Now John is scared of marriage and Mistrusts all women- Advise him.

By Nic
@academic2 (7009)
Uganda
November 29, 2007 2:31am CST
John is currently a broken down man. His wife of 5 years who worked in a reputable business firm in Kampala died last months. They had a baby girl of about 3 years. 6 months ago, the wife returned home from work only to tell the husband that she had a business trip in Cape Town South Africa. John saw her to the Airport, completely unaware that she was simply going to South Africa on a Joy Trip with her ex Boyfriend. For a full week this woman had good time with her ex boy friend away from her husband and daughter. When she returned, the faithful husband was there at the Airport to receive her. They returned home happily, the husband completely believing she was returning from a business trip. One week later, she got a phone call from her ex boyfriend with a piece of news that changed everything. The ex Boyfriend told her that he had always been jealous of her marriage with John and that he actually lured her to South Africa to literally get her infected with HIV/AIDS. He added that he had infected her over the one full week they had in South Africa. This lady could not believe her ears-she cried her heart out and later called her husbnd and told him the whole truth. She pleaded for forgiveness and accepted blame. She asked the her husband to go with her for HIV testing. Amazingly, the Husband was found to be negative but she was positive. John, the husband did not throw her out of the marrital Home, infact he nursed her until her death last month, now John is so scared of marriage, and appears to fear all women, what words do you have for John?
3 people like this
6 responses
• United States
29 Nov 07
I would point out to John that while his wife betrayed him, this is not a trait peculiar to women. There are men just as bad. Consider the ex boy friend. He committed murder for practical purposes. There is no greater betrayal. The point being there is no reason to mistrust women more then men. Distrust everyone until they have proven themselves to you. John should think of this situation whenever he might doubt personal integrity and character are important. No person of integrity and character would ever have done what happened here. Eventually, John can find someone else. Until then he certainly should watch out and be careful. He is correct to not trust people, but there are others who are worthy, just like him.
1 person likes this
@academic2 (7009)
• Uganda
30 Nov 07
I think John needs to hear these words you are saying,the case of his unfaithful wife does not condemn the entire women species in this world,because like there men just as bad and he needs to take his time and find a woman who passes the test of trust. He Needs to be careful and like you say, watchful! thanks for this response redyellowblackdog
• China
30 Nov 07
John may be a good husband in my mind.But why his wife deceived him? That is the very problem. John,here I want to say,just believe life will be beauty again and everything will turn right!!! come on!John all my best wishes
@garnet80 (354)
• Australia
30 Nov 07
What a wonderful man. Not many people would have done what he has done. I feel sorry for the child growing up without a Mother. There are decent people out there that will treat a person right. Not all people will cheat. One thing I have to agree with that I've hear though is that once a person cheats they usually will do it again and again.
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Wow that's a sad story but I don't know if I totally believe it. That is very quick to die of AIDS of only 6 months. I thought it took that long to really show any the symptoms after infection, maybe longer, but I'm no AIDS expert so what to I know. I does sound a little suspicious. If John doesn't want to get married again that's him but he should realize that not all people are the same. There are good and bad in everyone. Just because he had one experience with his wife doesn't mean all women will be the same.
• India
30 Nov 07
The way things are shaping up over the world, marriage has become more of a lottery than a life-long commitment. Either you win a jackpot or lose everytime. If John wants to remarry, he has to take the risk. You cant blame a spouse for leaving a marriage half-way through or take him/her for granted any more. The best for John would be to hire a help for his daughter or send her to some good boarding school and after he gets over his shock, the world and its women are there for him.
@sid556 (31002)
• United States
30 Nov 07
Time. John needs time to heal. He has been thru a horrible ordeal and his heart has been broken. It really really hurts to trust and then find that we placed our trust in the wrong hands. Betrayal hurts. John needs to realize that he can not realistically base his judgement of all women and relationships on this one very bad experience with one person. Not all women cheat and lie. I have had many bad experiences in relationships. I learn from each relationship and move on. I don't set up big expectations any more. I don't expect anything to last "forever". I just enjoy the relationship while it is good. Who knows, maybe it will always be good...I try to make sure I do my part to keep it so. I work to not let poision from a past relationship infect my current one. The best thing that i've done for myself is to learn to be "ok" on my own. I don't need a relationship and yet I'm also not opposed to one. To deny yourself such pleasure because of one or even two or three people that have hurt you, is only hurting yourself.