. If you don't want your children, give them to someone who does!! Ok, I'm really done this time. Smile!!
1 person likes this
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
2 Dec 07
I'm sorry that you cannot have children. There are so many children out there that need someone that truly want them.
• United States
2 Dec 07
Thank you and it's ok now. At first, I was bothered by the fact, but I have come to the realization that if it is meant to be then it will and if not, then I will just have to accept it and go on with my life. I have 7 God kids and lots of little cousins, so I will be ok.
1 person likes this
• Canada
30 Nov 07
Yes I absolutely believe there are times when people should not be having children. Children are one of the largest responsibilities anyone ever makes. To have children before being ready to take on that level of commitment for over 18 years is something that troubles me. Sometimes people have children without ever considering the financial, emotional, mental, spiritual, physical commitment they are taking on. Then when they feel overwhelmed the children can end up being abused, abandoned or made to feel unloved and unwanted and that can lead to repercussions later in life. To me there are waaaaaay to many unwanted children...and they are the by-product of parents who should have thought about that before bringing them into the world. It is great to say all children should have a right to life...maybe so...but what about the life they have when no one is willing to take responsibility for raising them and being responsible for them? Sometimes I think people have their priorities mixed up when they cannot look at the cause, effect and consequences of any choice they make. Good topic and welcome to Mylot! Cheers, Raia
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Thank-you
1 person likes this
• Canada
6 Dec 07
Hello again.. Just notice your best response for this topic...much appreciated! Raia
• United States
8 Dec 07
I really think there is no "perfect" time to have children. When people sincerely want children, they would never have them if they waited until the perfect moment where they were in the perfect place in their life financially, in just the right house, living in the right place, etc. Because life keeps rolling along and changing. And somehow people make it work and the kids turn out okay. There are also people who didn't really think about children and end up having them. And they wouldn't trade them for the world. You "shouldn't" probably have kids at certain times in your life, but there are people who make it work when they do. But i think what you are getting at is that there are people who just shouldn't have kids period. I used to think a common sense exam should be issued, but that never happened.
1 person likes this
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
8 Dec 07
I can think of a lot of times in life when a common sense exam would come in handy. Excellent point!
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
30 Nov 07
I do think that rather than think of people not being allowed to have children, we should think this in another angle. There are people who should not be allowed to RAISE children and as soon as they find themselves pregnant, they should contact an adoption agency and get on the list or find some one though a lawyer who knows a loving couple who wants children. Just because the father is a rapist, does not mean the child will become one. It is a case of nature and nurture together. If the mother is not a good mother and gives the baby away, and the baby will be adopted and the court will make sure that the only time the horrible father has to do with the child is if the child needs a bone marrow transplant,etc. We adoptive parents would rather get a baby from someone who is not going to show up at our doorsteps, unless it is to see that we have taken care of their little one.
@Adoniah (7515)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Very good answer!