I don't enjoy driving anymore?

United States
November 30, 2007 4:29pm CST
Lately it has been getting my my nerves to drive..especially in places I am not familiar with and I am only 62..part of the reason is I am on meds that effect my feelings...also my concentration is not what it used to be..so when I suggest that my wife drive it seems to upset her..most of the times she will drive...but she too does not like drive in strange places either ..even when she has been to these places several times...I never was a stellar driver..and in the past year have gotten two tickets..going over the speeding ticket (five miles) and going through a yellow light...so it bothers me and I have been not as confident with my driving as I used to ..i used to love to drive but not anymore...i would rather let someone else drive...maybe I just lost my self-confidence..but I don't know what else I can do to get over this "phobia?_)"
2 people like this
12 responses
@makatas (1103)
• Greece
1 Dec 07
I think you should relax a bit. Organize a trip with your wife, lets say for pic-nic Choose alternative root, maybe through nice scenery, stop frequently and admire the view, or take photos or something. Make driving the way to reach your targets, not the target itself. I hope you soon overcome the problem.
2 people like this
• United States
1 Dec 07
i will overcome this problem..but i know that life throws you a curve and it seems like things hit you all at once...but now that i reflect on this situation all i have to do is relax as i still have a good record..very few people follow all the traffic rules 100%..even the police are big offenders of the traffic rules..but they have perks...but they get tickets too when they are off duty..i know that for a fact..and they too get involved into accidents and they have families and wives and lovers too..lol..stress is one of their problems too..as they are judged on a higher plain..just ask them..lol
@Ruibinha (158)
• Portugal
1 Dec 07
You can't stop driving - That's not questionable! Continue driving, continue doing everything you do. If you fear or "don't liking" it, it will be a disaster. You will lose the capability you have on it, you will gain more fear, and (if) when you lose that fear, you want to drive, you already forgot something. Try this: go to a place you like, drive when and where is less traffic then drive back to your house. If you already fear it, begin with simple things. Is with simple we reach complex situation and we succeeded. Can it be something else that bothers you and gets consequences in your driving? If you used to love driving and now you fear/don't like it, something is wrong :|. Or even maybe is paranoia (don't think bad at it). Aren't you thinking a lot that your meds are effecting you and your capability is getting lost? I hope you luck and don't think about it, just drive!
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
Will all due respect here, why are you encouraging someone on medications that are effecting their preception to drive a car? Bay xx
2 people like this
@Ruibinha (158)
• Portugal
1 Dec 07
How do you know its from meds? Can't it be just a thing, when you think you can't do it, you can't. And yes, i say to him: "drive!". Not only because he has probably more years driving than most of all. Meds have effects of course. But i said to drive when and where is less traffic. If you read again, maybe it would help. How do you know isn't something in his mind that is making this? I know people that takes anti-depression and for being less stressed pills and they still drive. Then we might say that half of the world would never drive because they were in that kind of pills... This should be a doctor to decide, if it is the pills having some kind of effect or it isn't the pills. You presume it's pills, i presume both.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
thannks for the kind words..yes,,, meds can make you feel different..but i don't drink and drive and i even quit smoking over 22 years ago..but saying that when i was a younger person i would not think anything of driving while i had been drinking and i never got caught drunk driving or even driving impaired..but i was just darn lucky in a few cases..but also years ago the cops were more lenient on drinking and driving and unless it was not real obvious that you were impaired most cops would look the other way..or give you a very big break..but not anymore...i used to get "warning" tickets...something i don't see too much of anymore as when the police (especially the state police) pull you over you have a ticket...i drove thousands a miles a week without a problem...but sometimes after retirement you change your feelings about things..like you say "you don't stop driving" but we become more focused as we are not living in the same world it was when we first started to drive..i have a 96 year old uncle and he still drives and he claims he never got a traffic ticket in his life...as he always talks his way out of them..lol..maybe so as he was in politics most of his life.."keep on trucking"
• United States
30 Nov 07
Hello Asawako, I'm really sorry to hear this. I would like to say, without sounding offensive or argumentive, that I'm glad that you recognized that your medications may be effecting you ability to drive and you refrain. I think that was very brave of you! I don't think that 62 is really all that old, but many drivers in this age range aren't as sharp as they once were, and still keep driving. I think that is dangerous, just as dangerous as young drivers. I guess everyone can be careless at times, and I don't mean to point fingers, but the older we get the less reactions we have, medications or not. I'm not sure what you can do to get over this phobia, maybe it's not really a phobia but an enlightenment. You just might be doing the right thing for your safetly and others. Bay Lay Gray xx
• United States
1 Dec 07
