Can too much truth telling hurt a relationship?

The truth will set you free! - Photo: The truth will set you free.
Philippines
November 20, 2007 4:13am CST
In your own opinion, what can you say about this? Do you think that too much truth telling can hurt a relationship? As we all know that being honest and truthful to yourself are the best characteristics that a couple should possess. Other than that, it is very important for the relationship to run smoothly if both the two are telling the truth to each other. Lie can destroy or ruin any kind of relationship, isn't it? BUT, have you ever thought also about your privacy? Do you think that at some point also in our life, we should also keep some secrets to ourselves and shouldn't be told to your girlfriend or boyfriend, husband or wife?
7 people like this
26 responses
@hillock (749)
• Qatar
20 Nov 07
It does sometimes but being honest pays a lot. And privacy? u shouldnt be thinking about it when u got married. I always believe that lie can ruin every relationship! it may not be now but it will be. ^-^
2 people like this
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
Yeah, that's true! :-)
@hillock (749)
• Qatar
21 Nov 07
and when u dont tell lies it feels good. And your not afraid of something might come out from your lies! Ive been in a relationship that full of lies and i know how painful for us when we found out about the truth! ^-^
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
You're definitely right. It really feels good especially if you're honest to yourself. But to stay in a relationship that is full of lies, then I am sure your conscience will never rest till its demand are yielded. Take care you always and have a nice day! :-)
@spoiled311 (5502)
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
hi braveheart! honestly, i don't think so. i remember this so well. a few years back when my husband and i are still dating, a married guy started giving me advances even though he knew i was seeing somebody else. i felt it was very rude of him because i admire him and respect him. and for him to take my hand and kissing it while i am in his car and he was on his way to take me to my boyfriend's home was really disgusting for me. i told my boyfriend about it. he felt bad about the guy, but he said he trusted me. then my good friend who also knew the other guy said that i should protect my boyfriend by not telling him everything. but i trust my boyfriend so much and i wouldn't want him learning about it at a later time and blaming me for it. my friend is so used to lying to her boyfriend that all they do is fight because the guy can't trust her. in the end, i am now happily married while she is still single at age 44. so i think that honesty pays. i travel a lot around the country and outside, and i am with men constantly. but my husband can sleep secure knowing that he can trust me. :-) God bless you!
2 people like this
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
Yeah, it's better to hear the truth from yourself rather than hearing or learning it from someone else. I think you've made the right decision and it really pays back like what you're experiencing right now. God bless you too. :-)
• Philippines
8 Dec 07
thanks for the BR braveheart. yeah, my husband loves me so and i think that in whatever we do, wherever we are, the Truth will set us free. take care friend!:-)
@izathewzia (5142)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Sometimes there are words better not said that causes a lot or deep harm. Telling the truth is right, but too much, well for me there is always a limitation. It depends on the situations and how the person will take it.
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
That's absolutely true! There is always a limimation in every situation.:-)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Limitation rather hehe..^_^ Take care!
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
20 Nov 07
Hi braveheart! I have been honest with my husband before and after we got married. If he ask me something, I will truthfully answer it and I believe that he never lies to me too. Everything that I have done in the past, he knows although of course I really didn't have to tell him the details. I think that honesty in a relationship will make it stronger but I really don't deny the fact that some people have to keep some secrets from their partner for the sake of the relationship. Just my thoughts my friend. Take care and have a nice day. :)
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Good thoughts my friend. I agree that honesty makes the relationship much stronger and healthy. I wish you a safe and happy family! Take care!:-)
1 person likes this
@faith210 (11233)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Thanks braveheart! I wish the same for you too. Take care always. :)
@vicki2876 (5640)
• Canada
24 Nov 07
I think that too much info is not really needed and it could effect the relationship. I do think you should be honest but if you leave out some stuff that is okay. If it isn't something he needs to know and it would only hurt him if he knew I wouldn't tell him.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
25 Nov 07
You're right. I think we should always consider the outcome especially if we're going to tell something that would only hurt him or her.:-)
@riveream (111)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
it depends to the person if s/he is willing to accept the truth. it can be that telling the truth will destroy your relationship. but at least, you told him/her the truth. you are honest about yourself and that you really want your relationship to work. and maybe because someday the secrets that you kept will somehow leaked out. it is also a good thing to keep things to your self a thing or two. but take note: if you really love your boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, you are willing to tell him/mer the truth even if you know that it will destroy the relationship. you have the courage to face him/her and tell him/her the truth. because in the future, s/he will get hurt if s/he find it out.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Welcome to mylot riveream. I agree! I think it's a matter if you're a risk taker or not. But if you're really brave enough, then you really have to face its consequences. :-)
@plumwish07 (4060)
• Indonesia
21 Nov 07
you are right that telling truth about anything can be hurt our partner feeling although we o it in good intention. be lying still needed to maintain good relation between husband and wife as long us they know each other the limit of lying. let me give example, if a wife's cooking too much salty, in order to tell the wife directly its better if the husband tell how much appreciate him to her coz she already cooking him meal and asked her wife taste her cooking and asking her opinion first. does it enough salt or too much salt. by this thing, i m sure the wife wont be feel unappreciate by her cooking. but for sure, there are still kind of things that should be tell each other in order to avoid misunderstanding. as like your past and your dislikes to your spouse. telling truth in good way, i dont think so it can make hurt more
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
I agree with you! I think, in some instances, white lie is acceptable as long as this would not make any difference and would not affect the relationship with your spouse like what you described above. In fact, it would rather make the relationship sweeter, isn't it? However, as what you mentioned also, there should always be a limitation and shouldn't be done regularly.:-)
@linben (132)
21 Nov 07
I don't think honesty would harm a relationship. It will help develop better mutual understanding and trust which will make sure a happy couple. Lying, on the other hand, could destroy or ruin any kind of ralationship. If you married someone, there should be privacy stuff among you two. You would not like to marry someone with many privacies or secrets, cos you may even wonder if you know this guy at all.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
That's true! Honesty can build intimacy and trust, so I think this is important especially if you're planning to marry someone.:-)
@nishurs (582)
• India
21 Nov 07
yes too much truth telling will hurt relations and I have gone through such times
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Yeah, you're right. I think everyone has experienced this as well. :-)
• India
21 Nov 07
Hi braveheart07! Too much of truth telling can hurt a relationship. This happens because those in relationship when the fight or do a verbal bashing use these information against the partner to hurt them. I do not agree that there should be secrets between married couples. If the secret comes to be known in future it would cause more harm.But one should also realise that whatever happened was in the past and if he partner is faithful to you in the present nothing else should matter.
