Do you find it hard to play the wife role?

United States
November 29, 2007 3:36pm CST
If you are a live-in girlfriend do you ever find it a challenge to play the wife role? Like cooking and cleaning? Do you cook and clean for your partner at all? I do it everyday and I don't let him lift a finger. I believe a woman should do these things and any man will be happy to have a woman like that.
3 people like this
10 responses
• United States
30 Nov 07
i've been living with my boyfriend for about a month and 2weeks or so and i'm the same way. at meal times i ask him what he wants and tell him i'll make it for him. he offers to make it himself, but i want to make it for him. and i do the dishes and clean up the kitchen counter and all. again, he's offered to do dishes, but i want to do them for him. and if we had a working washer and dryer at the moment i'd do that too - but we don't so we go to his parent's..which i usually try to help doing it there. i just enjoy doing things like that for him. who knows if i'll still feel that way in 10, 20, 50years..but i'll still do it. :]
• United States
30 Nov 07
You won't feel like that in 10 months, much less ten years. I was like that when my fiance and I moved in together, too. It went away after about 2-3 months. It's just that it's new and fun, but it'll wear off.
• United States
30 Nov 07
I felt that way when we first moved in together, and I still do after 2 1/2 years, and I don't see it ending, mainly because he does little unexpected things for me, like getting up on the weekend to the dishes being done and coffee made, or he'll go get breakfast and bring it back for me.
• United States
30 Nov 07
palonghorn i hope i'll feel the same. i feel like i may though. my boyfriend does little, sweet things for me as well whenever he can. that always makes me want to do more for him.
@niushuang (265)
• China
30 Nov 07
Hi my friend. I can understand your mood.Because the wife not only acts wife's role at home,meanwhile acts the chef,the cleaner and so on.The wife must undertake a lot of work at home.If a wife has a fixed work,then she needs to take into consideration between the work and the family.Therefor i think a woman may undertake more then a husband. Good luck.
• United States
2 Dec 07
I agree with you...I cook and clean and all of the above for my man and it's hard but it can be done with a little effort.
@kurtbiewald (2629)
• United States
29 Nov 07
if I was you I would say Ok I will cook, no cleaning though
• United States
2 Dec 07
No cleaning!......Is your house dirty? Not trying to be funny but cleaning isn't a chore to me because I refuse to live in filth.
• United States
2 Dec 07
I will clean to much for the need of help. I will never wait on a man hand and foot. Woman have come so far in these times. It is a horrible thing to do. I have a daughter and would never raise her to wait on a man. If he wants to be with her. It's 100% for both of them. I don't cook for my man either. He loves to cook and it's a pleasure to watch and eat. He washes his own clothing and so good at that. I think this will lead to selfishness and when you really need it. He won't be able to manage. Life happens what if you lost your legs and could no longer do this?
@cutepenguin (6458)
• Canada
30 Nov 07
I think work is work, and it shouldn't really matter who does what. I do most of the cleaning, because I notice it more and am faster at it, but my husband does most of the cooking because his schedule allows for it, and because he likes to cook. I don't see why I should have to cook and clean just because I'm his wife. Since we both work full time, we should both do housework. But if you want to do the cooking and the cleaning, then that's great.
@palonghorn (5490)
• United States
30 Nov 07
I've never found that a challenge, we've both been married before, and we've been living together for over 2 years. But, I have a wonderful guy who helps out with cleaning and other stuff, we share in the bills, although he pays the bulk of them. Neither one of us are in a rush to get married, and he once told his buddy that we were perfectly content 'playing house' and I did not take that as an insult. If you have problems sharing in the cleaning or doing more than your share, (not you personally) depending on work schedules, then maybe you shouldn't be living together or married.
@wrappy (5)
• Philippines
30 Nov 07
Being a wife, person must accept that the house chores,assisting the kids,& financial budgeting, are the task that a women sometimes felt hard,but for me,we have to accept it and take it easily for you to live fine everyday.
@youless (86444)
• Guangzhou, China
30 Nov 07
Yes, it is not easy at all. One side you have to take good care of the family, the other side, perhaps you have to go out to work. You need to balance both sides well.
• United States
30 Nov 07
I have played the wife role for a long time and finally became the wife! I do most of the housework, cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, kids, etc...However a marriage and relationship is 50/50, and if you dont get your partner to help you then it will be harder when you do need the help. And believe me when I say there will come a day when you are going to want him to do something. I dont think it should be expected that the woman has to be the susie homemaker. I would gladly be the bread winner and let my husband stay home or work part time and do what I do everyday! And to be honest I doubt he could! But I love him anyway and he respects the fact that this is his home too and he can pick up after himself.
• United States
29 Nov 07
I'm a live-in fiancee and I do do somethings sometimes, but i do NOT beleive that it's solely the woman's job to do absolutely everythign in the house. I'm sorry, but that's just silly. Marriage is a partnership, chores and duties should be shared. In my house, my fiance cleans and I organize. We also share cooking because there are things he can make that I can't and things I can make that he can't. Limiting our variety becuase of some sexist, antiquated belief just doesn't make sense to me. In a relationship, both people have strengths and weaknesses, why not use each other's strengths to make life better?