Why are parents not showing up to the schools?

United States
November 20, 2007 5:51pm CST
Today my daughter had her thanksgiving lunch at school. Only three parents showed up for the event. It was so much food it was crazy. It was the second time parents did not attend something. Now I know that people are working and minding kids. But there is no excuse for only 3 parents to show up. 2 parents took off work. I have back orders on my website for bags. I took the time off sewing to go. I even walked across town in the rain and felt like I would pass out. It's getting to be sad for the pta.
4 people like this
19 responses
@devilsangel (1817)
• United States
21 Nov 07
The thing is not everyone has the ability to take off work to attend a function at their childs school. There are probably parents who also didn't even know about it. Just because it is passed out in a news letter and sent home with the child doesn't mean the parent always gets it. You can't sit and judge parents because they were not able to show up for something thats going on in the middle of their work day. What may seem like an easy task for some might not be that way for others. Without knowing each and every parent there you can't sit and judge them based off of them not showing up.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Nov 07
I totally agree. Some families can't afford to take even a few hours off. I know we were like that in the last years. Even if my husband missed 3 hours in one week we couldn't pay our bills and would be behind. I missed out on everything the first 2 years my daughter was in school because they took place while my husband was working and he had the car. And taking him to work wasn't an options since he had to be there at 5am which meant we had to be out the house at 4am and no one to watch our kids so they had to come with us. I went to my first parent teacher conference a couple weeks ago even though this is my daughter's 3rd year in school. Last year we lived in another state and the school was so far away the only way to get there was by car. I didn't have a car so I couldn't get there. It wasn't that I didn't care or didn't want to go, I just couldn't. Plain and simple. The only even we went to was her Kindergarten Family Day because it happened to fall on a day my husband had off. It was the first time we met her teacher and it was a few weeks before school ended. I never even met her 1st grade teacher but we did e-mail a few times.
@hhhxxccc (222)
• United States
20 Nov 07
Yes. It has become quite a pity that parents can't take a few hours off to come JUST ONE event at their child's school. If you notice, the children that seem to be the most rounded, are the ones that have the parents being involved in their child's education and social life.
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
i agree with you hhh, hello and welcome to mylot too.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 07
sadly school has become more of a day care for alot of these kids. WHere parents forget about their kids for the day. I'm not saying its all parents but sad to say it's alot. How could a parent miss an event like that. It was a big deal.. I noticed the same though at the beginning of the school year at a parent teacher night. There were so many parents not there. This is where you actually get to sit down with all your kids new teachers, how could a parent not attend something like that. I am very active in my son schooling. Yes it involves missing work some days, but it's so worth it.
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Nov 07
Parents need to be involved in their children's lives, otherwise the children feel like their parents are unreliable.
1 person likes this
@jennyp08 (68)
• United States
21 Nov 07
You know what, I totally agree to what you are saying.I don't know why parents these days don't seem to care about their children's schooling or special events that is going on anymore.That's soo sad!
1 person likes this
@linben (132)
21 Nov 07
It's a pitty that only few parents showed up to the schools. And you are so admirable to walk across town in the rain to attend the event with your daughter. She must be very happy and will rememer this for a life time. People got too much things to do now and don't spend much time with kids. Maybe the coming holidays will help!!
1 person likes this
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
I don show up in my sons school and just to give a good facade in my co parents who i call the gossiplandia girls.. i dont mix up with people like that.. i rather show my natural me only in special occasions or my son did something that needs to see the guidance counselor..correct!