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
I agree with you! I believe that secrets could harm the relationship especially if these are intended to be known with your partner as well, so as much as possible you have to weigh all the necessary things that are reasonable to be told and unnecessary things that are reasonable to be kept secret.:-)
@youless (86444)
• Guangzhou, China
21 Nov 07
I think it is true. No matter how close you are with your spouse, both of you still need your own privacy. You don't have to tell every truth to your spouse. Sometimes the truth will be hurtful. Telling the beautiful lies are sometimes necessary. Such as if your wife is so fat, you don't have to say it.
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Yeah, you're definitely right. I think privacy does still play an important role here no matter how close you are with your partner. It's a matter of showing respect to yourself and to your spouse as well.:-)
@hyzz1982 (1040)
• China
21 Nov 07
of coure. i think we should keep a little secret. that is not lie. the secret is not a thing that will hurt anyone. or the secret is a lie. never lie to your partner or you will be sorry and not been forgiven forever.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
That's true. I think there is nothing wrong if we keep a little secret to ourselves, as long as it may not affect the relationship with your partner.:-)
• China
21 Nov 07
The white lie sometimes is also a kind of loving body now. Even if the couple.
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Yeah, white lie is acceptable especially if this would make the issue much better. By the way, welcome to mylot.:-)
• United States
21 Nov 07
That depends, sometimes it is great to tell the truth, it sets a person free, but I guess that there are some situations were the truth should stay a secret.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
That's true! There are things that are too vulgar and confidential and should remain secret as possible for your privacy as well.:-)
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Yeh as they say truth hurts..
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
I agree! Sometimes truth hurts especially if you're not aware that telling the truth would make the issue bigger, instead of anticipating a good result. Take care! :-)
@nickventere (1424)
• Zambia
21 Nov 07
The old adage "Too much of anything is not good" best fits to this situation. i think telling too much truth to a partner can also be harmful: to the person being told, to the one confessing, and indeed to the relationship itself. Take, for instance, a situation at the work place. You tell your partner that at the office you accidently bumped into this person, and during a "sorrY' embrace your lips touched; you froze there and didn't realise what was happening. The partner being told will not take kindly to this report. They will conclude that something is going on, and yet it was just some spontaneous occurrence, like we al go through on a daily basis.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
I agree from what you've said. Too much of anything is not good. There are things that are too vulgar and shouldn't be told to your partner like what you described above. I think it's still acceptable just for the sake of protecting yourself and to avoid misunderstanding.:-)
@deepu123 (104)
• India
21 Nov 07
yes...i lost someone
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Welcome to mylot deepu123!:-)
@kurtbiewald (2629)
• United States
21 Nov 07
i kinda think telling the truth is ALWAYS better than lies and half truths, with ourselves and with each other its how you build trust and a lasting relationship if there is any shot at it, its that
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Yeah, that's true. Honesty is also one of the basis of having a long-lasting relationship.:-)
@Zelmarq (11509)
• Cebu City, Philippines
21 Nov 07
Flood in our place - Flooding
No matter what it takes to tell the truth, even if I cry I will tell it to my parner. In a relationship there should be honesty coz its a strong foundation of any relationship. By bieng honest you show your respect, despite the hurt its ok to handle that than living in a lie. No matter how much people lie the truth will be revealed and its nice living in an honest relationship.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
I believe that honesty makes the foundation of the relationship to become stronger and intact. Infidelity is one of the examples of not being honest and faithful to your spouse, which may likely lead to broken family or divorce.:-)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
too much of anything is bad for your health :-) i guess in a relationship, there are things that you need to be honest about and there things that you need to be silent about not lie :-) i do believe that no matter how intimate you become to each other, for self propriety i think you need keep something for yourself, those that won't really matter in your relationship but do matter to yourself. I believe that the truth shall set you free. Question: which truth? and which will it set free? from what ? ( just being intuitive)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
Yeah, that's true. There are things that are not relevant and would not harm or make any difference if you're not going to tell it from your spouse anyway. I think there are things that we ought to tell and things that are not supposed to tell, but this depends totally upon its relevance and irrelevance. :-)