binky support

@syndibee (799)
United States
November 21, 2007 12:44am CST
my son is 20 months old and more attached than ever to his pacifier...how do you suggest gentle weaning???
4 responses
• United States
22 Nov 07
I started to break my youngest when she was about 16 months old. I just told her she was a big girl and didn't need to have her binky all the time and when she got up in the morning I made her leave it in her bed. She was not a happy camper at first. The first day I gave in after about a half hour of her whining and crying (I was separated from my husband at the time trying to deal with 4 kids on my own). The next day she made it a couple of hours. The next day I made her take it out herself and put it down before I would get her up and when she wanted it back a couple hours later I told her she had to take a nap to get it. By day 5 she was volunteering to go down for a nap just to get her binky. She would either pull me into her room or try to climb into her bed. It was so cute. By the beginning of September she wasn't using it all during the day, only at nap time and bedtime and when I would go to get her up she would take it out and put it down without me asking. Then my husband came back and he can't deny her anything and here she is--19 months old with the dang binky hanging out of her mouth all day. Ugh. So I'm starting over, yet again. She left them just fine today in her crib but then an hour later I found her with one. She can't get them out of her bed (it is a pack n play so she can't just reach in there to get them). I found out my husband gave it to her. Ugh. I never forced my other girls to give it up. My oldest was 2 and lost her last one and that was it. She never had one again (she had just turned 2 the week before that). My other daughter was 2 1/2 and I persuaded her to give it up when I got pregnant again. I told her we needed to save them for the new baby and she finally agreed. My son never took one.
@syndibee (799)
• United States
22 Nov 07
i know what you are saying. my husband is always giving our son his binky...i keep telling him i want him to stop taking it and if he's not asking then don't offer it. we were at his moms for thanksgiving dinner today and he told them all "we" were trying to break the binky habit but then two minutes later he found it and is calling our son over to get it. i just don't get it......he wasn't asking for it or even missing it at the time..now that ticked me off.
@Sillychick (3282)
• United States
21 Nov 07
Cold turkey is the way to go here. Children are very resilient and adaptable. Choose a time when things are calm, when there are no unusual stressors present, such as a move or starting a new day care. Then pick the time. And just do it. Maybe have him trade it for a new blankie or stuffed animal to sleep with, or tell him you're giving it to a little baby who needs it, whatever you think will satisfiy him. Then when you take it, get rid of it. Don't save it 'just in case.' If you give it back to him when he gets upset, it will make it that much harder to take it next time. He will probably have a hard time for a day or two, but he will get over it surprisingly fast, probably faster than you. If you think this is too fast, maybe try just limiting it to bed time for a couple of weeks first. Give it to him when he goes to bed, and leave it in bed when he gets up. Once he masters that, take it for good.
@syndibee (799)
• United States
21 Nov 07
i think cold turkey seems to be the general concensus here. i find that he craves it more the older he gets thus i don't want to hold on too much longer....tho i need to find those hidden ones that i can't find before i do this method or he'll come out with a binky in his mouth and i'll have to try to break him 4 times (we have four somewhere around the house lost at the moment).
@wmaharper (2316)
• United States
21 Nov 07
When my oldest was about 18 months, we decided to wean him, as he was waking in the middle of the night when he lost it. So, we started by limiting it's use to sleeping times only. After about a week, we just did it cold turkey. He was too young to understand any kind of reasoning behind it at that age.. it worked out fine. He woke up crying off and on the first two nights, by the third night he was sleeping soundly from then on. plus he was getting better rest b/c he wasn't waking to find his paci. It worked great for us.. and him..but some people can't go cold turkey. Given his age, I don't know of a gentle approach. I have heard that if you poke a whole in the nipple, the child will no longer be able to suck efficiently and he will lose interest, so that may work too. I think that the most important thing is to be determined. There will be crying and whining and maybe even tantrums.. but if you want to wean him, make up your mind that you will, regardless of how he responds, and have a good support system for yourself, so that when you feel like giving in, you have someone there reminding you why you want to do this.. (: Good luck to you.
@syndibee (799)
• United States
21 Nov 07
i have heard of the poking holes in them, but have also read that if you do that you are creating a choking hazard for your child....i really hope nobody pokes holes in their childs pacifiers...i'd much rather go the cold turkey route, it's safer.
@ayou82 (3460)
• Philippines
21 Nov 07
I had a same old problem with my youngest too.. she cries over her pacifier..i really took away from her.. as in really totally took away from her and tell her the tooth fairy will be very angry because hard for the lil fairies to grow.. hehehe funny but it works..
@syndibee (799)
• United States
21 Nov 07
thanx for this suggestion, i think this may be similar to what we do also. lol i try to get him to give it to me to put in my pocket for him then he forgets about it, but that method isn't working anymore...he just shakes his head no lol.