Does a man need a job to feel fulfilled?

United States
November 29, 2007 8:17pm CST
My spouse was out of work for awhile. Job loss is something that happens to everyone. And, during his time off, he seemed very restless and anxious. I'm sure he was concerned about finances. But, there was more to it. I think he felt as if he needed a job. Not because we needed the money, but because he's always had a job. He always seemed listless and bored. Today, when he got back from the first day on his new job, he seemed very happy and couldn't stop talking. I haven't seen him this excited in a very long time. And, it made me wonder. Does a man need a job to feel fulfilled or worthwhile in his life? What do you think?
5 people like this
25 responses
@GardenGerty (96708)
• Marion, Kansas
30 Nov 07
We tend to still equate a person's value with what they earn, especially men. It also may be that he does not really have any recreational activities, or did not feel he deserved to participate in recreational activities, because he was not working to earn the privilege. I think a lot of people, not just men, need a job to feel fulfilled and/or valued. It is too bad, but in America we do not appreciate leisure.
@GardenGerty (96708)
• Marion, Kansas
14 Jun 08
Thanks for the BR. I hope things continue to go well.
@fredgame (1261)
• China
15 Jun 08
i think it's a vital reason. it relieves one of evil thought or deeds. when you're engage you fulfil lifetime dream as you can meet your family needs and free from begging.
@ALouie (118)
• United States
3 Dec 07
Yes. A man does need a job to feel fulfilled or worthwhile in his life. Having a standard job is in effect something that creates less anxiety and work for a man because it puts him in a comfortable position of knowing where he belongs in society. Not having a standard job creates a lot of restlessness and anxiety for men (and I imagine women too) because it creates an ambiguous response from people. Constantly working out the internal feelings to society's ambiguous responses is the atypical job that leads so called "men out of work" to feel so anxious and restless.Searching for work,wondering, wandering,running around, sitting around, is the hardest job of all, because no one respects your predicament. It makes perfect sense that your husband would be happier coming home from a new job.
@nkhanna (925)
• India
3 Dec 07
well actually in our society man is always considered to be the bread winner and so right from his childhood parents teach them to study hard so that they can earn good when they are big.its because of this mentality a man cannot see himself without a job in his hand even for a day.ladies give preferance to their child first in the same way man 's first preferance is job.
@wisedragon (2330)
• Philippines
3 Dec 07
I don't think so. There are many ways to earn money and many ways to find fulfillment. It's just that some people are like your husband. They get bored when they stay at home.
• Philippines
3 Dec 07
I also don't like the idea of just staying in the house. I like to go out to work and deal with other people. Maybe it is a sense of fulfillment to have a job. I think I should use what I have studied and learned in my years of studies in the field that is suited for it.
• United States
2 Dec 07
Hi Beautyqueen:) I think some men do, my husband certianly does. My husband has been "out of a job" twice, once due to a broken arm and once because the company he worked for went out of business. He was what I would definately call depressed by not having anywhere to go each morning and work. Even though the loss of his job was not in any way his fault I think he still felt as if he was less of a man by not having employment. He spent all day applying for work and all night worrying about not having yet found one. I think men (in general) are programmed to work hard, provide for, and defend the family against all dangers. When they aren't working they feel like they are failing in regard to those "duties". Feeling that way is good in the sense that they seek work furiously, but bad in the amount of stress they place on themselves. I'm sure glad I'm a woman. Childbirth is a walk in the park compared to being the sole provider for a family.
• United States
1 Dec 07
My boyfriend is the same way. He feels like he needs to be doing something productive ALL THE TIME. And his dad always taught him that he needed to keep a stable, good job no matter what. Needless to say, he never takes a day off and when he does, I know something is wrong.
@Meljep (1668)
• United States
30 Nov 07
There seems to be something that is ingrained in responsible males that drives them to work. This is a good thing. In most family settings the male is the hunter/gatherer and it's been like that since the beginning of time. Maybe it's something that is apart of their genes or DNA, but they do seem to be happier when they have a purpose in life. There have even been men who have gone back to work after a few months of retirement just because they couldn't stand being idle.
@simopl (1)
• Italy
30 Nov 07
what??
@Monkeyrose (2850)
• Canada
30 Nov 07
Men traditionally play the roll of the breadwinner so when they aren't gainfully employed they often feel unimportant or that they aren't doing their jobs. that beeing said, Some women are like that too now. when I don't have a job I'm restless because I'm bored.
• United States
30 Nov 07
My answer is yes!!! I won't let my hubby be home for more than three days in a row. By then he has run out of things to do and he physically cannot even stay in the house for 8 consecutive hours during the day. He's got to be busy doing something physical. Besides it is in their dna to provide for their family.
@anup12 (4181)
• India
30 Nov 07
Yes it needs to be. I think it should be.
@poohgal (6848)
• Singapore
30 Nov 07
I can understand how your husband feel. Even though I am girl, I feel uneasy if I have nothing to do. I prefer working than to slack around at home. Working provides me with a way to meet ends. Working also gives me a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction. Working also provides a platform for me to make new friends. =D
@fanji008 (782)
• China
30 Nov 07
Hi,there! Well,I think career is always important in a man's life.It's very obvious that they concern it more than women.They would feel so upset if they don't have a proper job.Most of them won't like staying at home to watch the kids while the women go to work every day.I guess it's because of the character as well as their nature.They like challenging and need to find sth to fulfill themselves.Love and family may just not be enough for that feeling:) Thanks for the discussion and best wishes for you and your husband^_^ Have a good weekend!
@heecho25 (47)
• China
30 Nov 07
i Think so, job not just for earn money but also can make a man fullfill and happy, doing work everday like a hobit if you are used to do it and used to come to one place then one day if suddenly left the working place and gave the job will feel very upset and boring and even helpless, no matter for earn money or for life i think man should have a job. to be happy everyday!!
@dreamy1 (3815)
• United States
30 Nov 07
No. You don't need a "paying job" to be fulfilled. A job is only to pay the bills Job means "Just Over Broke" and to me that's not fulfilling at all. One does need something to be fulfilled whether it's a job, hobby, goal, idea or whatever. If he isn't looking for a job or doesn't need the money I suggest he look for other things that will make him happy. Do some volunteer work, go back to school, take up a hobby but just don't sit around doing nothing wasting your life
@subha12 (18453)
• India
30 Nov 07
Look in many socities men are supposed toe arn money. If he is dong job, he issupposed toe arn money from that. If that person loses job, then what will he do and from where will he earn money? it is necessity and a very very important thing in life i guess.
@yueyzhqd (47)
• China
30 Nov 07
My opinion is YES. When I was finishde my college. I got my first job, and from then on, I had never stopped. job make me tired, but when I had a weekend, I don't known what to do. I feel a afternoon spend on sleeping or watch TV is commiting a crime. I think now my job is my whole life.
@williamjisir (22904)
• China
30 Nov 07
Hello dear beauty queen. I think that it is true that a man feels fulfilled when he has a stable job with a good salary as men have to be responsible for the family financially, which is one of the most important for men in his family. So I can see how restless and anxious he might feel when jobless and how happy and excited when getting a new job. I just hope that he will like his new job and do it well as he wishes. I wish you both happy, my dear friend.