Friends In Need

@worldwise1 (14885)
United States
November 28, 2007 12:34pm CST
I was devastated last year when my sister passed away unexpectedly, and a few months later my mother also passed. My good friend was there throughout both ordeals for me. Now her step-father passed last night, and it is my turn to be there for her. I don't want to smother her, but I am doing all that I can to make her know that I am available if she needs me. Do you think this is the right thing for me to do? I don't drive, so I cannot help her there-and she doesn't need that. Is it OK to just be there when she needs someone to talk to or a shoulder to cry on?
7 people like this
8 responses
• United States
29 Nov 07
Yes. You are doing the right thing. She knows that you are there for her and whenever she needs to talk, she will call.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Nov 07
Take Care.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
29 Nov 07
Thank you for the words of support, sarah. I will be available for her.
2 people like this
@carolbee (16230)
• United States
28 Nov 07
You are such a good friend to offer your shoulder at a time your friend really needs you. You've made her aware of how you feel and I'd let her make any decisions about calling, etc. This way you won't feel like you are smothering her.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
29 Nov 07
I couldn't do any less, carolbee, because she has been a loyal friend to me for many years. I just wish I didn't feel so inadequate.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
3 Dec 07
There's no need to feel this way. When you are in touch with your friend it will be giving her a chance to distance herself from the sadness that must be surrounding her. Conversations don't have to be dark and sombre. Reminiscing can be about happy times. You know yourself that their is nothing inadequate about the love and support of a good friend at a time like this.
@GardenGerty (157552)
• United States
29 Nov 07
From what I have seen of you here, you offer a very real presence, and you seem to be the kind of person that if I needed to talk, at 3:00 am, you would talk, you would listen, and you would realize that right at that time I needed you, and it would not be forever, so if I woke you up, so what? I guess I am saying that you seem like the kind of friend she might need.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
29 Nov 07
I feel pretty sure that she knows I will do whatever it takes, GG. We have been there for each other through thick and thin.
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
28 Nov 07
I think that is a great idea. If you can't be with her in person, just being available to talk over the phone or on the Internet is a nice thing to do.
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
29 Nov 07
We do tend to burn up the phone lines, sigma. She won't get the internet although I have tried to encourage her to do so.
1 person likes this
@secretbear (19448)
• Philippines
3 Dec 07
i think so. my bestfriend would come to me at times when she wants someone to talk to, just talk you know.. sometimes she would just call me if ever she has problems and it would make her feel a little better.. just pouring her feelings to me eases her heavy feelings. sometimes even just our presence our enough to make a depressed person feel a little better. friends bring comfort in many ways, even as simple as just being there. ^__^
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
3 Dec 07
You are right, secretbear, and I feel lucky to have her as a friend for the many years we have known each other.
1 person likes this
@fab315 (1231)
• Philippines
3 Dec 07
Hello! I think you're doing the right thing. Making her feel that you're there anytime she needs you and sending her the message that you care. Your friend is lucky to have you as a friend and i'm sure she knows that. Take care. *smile* ciao! c",)
1 person likes this
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
3 Dec 07
Thanks, fab, and, yes, I have been constantly reassuring her that I am here whenever she needs me.
1 person likes this
@hoghoney (3747)
• United States
3 Dec 07
I think as long as she knows that you are there for her if ever needed could also be a comfort for her. When the time comes that she is going to need your friendship then she will know that you are there. Big Hugs to your friend and you.
@cherriemae (3370)
• Philippines
5 Dec 07
I think it's your time now to be there for your friend..I'm sure she needs you at this time...Yes, it's alright for you to be there for her she needs someone to talk to and a shoulder to cry on..this is the time that she really needs a friend to be her.