is it painful to be single?

China
November 23, 2007 9:25am CST
I am 22years old.I am single.These days,some guys took pity on me just because I do not have a boyfriend!I wonder,is love neccessary in one's youth life?I think finding the lover is not the most important things I should do now.I mean ,true love is significant to our life,but not now.AI don't care that I am single.On the contrary,I enjoy my life.I should not care about what others say.What's your opinion?Do you think to be single is painful?why or why not?
5 people like this
37 responses
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
24 Nov 07
I think only you can answer that question in this case. Some people feel that relationship is necessity to have someone share feelings and have a shoulder to cry on. You may think best friend is the perfect solution, but if your best friend has a boyfriend, you will see that things change a bit or a lot. Nobody is strong enough to be single forever. It's true you don't have to listen to others, but you also have to be honest to yourself. Ask yourself why are you still single, what do you expect from a relationship that somehow you don't see anyone can give, have you ever had a crush and what happened. Before you can love anybody, you must know yourself, and this is not an easy thing to do. If you never love, then when true love comes, you will not realize it and end up losing it.
1 person likes this
• China
27 Nov 07
You are really a person of insight. I have thought these questions you ask me. Why I am still single now.I always ascribe it to No right men. I never thought about the possibility that it's me who make myself in such situation.Maybe I expect too much in a relationship.It's time for me to realize myself.And be honest to myself.Thank you for you advice!Have a good time:)
1 person likes this
@LittleMel (14055)
• Canada
29 Nov 07
just trying to help. I don't have anybody to tell me this when I was your age. enjoy being single now, you'll find that there are things you can't do if you're not single anymore :)
@mykmari_08 (2466)
• Philippines
26 Nov 07
You are much too young to be worrying yourself with these issues. On my own point of view, you should do what your heart really desires to do for now and enjoy every moment of your singleblessedness. There are a lot of things you could do to brush the thought of acquiring a partner from your head. If you have enough capital, you could start your very own business. This way, you're passing time and at the same time, earning for your future needs. And if in the future, you finally decide to be engaged or get married and start your own family, you won't have to worry a lot financially. Or maybe study another course. You could enhance yourself more by learning different crafts, too. These are just a few of the varied things you can do; but whatever you choose, do love yourself and be happy. God bless and take a lot of care.
• China
4 Dec 07
thanks for remind me that i still have so many things to do. You are right ,i must prepare for my future.it's just the right time to mold myself to be good. have a good time:)
• Philippines
24 Nov 07
It's hard to stay single in this world especially when people expect you to be with somebody special like a boyfriend. You are still young so just enjoy single hood. It's not about having no choice. It's about making intelligent choices. But keep your heart open for potential lover. Don't rush into falling in love. that is why it's called "falling" in love, you just fall and you don't forced yourself to be in that situation.Love never runs out. One text message I receive from a friend about being single goes like: "...God is just busy creating the perfect story that will swept me off my feet."
• China
26 Nov 07
yeah,we fall in love but not be forced in love.It's funny! I am still young,It's my freedom to make the choice. Believe that there is a good man who will sweep me off my feet. It's excited.But I should live my life even there is no one. Thanks for response.All the best:)
• United States
24 Nov 07
I agree with you. Finding a lover shouldn't be a priority. If you happen to find one then congragulations but you or any one else don't have to spend a lot of time and money on finding a mate. I heard that getting your heart broken feels bad so maybe it is better to never of loved then to love and lost. Just maybe I am not sure.
1 person likes this
• China
25 Nov 07
I am not sure too.I have been thinking about this problem for a long time.But have no answers.May be it's up to people's character.someone enjoy the love game to love and lost.someone not! But how can we meet the right person if we don't join this game. That's really the problem. have a good day:)
• United States
24 Nov 07
I am 57 years old and married and still I felt like answering your question. I have 3 unmarried children and I know that sometimes it is sad to be alone and I hope that you have a lot of friends or a job that satisfies you. This is very important. As about love, it provides a good feeling but it never lasts for ever. Marriage is not all about love, it is also about qualities you are looking for in a partner, for some others it is about financial security and others will stick to love. On the other hand, if you are enjoying your single status, I think you can still afford it because you are really very young. Being single is not painful if you have goals and friends but at a certain point in life, you feel the need to be shouldered. But there is no guarantee in life, just enjoy it as much as you can and keep your ethics safe. Best Regards, Esther
1 person likes this
• China
25 Nov 07
Hi,assertive.Happy to see you here.I am luck to have lots of friendg to talk to . When I am in bad emotions like lonely,hurt,streeful or something else,they always be there to help me get through these hard time. I really appreciate them !I also appreciate your understanding.Sometimes i really need to be shouldered. Take care:)
@wseayuan (374)
• China
25 Nov 07
I think we should be serious and careful in finding a partner.it is lucky to find a suitable partner.i am now also single .maybe sometimes it is painful to be single ,but you can spent the time in some senseful things like sports ,reading .lover is not all of the life ,we have many things that we can do.