when i was 25 years old and drove for a living..at least one thousand or two thousand on the road a week...every week..i got a lot of points and had to go to a traffic "ref" and he could have taken my lincense then as I had twelve points..mostly speeding..but he did not..but i will never forget the comment he made..he said the worst offenders witht the most points were "police" officers...these officers when they were off duty had a "lead" foot and disregarded alot of safety rules as they wre used tro driving in their squad car..police are supposed to follow the same rules as civilian when they are not in pursuit..but some police do not and get used to driving this way...i always remembered this..but that being said..I will stay "focused" more when I get behind a wheel of a car or a truck..that is the key to survival...plus I have a tendecy to drive slower and I know that a lot of faster driver resent someone who follows the speed limint or goes five miles slower...even in bad weather...but that is there problem..tail gaters i have learned to ignore...drive for conditions.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
Your very right about the police officers, they do tend to ignore things when they are off duty. It happens a lot where I live, they come flying past us, or don't use signals. And they wonder why they are so disliked at times. Hehe I was just happy to hear that you recognized there might be a problem, thats a first in correcting it. I hope you don't think I was dicouraging you from driving. I came off like that too someone else, so if I did to you, I apologise. Bay xx
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
it is just a combination of things that bother me...i am a slow considerate driver but there are so many people who cut us off and pull in front of me but the police only see people who are running YELLOW lights and go five miles or so over the speed limit...i quess its frustrating...but sooner or later we all are going to get a ticket or have some kind of accident...just drive defensively
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Nov 07
I had an accident when I was 19. Hated driving after that. I would second guess my driving all the time. Well, it has taken a few years to get over, but now I enjoy driving again. I would say, Keep trucking, keep driving to get over it. Work on it one day at a time.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
yes, i have had a few accidents myself..its was not always my fault but you suffer the consequences of the accident...yes, I will not give up my driving...i will get back on the horse and ride again after being thrown off...lol...its is just something that we all must face at any age. thanks for the kind words.
• United States
7 Feb 08
yes, just like i got a few bad wives but i got back ...well i got remarried and now i am happily married 22 years..but i did not let a few bad experiences spoil it for the rest of my life..sometimes we forget this..thanks for the nice post.. i still drive..but i focus on my driving..as now I focus my wife more
@superbren (861)
29 Feb 08
Its hard when you lose confidence but you are only young and it would be a shame to let this beat you.Don't dwell on it and just do short journeys for the time being.If you keep your journeys short and familiar maybe you will start regaining your confidence.Stopping driving will leave you more dependant on others so try to keep going as long as you can.
1 person likes this
• United States
29 Feb 08
thanks,, my 96 year old uncle still drives..to church and see family and friends. he drove in 1933 to Chicago Worlds Fair in his 1929 Whippet.. so if my fathers brother can still drive..why should i not? my dad also did not like to drive for various reason..but a phobia can be overcome with faith and using your God given talents ..thanks for the vote of confidence
@Madona1 (2097)
• Gibraltar
6 Feb 08
Hello there, I am sorry to hear that. But the first question comes on my head is you might start having sort of early illness that you haven't noticed. So it is wise to have a check up with your doctor. For driving, I also got a licence but I never dare to drive on the highway as the speed limit is more than 100 that really worries me. I can drive and only on the 80 and under speed small lanes. Not many people believe me but this is true. So you are not the only one have this problem, especially you used to like driving and drove well. So if you doctor can clear you don't have medical issues, you just relax and drive slowly for fun.
1 person likes this
• United States
7 Feb 08
I am going to my doctor tomorrow and i think that i have an idea what my problem is but i will share this with my doctor as i am older then he is and we talk on a common level of sense and you are right...)drive slowly for fun_( but these youong cops they got are so ticket quota happy that they want job security by writing up every little thing to give them points..but this is to be expected
@wisedragon (2331)
• Philippines
1 Dec 07
Maybe you should restrict your driving to short distances. For long distances or places you're not familiar with, better take a cab or a bus. As for tailgaters, as long as you're in the slow lane they have no right to complain. Let them pass. Let them get caught. Haha
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
you sound like a wise person..thanks for your input..after i got my ticket i say a young man in a new car and he got hit in the back of his car (tailgater_)) and he was pushed into another car..so he had damage in the front and in the rear...but his car was driveable..my wife said it was better to get a ticket for going through a yellow light then get hit like that guy..maybe so..maybe so.... i try to drive the speed limint or a few miles under and in some areas the people are in such a hurry and they just get right on your donkey...so i just slow up a little more and don't let them intimidate me....am i wrong?