1 person likes this
@roniroxas (10576)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
oh yes that is all so true. i have 3 kids in high school and we celebrated family day at school, there are only few parents or guardians who attended the school activity and to say that it was a saturday. i think that is one of the reasons why children of the new generations act really wild because parents are too busy working and dont have time to spend with their kids. i mean it is really a hard responsibility like me i am a single parent but i still find time to be with my children. children grows fast and we parents grows old. if we wont spend time with them i am sure they wont find time for us when they are grown up already for we did not find time too when they are still growing up. what they see is what they will learn
1 person likes this
@wiccania (3360)
• United States
21 Nov 07
I'd love to participate in family activities in my son's school. I don't for 2 reasons. The least of the two is that I don't have transportation. I could probably figure out the public transportation system and go to some of the activities but then there's the second reason. If my son saw me at school, he wouldn't let me leave, or would freak out so badly that I'd have to take him home. He's Autistic and has some separation issues. He's fine getting on the bus and going to school, but if I were to drop him off, he wouldn't let me leave or wouldn't stay. Basically the break in the routine would disrupt him so much that it wouldn't be worth it to spend that time with him. I hope that in a couple of years I'll be able to do things like that with him. I can't believe only 3 parents showed up. That's just ridiculous.
1 person likes this
• India
21 Nov 07
nice picture - how nice
This is just because of the interests they are ahowing towards the activities of the school.i can tell you what exactly their mentality is,they fell its just a simple and insignificant function for which they dont think they need to spend their valuable time from their office where as others are just lazy to attend it.i do agree that its not a very important function that really changes your way of living,but as far as your child is concerned,they expect you to be present there as they take it as a very big function.what the child feels when you dont attend such a program is that you are not taking care of them and you dont think they are important to you.this might hear to be silly,but thats a fact and this can lead to serious psychological disorders.i think if possible,parents must attend such functions.
@nyumix (1661)
• Belgium
30 Nov 07
I have few times party in my daughter's school. But so far, all the parents from the children always come there. If it is not the mother than the father will be there. We are living in small village, they like to meet and see each other parents in the school.
@lbinkley (1078)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I too think it is sad that parents don't take the time and effort to show up to anything at their child's school. I myself ama a stay at home mom, and I also have a three month old baby at home. My husband's job has him gone 2/3 of the year. With this in mind, I still feel GUILTY if there is an event at my son's school that I can not attend. I have already chaperoned a field trip this year, gone in to two assembly's, joined him for lunch, and next week I am volunteering in his classroom. But even if parents are working and busy, I am sure there is still something they can do!
@suspenseful (40316)
• Canada
30 Nov 07
When my boys went to school, we did not go to the Pta, but we were sure to attend the concerts and at Christmas. I do not recall them having a thanksgiving lunch, but I know we had remembrance day and then I would go, but it was so long, and my sons are in their thirties. Mind you my mother never attended a pta meeting either and only went to the Christmas, etc. concerts. I really did not mind. I think it has to do with being busy, and not feeling you can contribute anything. It is usually better when the event is in the evening or on a Friday, because the way things are, people have to work longer hours at low pay and cannot afford to go. Even the mothers are working.
• United States
22 Nov 07
A lot of parents just cannot afford to take off of work for certain activities at school. It's great that some parents can. Some can't. Some jobs just don't pay enough for them to take off work all the time for every single school activity. As long as the children get a nice thanksgiving at home, I think it's quite alright that they didn't attend the school function.
22 Nov 07
I don't know if this might have anything to do with it, but I know, when my mother was expected to come to anything at school, I just never used to tell her, even when we were told parents' attendance was mandatory, no one ever really used to bring their parents, it was more a social thing than anything else - no one wanted to be embarrassed by their parents, so they simply wouldn't tell them that their presence was required.
@muralimn (535)
• United Arab Emirates
21 Nov 07
It is really bad and it happens because most of the parents, both father and mother, are working. May be it is really difficult for some people to get a day off. It is really sad from child point of view.
21 Nov 07
I find it disgusting... My mum would always volunteer even if nobody else did and she hated it- just to try and help out! I hate the fact that parents will complain about the smallest things to teachers yet they don't co-operate and help out with the teachers!
@ctrymuziklvr (11060)
• United States
21 Nov 07
I know it's sad. My daughter goes to just about everything at my granddaughters school and she's a single parent. I've even gone with her when I can and am always amazed at the lack of other parents there. These are all children with disabilities and you would think they would be more interested wouldn't you?
• India
21 Nov 07
People are becoming very busy nowadys and i feel people should really think about it and should find time for themselves , at least for their kids.. anyway the world is becoming buzier day by day Regards Harry