• Philippines
25 Nov 07
I agree. about the being "choosy" bit. And while waiting for that someone to come along (if ever he comes along), keep busy with sensible things and giving your love to other people. :)
• China
2 Dec 07
Thank you for your advice.There is still so many things i can do .lol Best wishes:)
@httpx0 (302)
• France
23 Nov 07
I'm single and i've never been with a man for more than 6 months. I still haven't found a guy that I really like but I don't mind staying single for the moment. I like to take care of myself and I need to be alone very often. So I don't care that i'm single too. You shouldn't care about what other say, it's your life and your free to do whatever you want with it. Plus, you don't have to have a boyfriend if you don't love him just because some guys took pity on you :) Enjoy your life, we're young (i'm 21) and I think we have time to find true love, you should not want things to happen to fast and finish your life with a man you don't even like :) But thanks for creating this discussion, it's nice to see other's opinions
• China
25 Nov 07
Well ,it's nice to see you opinoin here!It's so hard for me to find the right man.But I am pacient enough to wait.Sometimes,I care about what others say.But not always.It seems that when I am not strong enough,I easily get hurt!That night ,the guy show pity,I guess,he think he show kind to me.I never consider the pity as kind.Now,i feel better.Most time in my life,I take good care of myself,I have dreams to make it came true.I relly enjoy my life,except some moment,like that night.Thank you for sharing your notion.Have a good day!
@httpx0 (302)
• France
25 Nov 07
my pleasure :) I hope you'll find the right man, but now that you're single, enjoy your "freedom" :D
@terrych (1227)
• United States
23 Nov 07
Hey dear, do not worry about age and being single, the right person will come to your life in the right moment, for now enjoy the life you have... beacuase believe it is better to be alone that have bad company... Have a great weekend!
• China
24 Nov 07
Yes,I am waiting for the right person.I think maybe not everyone can find her MR.Right in her life!It's ok!What we need to do is enjoying our current life with less regrets.It's very nice of you to comfort me.Thank you!
@terrych (1227)
• United States
24 Nov 07
Yes, I agree with you dear, you may find that right person, or you may not... but I believe you will... but again this life is so short so enjoy it, and it is up to you how you feel about being single, in my case I am happy the way I am...
@rmuxagirl (7568)
• United States
28 Apr 08
At first it was painful because like you said people looked with pity, but i found it better to not care and enjoy life as is. I was happy with being single and that's when I found someone wonderful.
• China
30 Apr 08
sometimes i feel lonely ,almost time i enjoy the single life. i have not meet the right man.i dont want to push myself into a relationship just become i need it. best wishes:)
28 Apr 08
it's not painful..you're still so young..you enjoy life being single because when you tend to indulge in a relationship, you have to adjust for your partner to the point that you have to learn to know what they want..
• China
30 Apr 08
it is hard to know what others want. i shouldn't care what others say.i just want to be myself and be happy. it's reluctant for me to change myself, to change the way i live. thanks for response ,good luck!
@JoanPang (13)
• Macau
6 Mar 08
As we are young now,there are many things that wait us to do.Busy always keep us from thinking about the lonely in our heart.All of us need courage to chase the right person who will company with our last life when we get old. Don't be afraid--At least,I be there and support you.
• China
29 Apr 08
thank you for supporting. i am sure that all of us will meet the right person in the right time. Take care:)
• Pakistan
1 Dec 07
We are social animals. We can not live alone. We need companion, partner, friend and also lover. Male is for female and female is for male. They born, grow and then the grown start the same process and complete the cycle. This process is not confined to a human being. This is also nature of animals, insects, plants and every living thing in this universe. None could live alone or single and it is really painful to be single for every one. So you should become double if you can.