@nissmon (40)
• India
1 Dec 07
I like to drive very long.i got licence 1 year ago.i dont enjoy driving because after getting licence,i got only a few chances and i was staying in a hostel.when iam going home only,i used to drive.I like to drive in highways with very high speed.I am interested in long drive.driving is too crazy for me.
• United States
1 Dec 07
its fun to drive when you got your mind focused on the road and not over tired or drunk on pills or booze...then it is against the law..methinks..but age has something to do with it too...have fun...i have never been in a hostel but i have been in a dorm..and lived in a tent for awhile at camp..even a couple of nights in jail..but never in a hostel...
• India
1 Dec 07
you are right. driving is different experience for different people. some are crazy about it but some are not like it. I also didnt like to drive in strange places . what you can do is when you go to a strange place keep a map with you. Understand the traffic rules there. And if you go there second time it is more easy.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
When you drive you have to stay focused on the road and the other traffic. The last accident I got into a driver t-boned me in New York and he was talking on his cell phone but nobody was given a ticket as the police did not see the accident. Looking back it could have been me as I was not a familar road and the t raffic was heavy but the accident left a lasting impression on me..also I was involved in a lot of driving over the years and I know it can happen in a fraction of a second and "most" accidents happen withing 25 miles of our homes...but since I retired I don't drive the "old" familiar roads i used to drive to and from work..so I have to stay more "focused" on the roads and my wife never wants to drive on roads that she is not familiar with..I don't blame her..but sometimes I force her to drive as I don't want her to depend on me because I may not always be her for her or there may be a case where she has to drive if I go into for medical treatment...one thing that my wife refuses to learn is to read a map...this sounds like a simple thing..but at 55 she refuses to learn how to read a map...maybe she will someday but this is vital when you are in an area that you are not familiar with...thanks for the positive input..its a jungle out there..lol
@mrsjbelle (1641)
• United States
1 Dec 07
I started having mild panic attacks when driving on the freeway & at night I'm fine on streets I know. Good luck.
1 person likes this
• United Arab Emirates
1 Dec 07
Driving, traffic - Driving is really difficult in heavy traffic.
I don't know driving but my hubby often complaints about how difficult it is to drive in a traffic. He drives 4 hours of the day to and from office due to traffic. If there is no traffic then he may reach office within half an hour or so but just because of traffic, it takes nearly 2 hrs. Really pathetic.
1 person likes this
• United States
1 Dec 07
the funny part is i used to drive a lot..and all on strange roads..but now that I am retired i kind of lost the same feeling i had before...i just have to stay focused more and bite the bullet..our little town of Monroe, Michigan is getting just as bad as the bigger cities arouond us..people are in such a hurry that they don't seem to want to give anybody a break and will cut you off in a heartbeat.. so i will have to bite the bullet and learn to drive more defensive...thanks for the kind words...i feel sorry for your husband as I used to drive every week from southeastern Monroe to Chicago..and i enjoyed it..at one time..all toll roads..but the side roads are the ones that get me in trouble now..lol..people drive like differently..and now with the holidays? well..i will stay more focused...Good luck to your husband..even some of my truck driving friends and firemen friends tell me the people don't pull over for them...and they have lights flashing and sirens on..so its not just the average driver..when you see an emergency..get in the other lane..or you will get a ticket..its now our state waw..thanks for the kind words.
@ruthinian (2311)
• United States
1 Mar 08
I still can't drive here in the US because I still have no driver license. My hubby is still worried to make me drive because it's winter and I am new here. My husband and in-laws are always complaining about the road now because of snow, sleet, slush, and danger in the road. Maybe when I start driving I will complain about the same problem. My main concern for now is the direction, it's so hard to memorize the route here there is always new road being constructed and makes it more confusing.
• United States
1 Mar 08
i do better if i drive alone and focus on my driving. if i have a passenger i tend to be distraced..sorry..i am also suffering from depression/anxiety after retiring..i probably always had this but it did get worse with more time to think about stuff ..too much..well, i just try to focus more and relax and listen to music i enjoy...i like Roger Whittaker..and some others..it relaxes me..but not the news..lol