• China
4 Dec 07
i definitely agree with you here.I'll try to become double.lol thanks for response.good luck:)
@laurika (4536)
• United States
29 Nov 07
I think it is good to be single and it is your choice and also I see you are only 22 years old , so what the hury? but also it depends on the country where are you from. Because I guess in some coutries when the person is single in your age, the people can take it the way like they should be sorry for you. But anyway i think you have plenty time to meet someone and fall in love. there is really no hury.
• China
4 Dec 07
yeah,there is no need to hurry. it's just sometime i feel lonely.I need someone special to share me with the happiness,sadness or anything else.lol thanks for response.good luck:)
• India
28 Nov 07
Hi Moliliuzu! I can relate with you.I have been married for over 12 years and recently got seperated. I am a working woman and stay alone. I always see guys (even married ones and those even old enough to be my father) trying to flirt with me and asking me for a date and more. Now eventhough I am steady with my boyfriend I wonder why some guys think they are the gift of god every female should possess.
• China
4 Dec 07
in fact ,they are not gift.man and women are needed each other. lol.nice to see that you are now steady with your boyfriend. Be hoppy:}
• South Korea
28 Nov 07
why don't you look for a BF? that is the thing and the real answer is known yourself.
• China
2 Dec 07
lol,if i could i will. in fact,i don't know the answer myself. anyway,thanks for response.good luck:)
@nengs10 (3188)
• Philippines
25 Nov 07
Its not painful but its too lonely that no one will understand and love as.But I believe that the right time will come to have a speciel someone.That will love you forever and accept who ever you are.
• China
2 Dec 07
Oh ,thanks for good wishes. have fun:)
• China
25 Nov 07
maybe,I am single till the last week.and i am 27 years old, I have no time to think this question.I am busy very busy. everyday i need to do a lot of things. eventhough I don't know why i do it. I want find a girlfriend but I am afraid I can't give her the wonderful life. I am a good man I think myself,,,hey hey
• China
2 Dec 07
wow,it sounds that you have a wonderful life.there is many sensible things for you to do.If you meet the girl you love,don't give up even you are not sure of giving her a wonderful life.Just try.lol.Maybe you'll find that the world is so beautiful. thanks for comment.good luck:)
@theprogamer (10539)
• United States
25 Nov 07
It depends on where you are and what your situation is. For me its not so painful (probably the only relationship I miss is one with a childhood sweetheart). Single life when compared to other "grown-up" relationships is a step above. Its not painful at all, and I'm pretty happy where I'm at. I have time to live my life on my terms.
• China
2 Dec 07
wow,it's so good that you are pretty happy now. I wish you could live a happy life all the time. Mealwhile i will learn the knowledge about how to make my single life wonderful and be happy!If others can enjoy the single life,there is no reason to block me go ahead a better single life. anyway,thanks for comment.good luck:)
@asgtswife04 (2482)
• United States
25 Nov 07
No, I don't think that having a relationship at a young age is important at all. Quite honestly, young people need to know themselves and what they want out of life before they involve someone else and their wants and needs. It's important to find out who you are and what you want in not only life, but in a spouse or lover. Don't worry at all about still being single. Enjoy it. Relationships can not only be great, but there are alot of trials and troubles with them as well. Good luck and God bless
• China
2 Dec 07
Yes,the important thing i should do now is to know who I am .To know what i can do, to know what i like to do.It's essential to my life. when i can live good alone i think it's easy to find the right person.lol have good time:)
@p0wcheee (97)
• Philippines
25 Nov 07
In my case, it's hard not to long for a boyfriend when the people around you are moving in twos, like in a relationship. It's weird how I would always be the person in between so that I could bring them together and give profound love advices when in fact I've never been in a relationship! I am always the bridge but never the girlfriend. Boys never took me seriously.. I am always just the friend or the 'motherly' one in the group. :( But I don't think romantic love is not necessary in one's youth. it comes when it comes. you can always fuse your love to something or someone who would be worth your time, like your family or friends or your academe. heehee. Well, at least that's what am trying to do right now. find a different outlet for this potential love energy. :)
• China
2 Dec 07
For me ,it's weird that i am the person between two person who are in relationship.lol. I don't care to act such a role.It's funny and i enjoy it. I feel that when i am told about such things ,i am a person that people can trust. That good.No matter when i am single or not,i wish those person i care can live a happy life.So i am patient to listen to them. thanks for comment.Have a good time:)